If you really wanted to CTB you wouldn't tell anyone about it...

[dogemn]

You'd just do it. Do you think that's true?
Is telling people about it just attention seeking behavior?

 

[leloyon]

Not really. I think most humans like to talk about their feelings, and if you're suicidal that's the strongest thing you feel.
That being said, caution is best. I've only told people online who can't stop me.

 

[briarrose]

i think attention seeking behavior is oftentimes a cry for help, and even if someone may truly want to ctb, they may also be hoping that by telling someone things may get better. we're all desperate to escape our pain one way or another, and no matter how badly someone wants to ctb they may also be hoping that the pain can go away without having to resort to risky, drastic measures. after all, after a failed attempt, things only get worse. more than death, they may fear a failed attempt.

though, no matter the reason they tell someone they're going to/want to ctb, be it survival instinct or a cry for help or something else entirely, i don't think it inherently means they don't actually want to ctb.

 

[Need Peace]

When I'm actively thinking about and planning my CBT, I'm not telling anybody. However, after a few days, I'll come out of that mindset, scared of my thoughts, and confide in someone. I downplay it though. Like "they're just thoughts, I'm not really gonna do it." That way I don't get baker acted.

I keep waffling back and forth from wanting to CBT and wanting help.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

Absolutely no way would I tell anyone about my plans to ctb.
The last time I did this I ended up in a rubber room in the psych ward because a family member called the mental health services and reported me.

 

[saddavyd]

I think that wanting the pain to stop and wanting to ctb at the same time are not mutually exclusive, maybe even common. So speaking about it may be a way of calling for help.

Perhaps when someone has absolutely no interest in staying alive, maybe they would just do it, but we are all different and go about things in different ways. That's what makes the world so special (or not as your opinion goes).

 

[FuneralCry]

No, I think it's understandable for many people wanting to be open about their plans to cease existing, ideally people should have the option to say farewell without any risk of interference with their decision being respected. I just believe it's a terrible idea doing such a thing in this anti-suicide society though, it's horrible how suicidal people end up being punished for sharing their true feelings by being locked in a psych ward.

 

[outrider567]

You'd just do it. Do you think that's true?
Is telling people about it just attention seeking behavior?

True

 

[Scythe]

I tell people because I don't want to disappear without a warning. I also want them to know my reasonings and let them know this is the best way out for me and that they could not have done anything to change this. I want to tell them when I'm still alive rather than tell them in a note because if they have questions they can still ask me. It's also so that I can hopefully make my departure less impactful for them by talking with them when I'm still alive.

 

[Misery99]

Not really. I think most humans like to talk about their feelings, and if you're suicidal that's the strongest thing you feel.
That being said, caution is best. I've only told people online who can't stop me.

Yeah that's true...I also tell only people I know online about my plans to ctb because I don't feel comfortable enough to tell that to people I know in real life.

 

[Morgengrauen]

I've had times where i was doing self destructive things and making attempts as a cry for help while not even daring to utter the word suicide around irl's and i had times where i'm 100% sure about ending my life and telling people casually about my plans like it's a normal thing like telling them about getting a new job or buying a new table. You can't really measure how serious somebody is about ctb on how open they are.

 

[leloyon]

Yeah that's true...I also tell only people I know online about my plans to ctb because I don't feel comfortable enough to tell that to people I know in real life.

I think if someone's planning on telling someone in real life about their plans, they might as well just ask the person to stop them, since that's all it's going to achieve.

 

[sserafim]

You'd just do it. Do you think that's true?
Is telling people about it just attention seeking behavior?

Personally I don't tell anyone about it because no one needs to know, it's my business. There's no point in me telling anyone about it. I was having an argument with my mom though and I said that I hated having to exist and be a human. Then she said something like "well just go die already then".

 

[UKscotty]

Yeah I don't get it at all when people ask if they should tell people.

Telling anyone will either risk getting you sectioned, or they will shun you as a liability.

 

[nicotine_goblin]

Telling people about your plans when you are 100% sure you will do it is definitely counter productive. But it's perfectly fine to ask for help if you think you need it, or crave attention. Everyone needs and deserves attention, especially during such difficult moments as contemplating ctb

 

[claraisnotcarol]

in my case, very mixed feeling about this. I mean, I really try to, really. I actually have expressed my desire to end my life with my love ones, but when don't take it seriously it's the most heartbreaking feeling

 

[Neverfeltdeader]

Absolutely no way would I tell anyone about my plans to ctb.
The last time I did this I ended up in a rubber room in the psych ward because a family member called the mental health services and reported me.

Ugh, same thing happened to me! I had to admit myself to the ER where they held me for such a long time in this horrible claustrophobic room. All because I was looking for a therapist to help me with my suicidal ideation. Never again will I tell a single soul about my intentions of ctb.

 

[Weary_Mary64]

I tell people because I don't want to disappear without a warning. I also want them to know my reasonings and let them know this is the best way out for me and that they could not have done anything to change this. I want to tell them when I'm still alive rather than tell them in a note because if they have questions they can still ask me. It's also so that I can hopefully make my departure less impactful for them by talking with them when I'm still alive.

