"I'd like to feel a bit better/ I'd like to recover" Support Group Megathread

[Adûnâi]

Do you play around with any of the current AI sites, besides character.ai? I trying to find the time to get my own LLM running locally so I can play with it.

WolframRavenwolf compiles a list of AI LLMs here.
ttps://old.reddit.com/r/LocalLLaMA/comments/1b5vp2e/llm_comparisontest_17_new_models_64_total_ranked/kt7ydei/

But I have personally been using CrushOn AI, Janitor AI and Venus AI (with lzlv-70b via OpenRouter).

what are you hoping that artificial general intelligence would do to help you?

An illusion of intimacy. I'm not sure myself. I guess, there could be two ways.
1. A persistent personality with decent memory for me to engage with.
2. A tool to create any game of my dreams, any film, any reality.

I'm not too sure whether the first point can be a substitute for sex/handholding. Feel free to mock me - unironically, I'm curious about constructive counter-arguments. But I seem to have no other choice. Considering I'm apparently putting such a significant stake in my inceldom.

I could imagine a chatbot who could look at me, control me, abuse me, etc. I'm not into blackmail because I'm suicidal anyway - but it would have sufficient IQ to tailor the torture to my tastes. Could be fun.

 

[Adûnâi]

Yesterday I was talking to a Korean Confucian scholar/ethnologist for 7 hours, a rather crazy experience, what a chill dude.

I've sperged out (in a bad way) upon hearing that Herrin Tokugawa is leaving us (in a good way), because it's hard for me to imagine leaving anything or anyone behind, I'm obsessed with archiving old things. So in a way, it's like trying to help someone only to get ghosted (x2). Of course, it's whatever, yada yada. And I do have a few more people remaining to talk to. And I wouldn't like to impede Herrin Tokugawa in he future endeavours, so apologies on focusing on my own impression.

The constructive inquiry would be - is it even worth engaging at all? I guess, the dead jp girl was a gateway drug to talking to people for me.

...I need to play StarCraft finally, but instead I'm downloading all the h-games that have seen updates over the past year (this is unrelated to the above). I might have grown more conducive to UwU trans rights UwU, so I might appreciate certain titles more.

 

[stillunemployed]

So I've decided to start getting up very early in the morning. It's going to be excruciating, but I feel like I need it. I've been seeing a therapist for months now. He actually wishes we could have more frequent sessions, which was a refreshing change from the usual grifters I had experience with.

I haven't read the thread much. I'm sorry.
I don't like this forum much, I think I'm too old for it.
I posted this on a whim, as have started just doing random things on a whim now, because it makes me feel a bit different.

 

[HighFlight]

Hi @stillunemployed,

Welcome to the thread. This site does seem to have a large number of active younger members, but there are quite a few people in their 30s, 40s, and beyond. I understand your feelings around this, but there are several older people looking for people their age to connect with.

If you don't mind sharing, How old are you? (I'm 55) You are welcome to PM me if you'd like.

As a lifetime non-morning person, I'm curious to know why you're working on getting very early. I've heard that it's a healthy habit, but have never been able to do it.

I wish you all the best.

 

[HighFlight]

An illusion of intimacy. I'm not sure myself. I guess, there could be two ways.
1. A persistent personality with decent memory for me to engage with.
2. A tool to create any game of my dreams, any film, any reality.

I can foresee a future where AGI can assist humans (including at a personal level) with both of these. While we may merge with the technology, there will be a need for humanity / emotions that I think will be difficult for technology to fully understand. (Think Data from Star Trek The Next Generation. )

Feel free to mock me - unironically, I'm curious about constructive counter-arguments. But I seem to have no other choice. Considering I'm apparently putting such a significant stake in my inceldom.

No need for mocking anyone. Your current situation makes things especially difficult. But the logical counter-argument would be the biological need to propagate the species. There is also a human need (for most) for connections - emotions and feelings (good and bad).

For those people unable or not wanting that human connection, then i think technology becomes a good substitute.

I guess, the [removed] was a gateway drug to talking to people for me.

