F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
I'm not sure it would bother me much unless I had a very close relationship with them. I feel like a virtual stranger when I see my mother. We never had much of a relationship though.
 
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Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,704
Even worse if i say im aching inside there young.....im trapped here and my partner so controlling i hate him so much i want him to go but its the kids and if i go what hope have they.......but i cant make things better and the pressure i feel like him and everyone out to get me....but the question is would they be better of without me they should have a good life they deserve it so much...it hard to talk about.....i dont know if i can do it alone its a long long story like most of ours im with him since i was 16 left home and instead runnin from bad to good i ran from bad to even worse .....

Rallyon, if I understand you, you and your children are living with your partner, who is very controlling and not who you want your kids to be raised by? Is there any way you can leave, taking your children with you? Is there anyone in your family you and the kids could stay with? Or: There are shelters and social services to help in this kind of situation. If you get out of your current situation you could hopefully think more clearly about how to go forward, and what options are available.

I want you to be able to think clearly and make your best decisions. My mother killed herself when I was an infant and left a dreadful hole where every child's sense of love and acceptance and self-worth is supposed to be. I know you don't want to do that to your children. You need to make good choices for them as well as for yourself.
 
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H

headinghome

Experienced
Apr 11, 2019
205
They are already dead… I keep asking them to help me die…
 
A

ApproachingSilence

Member
Mar 28, 2019
25
Let's say someone is around 35 years of age and both of his parents end it all because they are getting older and sicker. They can still function, one of them has high pain levels and hates being old.
Is it morally wrong for the parents to do this? Would it have been better for them to never have had their child?
I am searching for people who last a parent to suicide and to get an idea of how bad the devastation really is-is it like wanting to die bad, never getting over it bad, and losing your job and becoming a bum kind of bad or is it bad in the sense that eventually you learn to live with it without going crazy?

I'd be completely finished. That's why I must have a plan in place once they are no longer around.
 
TheDevilsAngel

TheDevilsAngel

LetMeFree
Apr 22, 2019
768
Rallyon, if I understand you, you and your children are living with your partner, who is very controlling and not who you want your kids to be raised by? Is there any way you can leave, taking your children with you? Is there anyone in your family you and the kids could stay with? Or: There are shelters and social services to help in this kind of situation. If you get out of your current situation you could hopefully think more clearly about how to go forward, and what options are available.

I want you to be able to think clearly and make your best decisions. My mother killed herself when I was an infant and left a dreadful hole where every child's sense of love and acceptance and self-worth is supposed to be. I know you don't want to do that to your children. You need to make good choices for them as well as for yourself.
I've told him to leave so many times and when he leaves he guilt tripps to come back i always give in i do try last time was on my own and got a few days i didn't let him back then he followed me on day to get my social welfare money sorted talked me out if it and now he here he sleeping on couch he went threw my things the other day...i tryed my family or what left of it and they made me feel horrible and brought all my childhood memories back i cant hav my kids grow up like me my mother keeps drinking and gets so drunk i have to carry her to bed.....when im alone i get scared and panic I don't know what to do i bearly leave the house without him so it makes it extra hard to be alone it such a long story....im in such a state i tremble most the time abd sometimes get very paranoid i feel if he not here it will be even easier for people or him to hurt me i don't know how t be strong anymore abd for the first time in my life in control im so used from childhood onwards to be under the control of a man....if all that makes sense....
Rallyon, if I understand you, you and your children are living with your partner, who is very controlling and not who you want your kids to be raised by? Is there any way you can leave, taking your children with you? Is there anyone in your family you and the kids could stay with? Or: There are shelters and social services to help in this kind of situation. If you get out of your current situation you could hopefully think more clearly about how to go forward, and what options are available.

I want you to be able to think clearly and make your best decisions. My mother killed herself when I was an infant and left a dreadful hole where every child's sense of love and acceptance and self-worth is supposed to be. I know you don't want to do that to your children. You need to make good choices for them as well as for yourself.
Ya i no my babies need me they are so precious i know i need be strong for them its just so hard i love them so much i want them to hav a good life and childhood i just duno how to when i so messed up i feel everyone knows everything about me and my neighbours talk bad i dont look or speak to them or really anyone and i always home i feel they hate me and think bad of me...
 
Last edited:
housecat

housecat

Member
Apr 5, 2019
86
I don't know. I'd rather they didn't, but I'd understand if they were in a situation where they felt they had to. It would make my decision easier.
 
ScottPilgram

ScottPilgram

slime guy, xe/xem it/its
Feb 2, 2019
131
It would be tough financially for a while but otherwise I would be relieved. No more mind games.
 
Monster

Monster

Member
Apr 26, 2019
77
I'd have one less reason to feel guilty so I'd be more likely to finally kill myself. And if also feel less guilty because people would "understand" why I did it because I'd have a legitimate reason in their eyes.
 
tomz323

tomz323

Walking to the bus stop
Mar 29, 2019
367
I feel zero connection to anyone so it is hard to say.
 

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