Story if you're reading this I'm either dead or incapacitated

[hewiof]

I've set this thread to be posted a week after today. I intend to go through with full hanging later tonight. I've been semi-active on sasu for about a year, through some different accounts that I kept forgetting my passwords to. I would've made a goodbye thread but I thought that might be distressing for users who've spoken with me at length. Though I won't be able to chat with you all and see any of your well wishes, I think everyone dies alone and maybe I should face that head on.

I'm 18F, have lived a privileged life objectively speaking but I'm suffering and I'm ready for the pain to stop. I'm pretty happy that the end is coming soon, though it does make me a bit upset that I'm throwing all my potential away, but I can't bear to keep on having to live this life. All the obligations responsibilities commitments expectations (even though those are mostly imposed by me on myself) are too much and I feel that no matter what direction my life takes whether it be good or bad I will remain deeply unsatisfied. Many longitudinal studies which have followed up with adolescents who've attempted ctb many years later show that most of them are content with life, but I feel that no amount of joy that awaits me in the future is worth experiencing the pain I feel now.

anyway I'm not sure why I'm rambling on because it's not like I'm going to be there to see this be posted after I'm dead. My best wishes to everyone on this forum, you all have been through a lot of shit yourselves, and you all have been incredibly kind to me, regardless of my decision to live or die. I hope you all find happiness, whatever form that takes for you. Bye <3

 

[rozeske]

It's sad to see you go so soon but I hope you have found your peace. Rest easy 🕊

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I hope you found peace.

RIP

 

[Forever Sleep]

I hope you found peace.

 

[jacobryan]

I hope you found peace.

 

[AllMyDreams]

RIP. I'm so sorry.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope that you found the freedom you were searching for, best wishes.

 

[iloverachel]

Good bye my friend

 

[ForgottenAgain]

It's really different reading a scheduled thread, wondering whether you're here or not. I hope all went well with your attempt and that you're no longer suffering. I'm sorry it had to get to this point.

 

[DefinitelyReady]

It's really different reading a scheduled thread, wondering whether you're here or not. I hope all went well with your attempt and that you're no longer suffering. I'm sorry it had to get to this point.

Yeah I wondered how that was possible? You can schedule an email but I haven't seen a feature that could schedule a post? But this site is chaos so who knows. Maybe could've had a friend post it? Doesn't seem likely. If he (or she) is gone though I'm sorry they're gone.

 

[WoNkEy_DoNkEy]

@hewiof
I feel both sad and angry that such decisions end up having to be made knowing what awful things we're probably thinking and feeling towards the end. I hope your soul has either found peace or you're blinked out of existence. Which ever one you wanted in life I hope you have in death.

R.I.P

 

[Jorms_McGander]

Fuck those longitudinal studies!

All that does is say that normies are gonna normie.

They lied through their teeth lol they spent so long focusing on suicidality as a solitary aberration that they completely missed neurodivergence and now they've created a traumatically invalidated adult, which is to say I have been deeply fucked in my head by the behaviour of people who thought they were doing right by just challenging my desire to die.

All it did is add anger to my mix lol. Now I'm angry that nobody tried to solve my suicidality other than to step on it. Step on it the way a quiet son gets stepped on...

 

[justcallmeJ]

I hope you found the peace you were looking for <3

 

[bipbapbop]

I hope you are at peace now, however that may be.

 

[lostinwoe]

I've set this thread to be posted a week after today. I intend to go through with full hanging later tonight. I've been semi-active on sasu for about a year, through some different accounts that I kept forgetting my passwords to. I would've made a goodbye thread but I thought that might be distressing for users who've spoken with me at length. Though I won't be able to chat with you all and see any of your well wishes, I think everyone dies alone and maybe I should face that head on.

I'm 18F, have lived a privileged life objectively speaking but I'm suffering and I'm ready for the pain to stop. I'm pretty happy that the end is coming soon, though it does make me a bit upset that I'm throwing all my potential away, but I can't bear to keep on having to live this life. All the obligations responsibilities commitments expectations (even though those are mostly imposed by me on myself) are too much and I feel that no matter what direction my life takes whether it be good or bad I will remain deeply unsatisfied. Many longitudinal studies which have followed up with adolescents who've attempted ctb many years later show that most of them are content with life, but I feel that no amount of joy that awaits me in the future is worth experiencing the pain I feel now.

anyway I'm not sure why I'm rambling on because it's not like I'm going to be there to see this be posted after I'm dead. My best wishes to everyone on this forum, you all have been through a lot of shit yourselves, and you all have been incredibly kind to me, regardless of my decision to live or die. I hope you all find happiness, whatever form that takes for you. Bye <3

happy for you hope it worked out

 

[melancholymallory03]

I've set this thread to be posted a week after today. I intend to go through with full hanging later tonight. I've been semi-active on sasu for about a year, through some different accounts that I kept forgetting my passwords to. I would've made a goodbye thread but I thought that might be distressing for users who've spoken with me at length. Though I won't be able to chat with you all and see any of your well wishes, I think everyone dies alone and maybe I should face that head on.

I'm 18F, have lived a privileged life objectively speaking but I'm suffering and I'm ready for the pain to stop. I'm pretty happy that the end is coming soon, though it does make me a bit upset that I'm throwing all my potential away, but I can't bear to keep on having to live this life. All the obligations responsibilities commitments expectations (even though those are mostly imposed by me on myself) are too much and I feel that no matter what direction my life takes whether it be good or bad I will remain deeply unsatisfied. Many longitudinal studies which have followed up with adolescents who've attempted ctb many years later show that most of them are content with life, but I feel that no amount of joy that awaits me in the future is worth experiencing the pain I feel now.

anyway I'm not sure why I'm rambling on because it's not like I'm going to be there to see this be posted after I'm dead. My best wishes to everyone on this forum, you all have been through a lot of shit yourselves, and you all have been incredibly kind to me, regardless of my decision to live or die. I hope you all find happiness, whatever form that takes for you. Bye <3

I'm so sorry life has brought you here, I'm wishing you peace and comfort in your journey and I hope things work out as you'd like.

 

[boddibo]

I hope you found peace.

@DefinitelyReady you can schedule a thread on Sasu

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I hope you've found your peace.

 

[bookgirl]

I hope you found the peace you were looking for

 

[mapleboy]

I hope you were able to find peace, OP. Wishing you the best.