I feel exactly the same way. I have told all the people important to me months back about my intentions so that they hopefully won't feel as overwhelmed when I actually disappear. I think they will be more able to understand me and my actions this way; I just want to take off at least some weight of their shoulders. But now, as my plans are getting more specific, I also stopped talking about my intentions so that no one can interfere.
Additionally, I just feel that I should not have to hide my plans in fear of being put into a mental hospital, I don't want to hide that part of me. I think that this is a topic people should be talking about much more. This might spread more clarity and I like to think that this is my small contribution to make suicide a less stigmatized topic if I talk about it openly.

 

[olearius]

"Attention seeking behavior" is just called having needs. There is no such thing as "attention seeking". Fundamentally, it's always someone trying to meet a need, though it may not always be obvious what they need.

Telling people about being suicidal is trying to have your needs met - whether it's because you need someone to listen without judgement or intervene with medical attention.

 

[kilowatt]

I think telling others your plan is not a good idea in general, but nor so I think it is attention seeking if you announce you plan on CTB.

 

[Neverfeltdeader]

You'd just do it. Do you think that's true?
Is telling people about it just attention seeking behavior?

Personally I don't tell anyone about it because no one needs to know, it's my business. There's no point in me telling anyone about it. I was having an argument with my mom though and I said that I hated having to exist and be a human. Then she said something like "well just go die already then".

Wow that's shitty that your mom said that. I bet she doesn't take you seriously.

 

[gonnaregretthis]

while i would never tell anyone my own plans if i was serious about it and i would never suggest telling someone they dont trust ever, i dont think its "attention seeking". i think our biological instinct is to survive even if this world is against our survival sometimes. it's complicated. sometimes venting feels better. i think thats why places like this site work. but mentioning to (an understanding) friend that you're depressed or even that you have thought abt ctb has been helpful to me (shrug) its really case by case unfortunately
while i would never tell anyone my own plans if i was serious about it and i would never suggest telling someone they dont trust ever, i dont think its "attention seeking". i think our biological instinct is to survive even if this world is against our survival sometimes. it's complicated. sometimes venting feels better. i think thats why places like this site work. but mentioning to (an understanding) friend that you're depressed or even that you have thought abt ctb has been helpful to me (shrug) its really case by case unfortunately

 

[Kundalini Guy]

It's honestly so hard to "just do it" and it's not attention seeking it's more like a cry for help before you eventually do it

 

[BlazingBob]

I told my dad and he said stop talking about it and just do it.

 

[sash]

I expect as in all walks of life there are ppl who abuse the threat of ctb for attention. I had an uncle when I was young who threatened often for attn, he was nans fav son too, he'd rattle the bottle down the fone at her normally at stupid o'clock so nan couldn't do anything til transport running, she'd bus/train/taxi 150m to him. I stopped her once, he didn't die. He did it 2b cruel. He's in prison last time I heard.
Then there's the ones who tell ppl cos they feel its right for them and their loved ones and hopefully soften the blow.
But the majority who tell are at the point where nobody can hear them, they tried all other ways and at their wits end, had enough, feel like truly giving in and the telling ppl is a blood curdling scream for help, NOT attention seeking just want to be heard cos they're in so much pain.

Personal choice. Its nice to have one.

No-one irl will know about my ctb day. Well except for the partner I hope to find to go with.

 

[Georgehelm]

You'd just do it. Do you think that's true?
Is telling people about it just attention seeking behavior?

For some people it's to seek attention but for others they feel that they can trust certain people so they tell them. I don't think most people do it for attention though they just need to tell others how they feel.

 

[sserafim]

while i would never tell anyone my own plans if i was serious about it and i would never suggest telling someone they dont trust ever, i dont think its "attention seeking". i think our biological instinct is to survive even if this world is against our survival sometimes. it's complicated. sometimes venting feels better. i think thats why places like this site work. but mentioning to (an understanding) friend that you're depressed or even that you have thought abt ctb has been helpful to me (shrug) its really case by case unfortunately
while i would never tell anyone my own plans if i was serious about it and i would never suggest telling someone they dont trust ever, i dont think its "attention seeking". i think our biological instinct is to survive even if this world is against our survival sometimes. it's complicated. sometimes venting feels better. i think thats why places like this site work. but mentioning to (an understanding) friend that you're depressed or even that you have thought abt ctb has been helpful to me (shrug) its really case by case unfortunately

Ugh I hate the biological instinct to survive. I wish I could just die in peace already. I hate how your body tries to actively keep you alive even though you don't even want to live anymore. I hate SI! I also hate the fact that it's hard to die. I haven't attempted yet because I'm too scared to fail and be left with permanent damage. I wish I knew beforehand if I would succeed or not

 

[gonnaregretthis]

Ugh I hate the biological instinct to survive. I wish I could just die in peace already. I hate how your body tries to actively keep you alive even though you don't even want to live anymore. I hate SI! I also hate the fact that it's hard to die. I haven't attempted yet because I'm too scared to fail and be left with permanent damage. I wish I knew beforehand if I would succeed or not

agree with all of this :(

 

[Deleted member 65988]

I told my dad and he said stop talking about it and just do it.

that's absolutely messed up

 

[AshClouds]

You'd just do it. Do you think that's true?
Is telling people about it just attention seeking behavior?

I sure as fuck wouldn't tell anyone.