If your family knows you might ctb does it reduce their pain if you eventually do it?

[Powderedmonster]

I hid my suicidiality from my family and still don't tell them anything about it. However, due to a friend of mine spilling the beans and basically telling my parents everything a few months ago, now they know about it. Also, my mom found my ropes today in my drawer because she decided to clean my room. I only know this because I came home and my room was spotless so I looked in my drawer and the ropes were gone. They were there for months. She seems stressed but not too terribly and didn't even talk to me about it. My question is whether her knowing about the possibility of my death reduces the impact my death would have on her should it happen in the future. Like, if I ctb, will the fact that she found my ropes and knew about my (past) suicidiality kind of soften the blow? I'm mad embarrassed and feel so awkward about her finding my ropes but I think it's good that it sort of prepares her in a way for what (might) come...

 

[Alchemist]

I have said it and they don't take it setiously, so the shock will still be there when they realize I was serious.

 

[_milo]

I suppose it could, but it can also amplify the pain. For example, if they were aware of how you felt beforehand there can be extra guilt that weighs on them knowing that you felt that way and maybe they could've done something. Or maybe didn't do enough.

It can go either way, humans are tricky creatures. Especially emotionally, it's difficult to predict how they might feel.