Discussion If you have a will to live, what jump-started it?

[suffocatingseraphim]

Is there anything that inspired your will to live, or convinced you that living was something to continue doing?
Be it a person, place, thing, experience, mindset, etc.. Was there something specific that made you reconsider dying? Even if you still struggle, if there's a small will there, what struck it?

Personally, I don't exactly have a strong will to live, but still a somewhat present one that refuses to leave. I suppose it's a good thing, but I still find comfort in the thought of ctb. It can raise or lower depending on my situation or head space, but my will to live is mostly driven by what my death might do to those I care about. I've had friends pass away from ctb before, and it.. really stuck with me and changed me as a person. There are a few set circumstances that have made me push on living, even if it's grueling.

Some folks may find it silly, but thinking of my 2 cats not knowing when I'd come home usually stops me from going through with ctb fully.

Feel free to attach photos or write to your hearts content on what's stuck with you! ^^

 

[Mr2005]

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Image DSC-2570 hosted in ImgBB

ibb.co

 

[Giraffey]

I'm working on a project that has the potential to help people and make a difference in their lives. That's what is keeping me going right at this moment; I just don't know if it's 'enough' to outweigh the long-term issues that I see as inhibitors of hope. It's half a reason I guess.

 

[MariV]

my family...ang getting finally discharged from the hospital. now normal boring life feels fantastic

 

[Deleted member 1465]

@BPD_LE was proud of me for trying when I was at my worst. She made me feel I wasn't worthless. It allowed me to access an inner core of strength that I did not know I had and hope I can continue to have.
@Quarky00 showed so much interest in my local situation that it prompted me to go out and walk so that i could take pics of the woods to show him. That led me to gardening and that gave me one of the most rewarding spring/summer periods I've ever had, despite my fears and issues.
I developed the will to live due to members on here who became invaluable friends.
I guess that's why I'm still here.

 

[netrezven]

My mind: ok i will die anyway some day or night, or in space, i dont' know. What matters is what is going to happen with the people i care about and anything else that i want to happen afterwards. And there are so many things that i want to do and trigger while i'm alive. So until i'm breathing i won't give up. /sadly it's a very convinient solution for those who don't apply with me, so i don't mind skipping a few times from goals list/.

 

[muffin222]

An unexpected change came into my life that shifted my perspective and re-ignited my will to live. But, even so, I still have nights of profound despair and suicidal thoughts. I don't think it will ever fully go away for me

 

[onlyeverexisting]

I'm feeling a little less hopeless than usual right now, and I think it's partially because I've realized I could kill myself at any time. I might as well try to collect some experiences before I go. You can't take it with you, as they say.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

If you had asked me last week I would have said that being in love was definitely going to keep me alive. If it had continued then I would probably even never have had any reason to want to CTB again. Too bad that's all gone for me now...

 

[Bitterman1996]

As pathetic as it sounds, fictional escapism. I still love a lot of fictions right now as long as I'm not anhedonic.

 

[Quetzal]

It comes and goes, but I've been diagnosed in the past as BPD so maybe that's why? But generally on a good day (which are getting pretty rare), it's a lot of little things. I want to see how something ends up, I want to visit a place, I want to just continue doing what I'm doing.

Additionally I noticed that it became a lot easier to enjoy little things in life once I had a method for CTB lined up and planned.

Also, medication. I hate the way mental health in the US is handled so I just do it myself (wouldn't recommend to everyone though). Modafinil mostly cures my depression and my ADHD. Don't have a script for it so I have to order it from shady internet pharmacies.