Venting If suicide is actually something easy to accomplish would you had left this existence a long time ago?

[FuneralCry]

I know I would had, if suicide is as straightforward as just never choosing to wake again I know I would have chosen to leave as soon as I became aware, wanting to die is all that feels right to me.
The eternity of non-existence will always be preferable to this decaying, harmful existence that just leads to suffering and loss but for me the problem lies in how it's so unnecessarily difficult to cease existing on our own terms.
It's just something so disgusting and criminal how we were burdened with the ability to exist without a way to instantly find true peace from the horrific mistake that is existence.

For me all the methods are either inaccessible or risky, it will always be inhumane how people have to struggle so much to finally be free. I feel like if one calls suicide easy they are either ignorant or lying as suicide is anything but, it would be so relieving and prevent so much unnecessary suffering if suicide actually is straightforward.

 

[sserafim]

I know I would had, if suicide is as straightforward as just never choosing to wake again I know I would have chosen to leave as soon as I became aware, wanting to die is all that feels right to me.
The eternity of non-existence will always be preferable to this decaying, harmful existence that just leads to suffering and loss but for me the problem lies in how it's so unnecessarily difficult to cease existing on our own terms.
It's just something so disgusting and criminal how we were burdened with the ability to exist without a way to instantly find true peace from the horrific mistake that is existence.

For me all the methods are either inaccessible or risky, it will always be inhumane how people have to struggle so much to finally be free. I feel like if one calls suicide easy they are either ignorant or lying as suicide is anything but, it would be so relieving and prevent so much unnecessary suffering if suicide actually is straightforward.

Yeah same, I would've ctb a long time ago. I hate how people restrict methods and actively make it hard for us to leave this world. I hate how we have to resort to violent methods without even a chance of guaranteed success. I wish ctb was more accessible and acceptable in our society

None of us even chose to exist in the first place, and I hate how people prevent us from having a way out.

 

[jbear824]

If it was an intrinsic human right and was provided, free of charge, peacefully and painlessly, to any human capable of understanding what it means to die, I would have left this world when I was 7.

I have painfully existed for a further 26 years. And it looks like I have more suffering ahead of me. Woohoo. Lol

 

[cscott]

YES no fucking doubt about it!!

saying that tho when illusions still plague u and u think just even 1% u can make it it keeps you so maybe I wouldn't of long time ago being under them.. but for sure I think this was always the destiny & I still would have one year ago for sure easy! Soon as I really fell into the void to never return

 

[SMmetalhead36]

I sure would have. It would have prevented all the hell I had to endure in life.

 

[ThisUnrest]

Yes, definitely. The amount of shaming against autonomy is terrible. Ctb is an extremely difficult thing to do and yet most people will thoughtlessly say It's the easy way out. Hardly.

 

[Lynx.]

Yeah - no point in hanging around.

None of the "pleasures" of life can even compensate for the suffering of being a conscious living thing - the potential scenarios for torment and anguish are always present, be it applied to myself or onto others around me.

We are like puppets dancing pointlessly - thinking that there is a prize after all of this - that there is something to gain.

In the end it depends on the perspective of each other, but to me life is a painful and unsolicited gift, and sadly the store it has been brought from doesn't accept refunds. Not only that, the store has closed down and won't even accept complaints about the product that was imposed on me...

If there was a painless method such as the one you described, ie, sleeping and never waking up, I'd take it, perhaps with dread at first, knowing that I'll never wake up again, but I'd carry on with that, since it would be preferable to this.

I don't want to have a consciousness, honestly. I'd enjoy myself if I was a rock...

 

[Seered Doom]

I would've been dead at 14

 

[Darkover]

yes at 18 years old ,19 years ago

 

[Lookoutbelow]

Yep.

 

[R_N]

I can think of times when I really wanted out but it was hard for me to accomplish it, so yeah.

I would have done it. I wouldn't like the reasons I did it for as current me tho.

But dying is dying I guess.

 

[conveniently_dead]

I'd definitely be gone. Failed a partial hanging attempt today (probably my 5th time) and I didn't stop because I wanted to live. I stopped because of the physical pain

 

[NocturnILL]

Without a doubt or hesitation!

It's one of the reasons it irks me when judgmental people say CTB is "the easy way out".

 

[S like suicide]

Absolutly yes.
I would have ctbed more than years ago.

 

[carac]

Yes and even though I enjoy life now to some extent I wouldn't have regretted it

 

[AllCatsAreGrey]

Yes

 

[Iamtired]

I tried at 11. Woke up. Too bad.

 

[sserafim]

Yeah - no point in hanging around.

