If I do catch the virus

[BabyYoda]

...then I'll be the first patient to refuse treatment.

For privacy reasons, I will not be stating where I live. There's a COVID case near my area and since I'm starting to go back to being suicidal again, then getting the virus would be a sign that I need to go.

I can't see myself having a good life in the future. I mean, look at this goddamn virus shit. And I'm fucking sick of waiting for a relationship or a best friend. Recovery seems to be impossible. Nothing can help me for now. I'm really sick of feeling alone in this world and I hardly have any purpose to anyone. I did not consent to being born so if I have no use to anybody then why even live? Nonexistence is much better than trying to achieve the life that I can't achieve.

Man do I really want to live. But apparently life isn't favoring me. I really wish that I had SOMEONE who would love me the way I wanted them to love me. SOMEONE OTHER THAN MYSELF. SELF FUCKING LOVE IS AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT THING AND IT'S ONLY A WEAK BANDAGE TO THIS ISSUE.

Like what the hell is wrong with me that makes people hesitant to love me?

I know, I haven't lived long enough. But it's better to end things if nothing goes well.

Anyways, I don't know if I should do my best to contract the virus. I want to live but I don't want to live. Simple things such as putting alcohol on my hands drives me into deep thinking mode. This wouldn't happen if I had a best friend or significant other to help me live.

Once I test positive for the virus I WILL NOT TRY TO RECOVER. Problem is that the virus targets the elderly/people whose immune system is already weak. But I still want that virus. Inhale, inhale, inhale.

I am so, so SO SICK AND TIRED of being "strong". Like what the hell even heroes need to rest. DO YOU EVEN WATCH MY HERO ACADEMIA?!

I hope I can convince the doctors that treating me would be a waste of resources. Hope they understand.

 

[Mr2005]

Well I understand. I don't want to die but I'm finding it so impossible to live that if I got the virus I'd probably just accept my fate. It's easiest, I don't even have to do anything. I'm so unhealthy I might not even know I have it and I hardly see anyone anyway.

 

[Jean4]

Unless you are elderly or have major medical illnesses, I hate to tell you. If you refuse treatment (where there is none besides normal flu medication to help with symptoms in any flu), you would be miserable and get over it like any flu. It's no big deal if you are healthy.

Well I understand. I don't want to die but I'm finding it so impossible to live that if I got the virus I'd probably just accept my fate. It's easiest, I don't even have to do anything. I'm so unhealthy I might not even know I have it and I hardly see anyone anyway.

Unless you have major lung problems or major medical conditions, chances are nothing will happen. ;)

 

[seafarer]

Or maybe take lots of immunosuppressant tablets to make you vulnerable. But that would ofcourse be crazy. I only say because I take those tablets myself so I have to be really careful around sick people and make sure I get flu shots etc.

 

[Bigmike1583]

Or maybe take lots of immunosuppressant tablets to make you vulnerable. But that would ofcourse be crazy. I only say because I take those tablets myself so I have to be really careful around sick people and make sure I get flu shots etc.

What is the name of them? I've been looking but can't find anything on them.