Help If I ctb with sn outside I am am afraid I will see my abuser which would get in the way of ctb

[HopefulSleep]

Swb didn't work so I will ctb with sn and I thougt about going to an abandoned building but if I do it at day I am afraid that I will see my abuser and he will beat me up or other things happen that would alert police and I am afraid that they will find the sn and send me to psych ward or that other bad things happen.
Doing at night is also problematic, my sister sleeps at circa 4am but I can't know if she is actually sleeping and my mother often wakes up at night and they could hear me open the door and then they would question me where I go.
I don't know what I should do.

 

[DeadPool360]

Do you really have to ctb though like are you 100% sure you can't get help from your family fight back or some other solution idk what is your situation but I think you should consider if there is another way cause after you ctb there is no way back you should try every possible solution then if they don't work then at that moment you can consider to ctb
By the way that abuser if I had the power I would have hit him but I don't think you live in egypt for me to be avaliable to help you

 

[HopefulSleep]

Do you really have to ctb though like are you 100%

Yes I am 100% sure, not only the continuing abuse but the past trauma huts me much, I don't want to live with it.

you can't get help from your family fight back

My family also hurts me mentally and I can't fight back the abuser is stronger if he finds me and police is useless.

I think you should consider if there is another way cause after you ctb there is no way back you should try every possible solution then if they don't work then at that moment you can consider to ctb

I tried therapy in the past but didn't help.

 

[DeadPool360]

Well there is a hard solution for all of that wich is better than to ctb just escape run away go somewhere far find a job rent a place or even live in your car if you have one wanna try it ? It's too hard like you will really live so some hard things but after that you can live a normal life with no abuse and no people to hurt you heck maybe you will find new people who are good and caring so again do you think you can try that or you want the easy way out ?
I just want you to consider that if you ctb there is no way back you can't fix it or do anything about it

 

[HopefulSleep]

Well there is a hard solution for all of that wich is better than to ctb

How would anything be better than eternel sleep?

just escape run away go somewhere far

I don't want to be homeless.

find a job rent a place

I don't have a job and I dropped out of school.

or even live in your car

Doesn't seem like a fun life either.

It's too hard like you will really live so some hard things but after that you can live a normal life with no abuse and no people to hurt you

The trauma and memories and other problems will still be in me.

heck maybe you will find new people who are good and caring

Good fealings are much weaker than negative ones generelly.

do you think you can try that or you want the easy way out ?

I want the best solution, suicide.

I just want you to consider that if you ctb there is no way back you can't fix it or do anything about it

Death is the only solution to my mental state.

 

[DeadPool360]

Fine I tried to avoid telling you an answer if its really hopeless and you really can't get help and don't want to do the hard solution then fine you can try either doing it while buying some groceries for the family at night (volunteer act like you wanna be a good child) or just go as far away as you can while hiding from your abuser one other solution but will need for you to run a lot is for you to go suddenly at night even if they are awake and do it I really wish you don't but if that's your choice and there is really no other way to help I can t think of any other thing to say except
I hope you never regret your decision and meet a happy ending

 

[HopefulSleep]

try either doing it while buying some groceries for the family at night (volunteer act like you wanna be a good child)

Why should anyone buy groceries at night?
Would be suspicious I think.

or just go as far away as you can while hiding from your abuser

He lives not far away from me in the same town and he can go everywhere and sometimes actively searches for me I don't know when he snaps.

one other solution but will need for you to run a lot is for you to go suddenly at night even if they are awake and do it

Couldn't they just follow me or call the police then?

I really wish you don't but if that's your choice and there is really no other way to help I can t think of any other thing to say except
I hope you never regret your decision and meet a happy ending

I wish I was happy.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds like a difficult situation to be trapped in, I hate how it isn't more straightforward to finally leave and it's so horrible how humans create so much suffering in this world. But anyway I hope that you eventually find the freedom you are searching for.

 

[HopefulSleep]

That sounds like a difficult situation to be trapped in, I hate how it isn't more straightforward to finally leave and it's so horrible how humans create so much suffering in this world. But anyway I hope that you eventually find the freedom you are searching for.

I will do it in a small room on the roof of the house