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whybother2002

you with the sad eyes
Oct 14, 2025
35
I want to die so much but this part scares me. I've read people here talking about listening to their playlist — I don't think this will calm me. What if I embrace the death watching beautiful movie scenes? I don't know. It's really hard. I don't have access to alprazolam or diazepam anymore since I tried OD.
 
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Reactions: LostZombie, EmptyBottle and betternever2havbeen
pthnrdnojvsc

pthnrdnojvsc

Extreme Pain is much worse than people know
Aug 12, 2019
3,846
finally feel some joy because i finally did something rational to solve all my problems at once forever , the greatest victory of all time
 
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Reactions: somethingisntreal, somewhatdeadly, EmptyBottle and 1 other person
B

betternever2havbeen

Enlightened
Jun 19, 2022
1,087
Think I'm gonna post my experience on here so am not alone and hope ppl can calm me down and hope to god I don't panic and call for an ambulance. I don't think I'd be able to concentrate on doing anything else.
 
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Reactions: EmptyBottle and whybother2002
UserFromNowhere

UserFromNowhere

Member
May 4, 2025
85
Might be harsh, but if you're scared when you ingest the SN, you shouldn't do it in the first place. Take some time to question why you're scared of it, determine whether you actually want to go through the process, and only if you're able to assuage your fears should you make that choice. For me, if I do decide to take SN, it's because I've made the decision I truly want to die, which is why I'll be fine listening to a playlist as I wait for my last sleep to take hold. There's a fine line between survival instinct and being scared to die that this forum often conflates and it matters.
 
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Reactions: Csmith8827 and vira
M

Mira Gaga

Member
Oct 16, 2025
12
I'd probably still be self harming and cutting to make sure I get the job done. Maybe add a little antifreeze for good measure. Maybe also some painkillers or booze to numb the pain I guess.
 
vira

vira

all my life is on me now
Apr 28, 2025
117
I'd probably still be self harming and cutting to make sure I get the job done. Maybe add a little antifreeze for good measure. Maybe also some painkillers or booze to numb the pain I guess.
blood might make you feel nauseous, if you were considering this and it wasnt a hypothetical
 
W

whybother2002

you with the sad eyes
Oct 14, 2025
35
Might be harsh, but if you're scared when you ingest the SN, you shouldn't do it in the first place. Take some time to question why you're scared of it, determine whether you actually want to go through the process, and only if you're able to assuage your fears should you make that choice. For me, if I do decide to take SN, it's because I've made the decision I truly want to die, which is why I'll be fine listening to a playlist as I wait for my last sleep to take hold. There's a fine line between survival instinct and being scared to die that this forum often conflates and it matters.
I understand, and it's not a fear of death. Humans are not robots. I've been contemplating suicide for a long time. I can't stand to live. Yet I'm certain that some anxiety will hit me. When I tried to OD it made me agitated. They even recommend xanax in the SN Bible. It's not as simple as the Elephant Man sleeping for the last time, as romantic as that might be.
 
UserFromNowhere

UserFromNowhere

Member
May 4, 2025
85
I understand, and it's not a fear of death. Humans are not robots. I've been contemplating suicide for a long time. I can't stand to live. Yet I'm certain that some anxiety will hit me. When I tried to OD it made me agitated. They even recommend xanax in the SN Bible. It's not as simple as the Elephant Man sleeping for the last time, as romantic as that might be.
That's fair. I'm not of the belief that humans are robots, but neither do I believe we're animals controlled by biochemical responses. Which is why I am left to wonder what I will experience in my final moments. Some people have said they felt relief, others felt enough panic to call emergency services, where each person lies is their own experience which cannot be determined until they commit to it.
 
Csmith8827

Csmith8827

Strength.
Oct 26, 2019
986
I want to die so much but this part scares me. I've read people here talking about listening to their playlist — I don't think this will calm me. What if I embrace the death watching beautiful movie scenes? I don't know. It's really hard. I don't have access to alprazolam or diazepam anymore since I tried OD.
Not trying to hijack your thread but how is diazepam? I've been considering getting it but my funds aren't ready yet... they are....I have money I just don't want to spend it on that yet...if that makes sense. When I have more I will...but I've only taken Valium once or twice before...it was nice tho from what I recall...
 

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