Venting If I am in extreme agony for 100+ days with not a sliver of relief is that enough to justify suicide?

[MeowTheFlemishCat]

I've metaphysical contamination fucking OCD and it's not letting me be I'm honestly at the end of my rope
I didn't think humans could fucking SUFFER for 100+ days with not a SLIVER of relief but that's my life
Is that enough of a reason to fucking rope???

 

[Scattered-Soul]

I thought I knew everything there was to know about OCD but this is my first time hearing about that type of OCD, turns out I have it as well but had no idea that it had a specific name. Holy fuck, I know exactly how you're feeling and I'm so sorry. You haven't given that many details on why it's 100+ days and why there's not even a bit of relief but I'd say yes, 100% and I completely understand why you'd see CTB as your only option in that scenario, I feel in a similar way. I'd say that you'd be justified in committing suicide even if you weren't going through that but when it comes to such immense suffering, suicide is more than just understandable. I'm so sorry you're going through that, I know how hard it is

 

[Death is my goal]

every person is different, what do you think? if you do think it's enough for you then it is.

 

[MeowTheFlemishCat]

I thought I knew everything there was to know about OCD but this is my first time hearing about that type of OCD, turns out I have it as well but had no idea that it had a specific name. Holy fuck, I know exactly how you're feeling and I'm so sorry. You haven't given that many details on why it's 100+ days and why there's not even a bit of relief but I'd say yes, 100% and I completely understand why you'd see CTB as your only option in that scenario, I feel in a similar way. I'd say that you'd be justified in committing suicide even if you weren't going through that but when it comes to such immense suffering, suicide is more than just understandable. I'm so sorry you're going through that, I know how hard it is

I had a hook up the 11th of August 2023 with someon associated with the ward my mom stayed at. Previously, I had to do EVERYTHING to evade ANYTHING related to the ward even the name so having someone put their genitals and shti in my mouth and then later tell me they work there triggered it and I've gone through absolute hell with no fucking way out for the past 70+ days now but it was bad 650 days before and I've struggled with it for nearly a decade. I plan to CTB after my 25th birthday (Nov. 30). Nothing or no one will be able to help me which seems defeatist but I know my condition the best and this can't be overcome or washed off dying like this is beyond brutal

 

[Scattered-Soul]

I had a hook up the 11th of August 2023 with someon associated with the ward my mom stayed at. Previously, I had to do EVERYTHING to evade ANYTHING related to the ward even the name so having someone put their genitals and shti in my mouth and then later tell me they work there triggered it and I've gone through absolute hell with no fucking way out for the past 70+ days now but it was bad 650 days before and I've struggled with it for nearly a decade. I plan to CTB after my 25th birthday (Nov. 30). Nothing or no one will be able to help me which seems defeatist but I know my condition the best and this can't be overcome or washed off dying like this is beyond brutal

I'm sorry that I don't have a better response than this but believe me when I say I get your pain, that's terrible. I don't think believing that nothing could potentially help you is defeatist, unfortunately that's sometimes the case, not everything has a solution and I know it better than most people as someone who's in a similar position + has an irreversible chronic condition. I fully trust you when you say that you know yourself better than anybody else, I genuinely hope you're able to free yourself from the torture you're experiencing currently. My heart breaks that you even have to go through it in the first place.

 

[veylore]

In my opinion it's not. What the fuck is 100 more if you've already lasted 100 and have to ask others permission to keep going? You've only gone so long because you have some reason to, that's for you to explore.

Or you have a really strong survival instinct, your ancestors must've been wildin

 

[MeowTheFlemishCat]

In my opinion it's not. What the fuck is 100 more if you've already lasted 100 and have to ask others permission to keep going? You've only gone so long because you have some reason to, that's for you to explore.

Or you have a really strong survival instinct, your ancestors must've been wildin

I seem to be lethargic apathetic to my previous goals and as far as survival instinct goes, it's extremely strong, I also had an insane pain tolerance/threshold prior to my chronic OCD ~ cold showers && half marathons, etc

 

[Forever Sleep]

Most people here are pro-choice- so- what's important is what you think- not other people. People vary in the extreme here according to what they consider is justifiable to suicide. Some people have no restrictions whatsoever, others take a more pro-life stance. I'm guessing maybe you are putting this question more towards people who would oppose it? And trying to argue why they should change their minds? I imagine there will be fewer of those sorts of people here. I imagine most people here support the option of suicide for those in pain. I'm sorry for what you have gone through.

 

[FuneralCry]

That must be really horrible what you go through, it's such a hellish existence where people suffer so much.