Venting Idek where to post anymore

[pleasexbexover]

I've never been so depressed and felt so alone and... out of place. Never had so much trouble finding words. Never had so much trouble relating to others

I'm tired of hurting (physically and emotionally), im tired of crying, im tired of writing and reading the same words over again

I'd give everything I own to either go back to the past or have everything end in an instant

 

[NihilDoll]

To spare you the usual platitudes, whatever it is, time travel or the bus ride home, i wish you all the best!

 

[honestmind]

Feeling similarly. Wish there was a magic wand that could makes everything better. Since there's not I guess I need to CTB so that I don't live another day of this. Are you planning on CTB?

 

[pleasexbexover]

Feeling similarly. Wish there was a magic wand that could makes everything better. Since there's not I guess I need to CTB so that I don't live another day of this. Are you planning on CTB?

I don't have a plan for anything in my life
I've had ideas and tried to start planning in the past but I always wind up thinking I can power through and there will always be some kind of hope but the more time that passes the less I believe

 

[honestmind]

I see. I'm sorry you're losing hope. So am I. There's still a part of me that hopes to be "saved" by something but knows that that won't happen.

 

[pleasexbexover]

I see. I'm sorry you're losing hope. So am I. There's still a part of me that hopes to be "saved" by something but knows that that won't happen.

Me too
But the days just keep going by
And it's like
ever since I discovered what suicide actually was when I first started having that tearing feeling in my chest (when I was 8) I've always been conflicted with wanting to stop all the pain forever and prevent any more from happening but at the same time I'll be sealing my own fate having not experienced a quarter of the things in life I've wanted to experience
But I also fear the longer I stay alive the worse my mental and physical state will worsen. I go through every minute of every day feeling as though I cannot win at anything and it has exhausted me beyond the point of no return