Ardesevent
It’s the end of the line, cowboy
- Feb 2, 2020
- 358
I'm a monster. I haven't done any honest work for months, I leech off of my poor dad who doesn't know any better, and my horrible attitude towards my mother was probably a driving force in her suicide. Heck, I wasn't even nice to my poor grandmother, I never wrote her back before she died.
Even if I suddenly become happy and a prolifer like everyone else besides us, I'll still be a monster. I'd just be ignoring everything I did wrong instead of trying to atone for it. It'd still weigh down on me, and nothing I ever do is going to fix it. I'm never going to happy.
I don't deserve a mercy like a death, but I have to die. Maybe if I'm lucky, someplace like hell really exists so I can rot there for eternity. I can't be a parasitic leech any longer. Even death, I'll be a monster, because I know my death is going to emotionally destroy him.
I want to apologize to everyone I've even talked to a hundred times over, but it'd be worthless. An apology does nothing, it's making up for it that matters. By dying, I'm appeasing everyone. Even the dead will happy with it. I can finally make it up to them, too.
Even if I suddenly become happy and a prolifer like everyone else besides us, I'll still be a monster. I'd just be ignoring everything I did wrong instead of trying to atone for it. It'd still weigh down on me, and nothing I ever do is going to fix it. I'm never going to happy.
I don't deserve a mercy like a death, but I have to die. Maybe if I'm lucky, someplace like hell really exists so I can rot there for eternity. I can't be a parasitic leech any longer. Even death, I'll be a monster, because I know my death is going to emotionally destroy him.
I want to apologize to everyone I've even talked to a hundred times over, but it'd be worthless. An apology does nothing, it's making up for it that matters. By dying, I'm appeasing everyone. Even the dead will happy with it. I can finally make it up to them, too.