vrotka
Member
- Nov 21, 2019
- 27
I have ruined so many opportunities in my life. I'm extremely depressed, horribly inpet socially so I'm guessing autistic and I don't see future for myself. I have hit a very low point this month and now I'm only waiting to gather all things I need to CTB, I should be all ready to go within 1-2 weeks time I think.
Yet the horrible guilt about leaving behind my parents and friends is making me hold back a lot. And it came suddenly out of nowhere, because so far I was managing to silence this guilt. My mum wasn't the best, but I still feel so fucking horrible for considering suicide. I can't cope anymore with the constant noise in my brain telling me I'm worthless.
I'm so lost, I just want to go and embrace the void. I don't want to be alive because there is nothing for me.
Yet the horrible guilt about leaving behind my parents and friends is making me hold back a lot. And it came suddenly out of nowhere, because so far I was managing to silence this guilt. My mum wasn't the best, but I still feel so fucking horrible for considering suicide. I can't cope anymore with the constant noise in my brain telling me I'm worthless.
I'm so lost, I just want to go and embrace the void. I don't want to be alive because there is nothing for me.