i want to underline that you should blame capitalism for this (being born and dying into poverty). not to get into politics, but this monstrosity of a system basically hates mentally ill people, because they are not seen as valuable as other workers. thats why we have to pay for therapists that most of the time advice us to get better, get a job, be productive in society. this should be about community and integration, not becoming a suitable slave. sure, jobs that you love can get you to have a purpose, but are those jobs accessible? do they pay good? well, most likely, no, because being a corpo slave benefits the capital better than pottery, lets say. everything has to be profitable, if its not, then its useless, even when people like it and need it.
now that my rant is over, ive also been completely destroyed in april. in my was my first botched attempt and now im planning my second one, and hopefully my last one. indeed, for me too, it has only gotten worse and worse since april, even though i tried and i tried and i fought to get better, go to therapy, go out, get a new job, make new friends. nothing worked, i lost two jobs, i feel more isolated and alienated then ever. i do not belong in this horrendous place.
