Venting I'm A Failure At Everything

[Elliana Berriana]

Everything I do is too hard for me. I never succeed at even the simplest of things. Everything feels so overwhelming. I fail at doing literally nothing, I just end up overthinking. The only things I can do are things I don't want to do. Nothing works out for me, and it's my fault because I'm stupid and pathetic.
I tried losing weight a while ago, because I'm fat and disgusting, and I just ended up gaining weight. I'm a disgusting pig with no self control. I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror, but I force myself to, because surely seeing how repulsively hideous I am will motivate me to change that, but it never does.
I try to be a decent human being, put I'm not. I snap and lash out at the people I care about for no reason, because I'm a horrendous piece of crap that doesn't deserve a place in people's lives. Everyone would be better off without me.
I'm just the lowest thing to exist. I can't handle anything, because it's too hard for my pathetic, low self. I ought to die, but I need to suffer an adequate punishment for being so retarded and insufficient.

 

[hallowed_]

I understand that sentiment so much- I've been on both sides of the spectrums, Around a year ago I was overweight and it felt horrible, like nothing I did could help me, that I was dragging my own weight and that nothing would work out ever. The feeling that your just the lowest of the lowest both as a person and due to your body is crushing. I've lost over 40 lbs due to a life threatening incident and honestly it just gets worse. I feel better but the fact that I almost died to get here just makes me think that I'd rather continue to harm myself to stay this way than to go back. The sentiment your having is probably one of the most soul crushing things someone can expirience. Every time I eat I feel like a pig. I look in the mirror and I feel disgusted. Even gaining one pound makes me think that I'm going back to the way I was. It's so crazy to me how society treats weight and even despite there being truth behing the whole "if you can control what you put in your mouth then your the only one to blame for your weight" kinda shit, they don't realize how detrimental it is to people struggling through it. Like it's a "lifestyle" you just can't get out of and it's so hard to get better and recover from it. I sincerely hope your able to get out of that hole of depression you're stuck in. While I'm not taking the blame away from you, society needs to seriously acknowledge the way they handle health because it's honestly sick how they downgrade individuals for everything just to hold onto that sense of superiority while and degrading humans. I assure you that slowly things will change and I'm hoping life gets better for you and that your one day able to get out of the endless cycle of depression society has cause upon you.

 

[BruceWayne]

l was an amateur boxer and was a fireman for several years. i would be walking around 180lbs and would have 3 weeks to cut down to 135lbs. i was doing this for about 23 fights. let me tell you something about losing weight, losing weight isn't about just what you eat, it's your lifestyle. stress makes you gain weight, lack of sleep makes you gain weight. as i got older i realised my face would be fat whilst my body was cut and shredded because i was consuming a lot of sodium. some tips that worked for me;
- eat several small meals a day instead of 3 big ones
-drink 2 cups of green tea daily
- cardio is the only thing that can make you lose weight, we had an hellacious punishment for people who were close to fight night and still over weight( skipping rope near a garbage disposal site in a sauna suit, you could lose 7-10lbs a day)
- drink plenty of water and juices instead of soda
- eat greens no matter what you eat with it

in order to stay fit, you have to live a clean lifestyle all year round, that feeling of worrying what you put in your mouth is natural because it requires discipline to be fit and healthy.

my opinion; eat whatever you want (anything in moderation is fine)

im a sucker for ice cream and theres days where ill just give up and eat a whole tub of ben and jerrys. thankfully because i live clean all year round it doesnt have such a negative effect on my weight. i think the mind is a powerful thing

 

[Crono]

Don't criticize yourself so much, criticize the world around you, we exist in a horrible world and that's not our fault.