Discussion If you could go back in time what would you change?

[Suicide]

Would you just kill yourself? Would you undo some life-changing mistake?
Would you do nothing and go down the same path only to end up here again, reading threads on ss?

 

[Mr2005]

I'd do a computer course in 2005. Firstly because of how the worlds gone and secondly because my friend who asked me to has since passed away. I was going to get a computer the previous year but it didn't happen so doing that course was really my second and last chance. Instead I lived in lockdown for six years without one and only saw my friend again once or twice. The double whammy of him dying followed by this pandemic has been tough to swallow. It just gets worse over time. I will always be sorry it was him not me and will never be able to recover from this point forward

 

[Deadlyroses]

I'd stop my parents from meeting

 

[SheJumped]

Right some wrongs, but ultimately remain on course to catch the bus.

 

[butterflycollector]

i dont think theres anything i could really change because i never made the big mistakes as a kid that messed my life up. it was the fault of parents and adults who couldnt make good decisions and it still happens to this day. all i could change in my life are personal things i regret saying or doing, unrelated to anything else.

 

[LifeQuitter2018]

[Removed]

Yeah same for me. That one action that grants infinite return.

 

[OnlyTheWind]

I would tell the girl I had a crush on that I like her. I would also never touch pornography.

 

[L0serinTown]

I would study hard in college and not let 4 years go to waste. And socialize. And make friends. And not spend the entirety of my childhood watching TV.

 

[OpheliasFlowers]

Well stated. I feel like this too.

 

[Serio]

I would of never told anyone irl that I was mentally struggling (Bc atleast in my situation ppl don't wanna b friends with ppl that are struggling)
and I also would have tried harder to help my cousin (they were groomed long story)

 

[Seiba]

Not miss thirty days of school in fifth and sixth. That would allow me to avoid the homeschooling that followed. If that happened I would probably have normie opinions on suicide but I doubt my emotional well being would end up this way.

 

[Midgardsorm]

I would not abuse some medications that might have been the cause of my breathlessness condition.
I would not have wasted my entire life in a bachelor degree that I don't like it.
I would not have left my first job that ultimately worsened my ocd.
I would have followed my instincts instead of listening to people that I thought that wanted the best for me, but were actually just ignoring my pain.
I would work hard to be a better person and not a living failure.

Or maybe I would just carry on with my first ctb attempt years ago and get over with it, things just got worse.

 

[Nemy]

Change the way I put others before myself. I let them get under my skin and I still can't make peace with it.

I wish I had understood that my own thoughts/feelings are just as valuable as anybody elses. And that power dynamics were a way of abuse that I grew up thinking was normal, were actually used to manipulate me.

In short, I would change how naive and trusting I was. I would not give others as many chances as I have, knowing now the lasting damage it has left me with.

 

[Versailles]

It would avoid the negligence of the midwife who cared for my mother when I was born, which caused me brain damage

 

[Dear Agony]

Tell my parents I thought I was autistic sooner, move schools and lose weight + start shaving sooner.

 

[Yolkeating:)]

I'd CTB sooner ending the struggle before

 

[Winklemate]

If I was forcibly pulled back in time I would definitely do things differently, if only because it would be boring/depressing to just re-live experiences I've already had for a second time. But if they choice is up to me, I just wouldn't go back in time. My desire to ctb has little to do with what's happened in my life and more to do with who I fundamentally am as a person and how life functions as a societal construct in general.

At most, maybe I'd go back a year and be more careful with my saved up money so I could afford a better ctb, but that's it.

 

[Sra_TZ]

If I could go back in time, I'd probably prevent my birth. And if that wasn't possible, then I'd just make sure young me succeeded in her ctb attempt. All this pain has gone on for way too long.
~S

 

[auror.]

I'd never be born. I don't think changing any one event is going to have a much of an impact on my life. There are too many things that have happened that if one of them didn't, the others would still fuck me up just fine.

 

[coffee]

I would have focused on making money when younger. At 42 years old I consider wealth even more important and in my case could improve my life substantially.

 

[deadverysoon]

yes - i would have stabbed my mom ay night when i was 7. and i would never have started to work in the last company. they really gave me the "headshot" - they did research about my health and all my private things and used that against me.
and i would avoid people who where hurt by me. BEFORE i hurt them of course.

 

[Lmd]

I'll try to become a vampire in a past century and live with my knowledge in useless things. If I manage to live until the XX century I'll try to find people I currently know and change their fates to prevent their bad fortune.

 

[deadverysoon]

I would of never told anyone irl that I was mentally struggling (Bc atleast in my situation ppl don't wanna b friends with ppl that are struggling)
and I also would have tried harder to help my cousin (they were groomed long story)

i know that - it will be used against you. fuck that.

 

[Makko]

How far back are we allowed to go?

Spoiler: timeline

 

[ClownMe]

The only thing I actually would have changed would be that I would have killed myself in my teenage years and saved myself some serious suffering.

 

[NeverReallyHere]

I dunno, if I could only change one thing I don't think it would make much difference; I believe that most of the time the causes of the unhappiness and distress in our lives is a number of cumulative things, rather than a single big one. However, I do have fantasies sometimes of going back to when I was a kid and acting as a kind of surrogate dad or big brother to my younger self, to give him some help and guidance and let him know he's not alone and someone has his back.

 

[Bigpink]

I was thinking about this last night/early this morning, wish I'd never been born

 

[logan]

I have often thought about that ...

I would only have to correct a few mistakes in the last 5 years - then everything would probably be fine now.

The sad thing is that I myself am responsible for the current situation and I could have prevented all this.

 

[NasiGoreng]

I would have called the police or something when I were 6, and tried to end up in foster care or live with my grandmother. My life could have been very different if I didn't have to be around my mother.

 

[rosie93]

Aghhhhh I wanted to ask you the same question! So funny! ;D

First, I wish my parents never met or I was never born.

Second, I wish I could deal better with stress when I was a child and a teenager.

Third, I wish I had no eating disorder.

Next, I wish I got help when I was 14 and I started to avoid going to school.

Moreover, I wish I got help when I was 16 and realized sth is wrong with me and told my mum to help me find a psychologist.

Furthermore, I wish I started my psychotherapy when I was 18 (I could but I thought I can help myself on my own) or last year at least.

Finally, I wish I could change but it's not possible. I'm a bad person and it's funny cause all my life all I ever wanted was to be a good person and to help others. I thought I have changed but it was just alcohol that helped me numb my feelings and forget about my disorders.

All in all, there's this song... 'If I could turn back time...' (I think me and Cher have the same disorder).