If You Could Rewrite Your Life, Would You?

[L'absent]

Life is often described as a one-time journey, but what if you had the chance to start over? Would you take the opportunity to rewrite your existence, or would you rather stay as you are, flaws and all? Maybe you'd prefer not to return at all. This question isn't just about fantasy — it's about exploring how we see ourselves, our choices, and the lives we've lived so far.

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

Not been born personally…Also, stay as I am… but return away from sender…
I'm leaving to another universe that isnt this one :D

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I'd rather not be reborn at all but, if I were to be reborn, I would want my same life but with a few changes

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

You're so brave… I couldn't do that or want that!

I'd rather not be reborn at all but, if I were to be reborn, I would want my same life but with a few changes

 

[L'absent]

This has been the subject of tens of thousands of hours of daydreams for me. I think a death seems pretty pointless if one could understand that there is a sense by which their essence is reborn, and meaningful only by the sensitivities and exactness in things less likely to repeat.

As an artist whose identity orbits suffering, I found myself masochistically begging for more of it and quicker. If I could do it all over again, I would wish to be more active and surrounded by likeminded artsy people that would have enabled me in my best and worst. Less complacency and more directed action. Less passive desperation. Maybe I'd carry with myself more hope and momentum, and reach all the little crevasses of my potential I feel a strong hollow presence from. I don't love myself but I can't claim to know anything else with enough confidence to fantasize accurately about exercising control over. I find so much of my pain as necessary that I cannot imagine a world without it. I know so many ways I could have pursued fulfilling avenues quicker and with more voracity, I find it hard to not stare at my wall and imagine its taste. I wish the weight of my regrets were heavier, but higher up.

Above all I would opt for my essence to have never existed, or for it to never be reborn

What you've shared is powerful and imbued with a depth that makes one reflect. I'm struck by how you perceive pain not just as a burden, but as a necessary force, almost an inevitable companion in your artistic and human journey. The desire to have acted with more drive and less complacency feels almost like a cry of rebellion against the passivity that, paradoxically, seems intertwined with your creativity.

What resonated with me most is your idea of not wanting to be reborn or to have never existed at all. I wonder: do you think this essence you speak of, the one that has experienced pain and regrets, is something you would have wanted to transform, or do you accept it as inevitable? And if suffering is truly essential to creating something authentic, do you believe that your desire to be reborn without pain could still preserve your artistic identity?

Your perspective is deeply touching, and I wonder how many of us share this conflicting relationship between pain, the desire for change, and the fear of losing that part of ourselves that has made it meaningful.

Not been born personally…Also, stay as I am… but return away from sender…
I'm leaving to another universe that isnt this one :D

Your message is intriguing, almost enigmatic. The idea of 'not being born' and 'returning far away to the sender' feels like an invitation to view existence as something transient, a temporary detour from the place of true belonging. Your perspective on the universe and the thought of 'departing' for another realm has an almost poetic quality.

I wonder: do you see this transition as a desire for escape or as an inevitable return to a more authentic state? And if we could truly choose to leave for another universe, what would your ideal destination be? The idea of leaving this universe behind is fascinating, but I wonder if it truly means separating from who we are, or if it's a way to find a different version of ourselves.

 

[NonEssential]

Would perhaps be worth a shot to live a life of someone who's not an anxious incompetent loser.

 

[L'absent]

thank you very much, bravery is all I am, or all any of us are, whether we are aware of it or not. It's just a fantasy, I am nothing but a horrified coward otherwise. Also your profile looks very nice and you seem very nice thank u for responding to me.



suffering is not a necessary framing to the underlying weight that is the essence of something authentic. I use it like an ancient rice farmer would use a sickle. I simply believe this and interact with it because its the cheap, easy way for somebody who developed into a masochist the way that I did. One day we will simply be beyond everything that I am. It still feels like a way out, however. Anything the mind and body attached to my essence could have experienced would be of equal value so long as the weight was the same (by whose standards we have no real way of being certain). I assume purely rationally that I would like to have lived a life where my values were that of a princess who made everybody feel fulfilled forever and fixed the world while respecting the vast unique nature of mankind or something of that nature, but the material I am working with is not so inspiring or cheery, and I am not creative. Its good for helping other pathetic people, though. I simply do not know how to do better, and my willingness to learn still leads me here. Whether that is truly good or bad is irrelevant to something like me. My identity as a whole is created as a tool is.

Obviously or not so obviously, there is something more than everything, and something more than that endlessly. And/or things "outside" of it by some sense we are likely incapable of.

I would not want to know an ideal destination, especially as a helpless human. A claim to know it would make you aware of something beyond everythingness in a way perverted from anything mankind will ever be to the point where it would be meaningless, and feels horrifically blinding to think about.
Who we are is trapped by our identity and actions as humans. When I am no longer human I suppose I would wish to know ideal 'destinations', but even that goes by my logic I've learned from looking at other human-defined living organisms.
It makes me happy to imagine taking a chance that whatever else it is that I am a part of 'knows' the 'ideal destination', in its own way by its own 'senses'. Endlessly outside.

I feel a deep, pervasive need through everything I will ever be or have ever been to stop being humans as a means to "solve" or return to a state that is more authentic by the eyes of something greater, which I am. Its a brand of hopelessness I hope everybody I can love will find as disgusting wasteful noise in its totality. Its fervor will remain regardless, and I will remain stuck and incompetent like I truly want by some sick desire deep within myself.

