That's my whole point: why do we have this obsessionn with finding blame, especially judging others? What if things just are and just happen? Should be morally blame weather patterns for creating hurricanes?
This turned into an essay... sorry!
As I see it, a couple of reasons. One is safety I suppose. If a plane crashes, we don't just go- 'Oh, what a shame.' We try to figure out why. Was it pilot error? But then- what confused them to make that error? Was it mechanical or, a design flaw? Will it affect other planes and, other people? How can we prevent this happening again?
If it's found to be gross negligence by a person or company- they get named, shamed and punished in some way often... in theory anyway.
Look at the Boeing Max crashes. They altered their planes to save fuel but be horribly un-aerodynamic. Snuck in an automated computer system to compensate. Didn't fully inform the pilots. Had the system (MCAS) run off a single sensor. Two crashes later and 346 people dead.
What's the proper way to deal with something like that? Just accept it as bad luck? Clearly not- the reason needs to be discovered in order to prevent more deaths. Even when we have a mechanical culprit- is that enough? Shouldn't we look at the kind of work culture that allows this kind of shit to happen?
That's where personality disorders come into play- possibly. Are we happy with people who put profit over safety being in control of an industry that is responsible for millions of our lives? Surely, the very act of putting themeselves and shareholders portfolios over the lives of their passengers and employees suggests an amount of sociopathy?
As it is, the CEO at the time did eventually leave, with a multi million pound bonus, shares etc. Probably far more than the individuals got in compensation for their family members dieing. But- there we go- the world's f*cked up.
There have been other cases sort of similar though. The Smiler crash at Alton Towers was found to be human error. But, they also blamed the company itself. The culture there pushing mechanics to keep rides open again pushed safety towards the back. Grenfell Tower is another one (I mostly know UK examples.) But, there are loads- Chernobyl.
They aren't freak accidents like a hurricane! They happen because very often in the case of accidents, companies knowingly put profits over safety. Companies are made up of people. People are to blame when they knowingly break safety regulations.
It's important to identify these patterns and people because they put us all at risk. As to whether we should just accept them as we would a bad storm I mean- would you? If a loved one of yours died painfully because a company cut corners and knowingly released an unsafe product, would you be ok with that? Wouldn't you want to know if someone was to blame? If you lost a limb to a faulty product, wouldn't you want it taken off the shelves so that other people don't get hurt? Wouldn't you want to know how it ended up being sold to you?
It's not so massively different with people. Initially, when young teenage girls (mainly) reported to police that a guy had compromising photographs of them and was now blackmailing them for more, they weren't taken seriously. Guys weren't taken seriously when they went to their doctors with anoerexia. Coercive control wasn't really acknowledged as a form of abuse in domestic violence cases. Sexual harrassment in the workplace had gone on rife it seems. Do we just let these things continue? We shouldn't- because, people are suffering and, more are at risk.
Generally speaking, brave people come forward to complain about a perpetraitor and/ or the system that was there to protect them, that failed. Again though- we shouldn't leave it at that. Why were those girls/ women being ignored? Was it a culture that swept stuff like that under the carpet? Why weren't guys being given the same support women were with anoerexia? (One guy said, they gave him a leaflet which in part described that menstruation stopping can be a symptom!) We need to challenge stereotypes and the way we interact with one another when it isn't doing a good enough job.
While it might seem extreme, villainizing people shows the public's extreme reaction to something. Jimmy Saville is widely regarded as a monster now. If we'd just been indifferent towards his crimes, it would have sent a clear signal to those wanting to act in a similar way that they'll likely get away with it! By not examining the workplaces as to how and why they let this happen, it lets them off the hook too. The hope is- by exposing these things. By provoking public disgust, it holds people accountable. Who wants their family members to be sexually assaulted while in hospital or, even at the morgue? Wouldn't you prefer to be protected from people like that?
Villainizing them may seem cruel and it certainly is if we're wrong about them. But, it tends to ensure we take their threat seriously. And some of them are a very real threat.
People reporting widely on coercive control in relationships has raised more awareness of it. That's important because it doesn't present like a black eye and a few fractured ribs. It's far more insiduous. I personally believe it can give someone strength to read about things like gas lighting, triangulation and, narcissism in general. Because, it may make them suspect that that is what they're going through.
It was such a weird relief for me to finally learn about narcissism because, all of the person's behaviour I struggled with was described. My diagnosis of them may not even be accurate of course but, it made me feel validated. There was at least some form of reason for it now. At the time, I actually considered that I may have slept walked and done all these things they were accusing me of! They can absolutely make you feel like the crazy one. I dread to think what they're like in romantic relationships. (Not all people with NPD. Just the ones who demonstrate all the symptoms.)
More importantly though, by raising awareness, it means people can be aware of red flags early on with someone. They might just save themselves a lot of pain if they get out in time. It could even save their life. The most extreme cases kill their partners!
It's like any 'dangerous' animal really. Wouldn't you prefer to be taught not to try petting a tarantula before it bit you?
Of course, the problem for people with some personality disorders is that they can feel villainized. Which is really unfortunate if they aren't behaving in those ways.
As to why we villainize though. I think you almost need to be on the receiving end to understand. If you could pinpoint your ideation to the actions of an individual. If you felt like your time with them had ruined your life. Destroyed your confidence. Destroyed your trust in others. Made you fearful and unhappy, do you think you could still view them so objectively? While they go on to live seemingly care free.
We absolutely do need to view 'them' as people of course. Very possibly victims themselves. They deserve help too, just as much as anyone else. However, I tend to go with: 'A dog that bites is a dog that bites' ultimately. If you are likely to be on the receiving end, you may not feel quite so sympathetic! While we shouldn't just label them as bad publicly, we may make a mental note to steer clear and/ or keep our loved ones clear of them.
In general though, we call someone a 'monster' because we don't want to believe we are like them in any way. It can be safer to hope they are an anomoly. I doubt we'll ever agree that they aren't at least in part to blame though.
I've taken far far too many words to say that we villainize for practical purposes. It makes us all aware of a threat. It prompts us to try and curb their behaviour and it warns others who want to behave as they have- that it won't be tolerated. So- even if you're right. Even if say a paedophile is incapable of not raping a child- society warns that they will be villified and hated if they do. Is that so bad if it puts them off doing it?
