If fear holds you here, will you ever be able to CTB?

[Z-A]

The doubts and thoughts that I will never be able to CTB really piss me off.

It's like i'm starting to accept being trapped in here.

 

[Oliver]

For now a few things are stopping me from ctb. I believe ones I get a little older and life starts to suck even more (lol) then I will be able to. I would be really surprised if I manage to stay alive much after the age of 40.

 

[Throwawayacc3]

I mean fear is expected but for me it's heavy over thinking. It basically stops you from even starting something sometimes. You effectively think of all the outcomes, options, situations all at the same time and you basically fry your brain.

 

[lnlybnny]

same... as much as i want to ctb i'm always procrastinating to elaborate my method, and i know i can't continue to live like this. i'm more scared to chicken out when the time comes than of death itself i guess. i really want to do it in the next coming months but even the thought of it brings me some sort of claustrophobia and anxiety, i feel so trapped. trapped by existence and trapped by the thought of having to plan my death soon... it's so overwhelming

 

[Z-A]

I mean fear is expected but for me it's heavy over thinking. It basically stops you from even starting something sometimes. You effectively think of all the outcomes, options, situations all at the same time and you basically fry your brain.

Aren't these thoughts coming out of fear? Like overthinking especially, you think of all the scenarios that you wish to not happen and stuff.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand feeling so trapped in this existence, I really wish there's the option to just fall into an dreamless, eternal sleep. What I'd personally fear is trying to die going wrong and leading to way worse suffering.

 

[Throwawayacc3]

Nah that's autism lol. Even me just typing this in thinking about finger flexion/extension, hydrogen popping between joints of bone, the colour contrast of this website, your profile pic has a hyphen between the letters, I better stop now. It's really bad but that's how this stupid brain operates.

Edit: even that above I said profile pic visualising it but I meant profile name. Just too much information intake.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I will suicide no matter what. nothing will hold me back

 

[theboy]

I know that someday I will. Only the YES stops me along with my loving family. I am bored of this

 

[druggedonsurvival]

I guess that's why some people try drugs / alcohol. Might be hard to access depending on where you live. I know people have reduced their fear of death through meditation and things like that, although I'm not sure whether it would be enough to undermine SI.

 

[cosmic-freedom]

I feel like the what-ifs hold me back,personally.What if I win?What if all my problems go away?What if all my dreams are fullfilled?Even if there is a one in a million chance,that one hope keeps the survival instinct going strong.Its worse if you have your loved ones around you.If I am going to die somewhere down the line,why not now?My life is insignificant in the entirety of this universe.Might as well kill myself and die on my terms.Thats my kind of cope.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Honestly, I'm starting to lose hope regarding me being able to kill myself and that's because I don't think there is really any suicide methods that I can do. I don't want to live, I never did. I don't enjoy life or anything that it offers. I just can't die as the obstacles for dying are too great for me. I'm irrationally wired to by survival instinct to stay alive and, well, it is irrational. Being dead early is rational to me as then I'd avoid having to pointlessly and cruelly suffer for years and years

 

[tbroken]

I'm ready and i'm not afraid. I'm just waiting for the right trigger, if it is today, tomorrow or 10 years, i really don't care.
Also how can you be scared with resources like SN and all the preparations? It is like drinking a shot or a cocktail.
Also youngsters of 18yo had it done in my country, how can i possibly fail or be afraid?