meowzers3276
Student
- Mar 28, 2026
- 152
im considering reordering SN once i get all my rent paid & have some extra cash. i live with my boyfriend now so i will likely do it when hes working (3am-9am shifts) and out of the house to give me extra time. im just very tired of the way i feel, i feel so sad all the time, no matter where i am or what im doing, its destroying my life. ive lost interest in everything besides getting high and thinking about ctb LMAO. i tried to get integrated again into my psych care but i keep compulsively cancelling the appintments because i just dont feel bothered to go over it all. i feel bad too for the way i behave at times and im very lazy, realizing that especially now that we're moved in. i went to a cool rave, but i just thought about ctb. there's no thrill or charm of life that can convince me its worth it. i want to escape desperately. ive considered fsh and psh but as a ex heroin addict i'd rather die puking and convulsing because i'm used to that. i think i will pussy out if i try anything that isnt SN or firearm. i tried for the past month and a half or so to seek help and better myself, im currently high on cocaine and fake xanax, what is this? im just destroying myself until i die. i want to go away so i stop hurting others