None of the "pleasures" of life can even compensate for the suffering of being a conscious living thing - the potential scenarios for torment and anguish are always present, be it applied to myself or onto others around me.

We are like puppets dancing pointlessly - thinking that there is a prize after all of this - that there is something to gain.

In the end it depends on the perspective of each other, but to me life is a painful and unsolicited gift, and sadly the store it has been brought from doesn't accept refunds. Not only that, the store has closed down and won't even accept complaints about the product that was imposed on me...

If there was a painless method such as the one you described, ie, sleeping and never waking up, I'd take it, perhaps with dread at first, knowing that I'll never wake up again, but I'd carry on with that, since it would be preferable to this.

I don't want to have a consciousness, honestly. I'd enjoy myself if I was a rock...

Life isn't even a gift, it's a curse. I was further cursed with neurodivergence and I hate the fact that I was forced into existence. I wish I could've had a choice whether to exist or not. I wish I never existed at all and I hate the fact that I was given life.

 

[haibane]

For sure, life would be so much peaceful if everyone could die when they want

 

[Kundalini Guy]

I would be dead by now

 

[ClownWorld2023]

Of course.

The only reason I didn't was because I didn't have access to the information in the past.
And that, thanks to heavy censorship.

Nothing feels relieving and supportive like being bombarded with useless suicide hotlines!

 

[sserafim]

The thing I hate the most is that peaceful, guaranteed methods are restricted and people have to resort to methods that might leave them with permanent damage if they fail.

I've wanted to ctb ever since I was a teenager, but I never got around to it because of the risk of failure. If you failed an attempt and ended up with permanent damage, you would be even worse off. Why can't society just make VAS more accessible…I don't understand. I haven't attempted yet bc the risk of failure makes me too scared to even try.

For sure, life would be so much peaceful if everyone could die when they want

Literally

 

[ludoZici]

In a heartbeat.

 

[ultrasharpy123456]

Yes. I would have and should have died a long time ago. And this question used to be my reality because I actually had enough money to buy a shotgun once and I blew it.

 

[cartdog]

I feel so icky when I hear people describe suicide as something along the lines of "the easy way out".
If it were easy, accessible and less taboo, I think I wouldn't have so many attempts under my belt, just one peaceful exit when I was ready.. After my last failed attempt in 2020, I decided that I wasn't going to catch the bus until I had pre-need funeral arrangements paid for. I'm estranged from family and so I don't want them to have any say whatsoever in my final disposition or custody of my remains in any way. I also do not want the financial burden of arrangements to fall onto my close friends or home-mates.

So, if suicide was actually easy to accomplish, I think I would have had an easier time making my final arrangements and already be at peace.

 

[Lynx.]

Life isn't even a gift, it's a curse. I was further cursed with neurodivergence and I hate the fact that I was forced into existence. I wish I could've had a choice whether to exist or not. I wish I never existed at all and I hate the fact that I was given life.

I agree - a gifted curse, I'd say - since as the same way that happens with most gifts, you don't have any way to refuse it.

I merely used the word gift for the silly wordplay with the store thing, ahaha.

 

[Lys_C15H25N3O_d3]

its not easy. the idea that "it can be done peacefully" neither, Peace i think, is an internal struggle , once you're "okay" with . It does not matter how you go. Felt sad for people i'd never seen "coming and going" in a heartbeat.

What no one wants is failure, even sn is making seem too complicated "doing it wrong" can lead to irreversible damage and fast-forward being dumped in the mental hospital for homeless loners, im not even 33. Had been "sick" before. It looks a damn difficult chore, complex.. While some might say "you were born lucky, a loaded gun jammed on your face." or "this is a miracle, we were shutting down life-support before you had no vital signs, we kept you coma for a month, (haha had they killed any patients by excessive amounts of opiod administration?


Naw man its not fun, its not "a miracle". It's a huge ? question mark. accompanied by the fear of failing. At this rate if 'm still here with all this non-sense i left written around. i'll jump off a tall building,. then tell me, what "miracle" is going to prevent me this time? (MAYBE ITS A GOOD IDEA TO NOT DOUBT)


"Oh see? your time hasn't come yet!" =\ this week will be the best week ever, or the worst, who cares? as long as its the last

I agree - a gifted curse, I'd say - since as the same way that happens with most gifts, you don't have any way to refuse it.

I merely used the word gift for the silly wordplay with the store thing, ahaha.

Gift in german = Poison

=D

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

I wouldn't have even lived to see the internet.

 

[Death is my goal]

for sure

 

[Lynx.]

Gift in german = Poison

=D

Sounds awfully accurate, ahaha.