Venting Idk

[lostintheloop]

I am so confused.
I'm wrong. Not real
Many are suffering and will suffer because of me
I have to exit the system
Too many steps . Trying to take them but not quick enough
People are dying because of me.
I have messed up the entire world
You will all hate me
Have to make this stop
begging myself for courage to take final step.
Pls don't tell me to see Dr, go to hospital etc. as I'm getting professional help.
But they can't see the fate like I can.
It is all my fault.
It doesn't make sense.
I wish someone would just tell me what to do or kill me

 

[opheliaoveragain]

I don't and won't hate you, I promise you that.

I know you're doing the best you can to get help. I hear you big respect is due thee bc I know it's NOT easy.

you know we can't tell you what to do. but i'm here for you regardless.

 

[Darkover]

I was certain I was going to save the world but instead my grandiose delusions landed me in a psych ward.

 

[lostintheloop]

Woke up with strong urges to swallow objects already. If I can use the items suggested then I can protect family for now.
Feel like this is becoming another SH method for me now and I hate it.