Venting Idk what I should do next

[Itsme19]

My ctb plans fell through bc I couldn't get my doctor to prescribe me the right antiemetics for my SN plan. Spent new years sick and alone in my apartment bc I was so depressed and ashamed of myself that I couldn't face anyone. Now I feel like I'm fighting with my SI to make another plan. I have difficult exams I have to take soon and if I don't pass them then I'm gonna have to graduate late. I just feel so stuck in a purgatory of wanting to ctb but also feeling like maybe I should try and pass these exams. But even if I do pass, my future is extremely bleak, no job prospects, no passions, eventually will run out of money and have to be sent back to my shitty country, I just can't take it, my head hurts so much and I feel crazy and paralyzed

 

[ipmanwc0]

do you already have SN? maybe you should try a different method like monoxide or inert gas

 

[Itsme19]

do you already have SN? maybe you should try a different method like monoxide or inert gas

I do already have SN yes, seems like the best option and I've considered the other methods you've mentioned