Your words are a deep and raw exploration of the human condition, a reflection that intertwines logic and personal introspection. I'm struck by how you perceive suffering—not as a mere burden to bear, but as a tool you've chosen to use to interact with the world. You describe it as a practical and direct means, something you've accepted and made your own, almost like a system that works because it's functional, not because it's right or wrong.

Your idea of 'not being human' as a way to return to a more authentic state makes me reflect. I can't help but wonder: do you see being human as a deviation from the 'truth' of our essence? Or do you believe that this very limitation is what defines our existence, making any search for a 'return' futile?

Your thoughts on the ideal destination are equally intriguing. The idea that you wouldn't want to know it, because being human limits you to a distorted understanding, is fascinating in its denial. I wonder if, by rejecting the knowledge of an ideal destination, you're in some way affirming that the only possible meaning is the one we create ourselves, here and now.

Finally, your desire to stop being human to 'resolve' or return to something more authentic leaves me with a question: do you believe that this desire is, in itself, a search for freedom, or is it just another constraint—a condemnation that keeps us trapped in our own human nature? Perhaps the fervor you describe, however painful, is part of what defines you and drives you to search, even without a definitive solution.

 

[restless111]

I would make sure my mom got that abortion

 

[Permanoir]

I would like to be reborn but this time not intersex

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I will Never want to live another minute in any kind of life /existence/ consciousness ever . After Death is non-existence forever and that is what I want to stop existing and never exist again

I hate any pleasurable addiction the most because they distract me and keep me here to fall for the worst torture

 

[lawlietsph]

Honestly, I don't want anything anymore. To be reborn? Absolutely not. Never.
If there is such a thing as complete non-existence, that is what I crave. Everything hurts way too much now and I don't even wish to be different, or prettier, wealthier, etc... There is just no point. I wish to disappear, my soul is so broken it hurts so much

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

I can, in good consciousness, wish for a completely different life. I would like my life with some changes, though some of them would be major. I wouldn't want to change too much as I have an amazing girlfriend who, if too much was changed. I likely would never meet or connect with. If I could choose not to have mental issues, I would change that in a heartbeat. I wanna be normal

 

[human909]

I would choose not to reborn since life is always pain for me.

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

I didn't see this and thought you replied to one person hehe. I loved your response to @whalesounds so I didn't know you'd respond to me ((:

You have such amazing in depth characteristic of explanations what you are describing and immersing yourself into. So unique!! :D

And thank you, thank you
And good question… I think in a way, perhaps both? I questioned on another discussion (why our existence exist on Offtopic) if this world is a simulation or an idea of us existing, but @Forever Sleep 's depiction was just so perfect despite thinking it was an analogy of what it could be that I felt perhaps it was true, but this world is obviously hell, so perhaps I want to exactly find what happiness is? Whether we were just existing at one point and time, feels too true like with God and Jesus being real…

So, it must be some form of escape for me :>

Also… one that isn't this one, and it being similar to this but more happier and full of actual love and the meaning of what life is, you know, the pleasures of finding true peace and love, what we find reassurance and fulfillment in, but most never have, pain, suffering, aging, degrading…

And same here and why I believed God was treat at one point to leave it to him, but I think it doesn't matter? Perhaps it's all in the illusion that we place ourselves in to find what we loose in ourselves because aren't people reactions of matter too? I don't think people truly loose themselves, and if it does, it's because there was a good reason for it to.

Thank you so much for responding and forgive me, I was so numb throughout the day

What you've shared is powerful and imbued with a depth that makes one reflect. I'm struck by how you perceive pain not just as a burden, but as a necessary force, almost an inevitable companion in your artistic and human journey. The desire to have acted with more drive and less complacency feels almost like a cry of rebellion against the passivity that, paradoxically, seems intertwined with your creativity.

What resonated with me most is your idea of not wanting to be reborn or to have never existed at all. I wonder: do you think this essence you speak of, the one that has experienced pain and regrets, is something you would have wanted to transform, or do you accept it as inevitable? And if suffering is truly essential to creating something authentic, do you believe that your desire to be reborn without pain could still preserve your artistic identity?

Your perspective is deeply touching, and I wonder how many of us share this conflicting relationship between pain, the desire for change, and the fear of losing that part of ourselves that has made it meaningful.

Your message is intriguing, almost enigmatic. The idea of 'not being born' and 'returning far away to the sender' feels like an invitation to view existence as something transient, a temporary detour from the place of true belonging. Your perspective on the universe and the thought of 'departing' for another realm has an almost poetic quality.

I wonder: do you see this transition as a desire for escape or as an inevitable return to a more authentic state? And if we could truly choose to leave for another universe, what would your ideal destination be? The idea of leaving this universe behind is fascinating, but I wonder if it truly means separating from who we are, or if it's a way to find a different version of ourselves.

 

[Boots2Scoots]

I'd change a lot. My life has been full of hardships and stupid mistakes. Some of which made me a better person. The others ruined me and led me here. If I could just change the past year or so.... it'd all be different.

 

[bgd2022]

I'd make mine a short story

 

[fuewybfunsfoiceoi]

No no ! I'd like to stay down, choosing the laziest option of course

 

[disjuj]

I wish that I could change two specific things that have insanely impacted my health and self perception, both of which I couldn't really control.

 

[bananaolympus]

I would choose a different life to see humanity progress in all fields