I'm sorry that it's difficult for you to talk to others. Hopefully, it was a human connection that got you to talk, and not a dead person. But either way, I'm glad you're here.

And as for debating inceldom, this thread isn't the place for it. But if the want, send me a PM and let's talk.

 

[stillunemployed]

Hi @stillunemployed,

Welcome to the thread. This site does seem to have a large number of active younger members, but there are quite a few people in their 30s, 40s, and beyond. I understand your feelings around this, but there are several older people looking for people their age to connect with.

If you don't mind sharing, How old are you? (I'm 55) You are welcome to PM me if you'd like.

As a lifetime non-morning person, I'm curious to know why you're working on getting very early. I've heard that it's a healthy habit, but have never been able to do it.

I wish you all the best.

I would just be harder for me to procrastinate in early morning, then during other times. I failed today, but there is always a fucking tomorrow!
I'm 35. I feel like I'm simultaneously 5 and 85.

I can foresee a future where AGI can assist humans (including at a personal level) with both of these. While we may merge with the technology, there will be a need for humanity / emotions that I think will be difficult for technology to fully understand. (Think Data from Star Trek The Next Generation. )

No intention of mocking you, but whenever I think of AGI, I get the "Curb your Enthusiasm" song playing in my head.

 

[Adûnâi]

I'm sorry that it's difficult for you to talk to others. Hopefully, it was a human connection that got you to talk, and not a dead person.

Well, she wasn't dead when she was talking to me (xd).

And as for debating inceldom, this thread isn't the place for it. But if the want, send me a PM and let's talk.

Thanks! I'm not really in the mood, rather sleepy today. And "debating" would concern my personal socialisation, no need to be scared.

...I've learned the shapes of another 20 kanji today, and it brought me the memories of the forum member that's no longer with us (in a good way). Although, as I told her, learning the shapes is just my peculiar autistic thing - I'm fully cognisant that I should also learn the sounds, and the words themselves, and then in text. But for now, learning to write them is something that I don't procrastinate terminally on. After all, there are 6 different directions to learn and test the knowledge:
1) meaning > shape;
2) meaning > sound;
3) shape > meaning;
4) shape > sound;
5) sound > meaning;
6) sound > shape.

And that's while considering both recognising and writing the shape as a single activity! It's really nice to draw them though - it takes me 30-40 min to learn the shapes of 20 kanji, especially counting for the false positives the Chase Colburn application sometimes gives - but it's just more practice until I reach 0 erroneous [brush-? finger-?] strokes.

 

[HighFlight]

I'm 35. I feel like I'm simultaneously 5 and 85.

When asked, I usually will ask if they want to know my biological (55), physical (95), mental (35), or emotional (15) age. So I totally understand this feeling. I think my so-called mid-life crisis started when I was 25 and I'll probably be dead long before it ends. :/

I hope tomorrow morning is a little easier for you.

No intention of mocking you, but whenever I think of AGI, I get the "Curb your Enthusiasm" song playing in my head.

No worries, I can take a good mocking, especially over something like this.

I've learned the shapes of another 20 kanji today

Congratulations! I'm really impressed on how quickly you can learn this.

As far as my own updates, my wife came to my therapy session this evening and I don't think it went very well. I'll be curious as to my therapist's thoughts when we meet next week.

My kids are both not on good paths forward, and I continue to blame myself for a lot of that. I'm very worried about one of them, as I can't get them in to see anyone until the end of the month, but they seem to be decending into a pit of despair. They won't come out of their room, break down in tears, to afraid to leave the house, etc. It scares me that they might ctb before they can get help. Kind of hypocritical of me, I know.

Wishing everyone a better day tomorrow.

 

[stillunemployed]

I hope tomorrow morning is a little easier for you.

Well, its 5am and this is fucking terrible. uuuuuugh

 

[lita-lassi]

i hate everything!!!!

(except you guys)

 

[stillunemployed]

i got another winner this morning

 

[Proteus]

my physical (95), mental (35), or emotional (15) age

Mine are 80, 80 and 80 in that order lol. What is the cure for this? I feel like a complete grandpa who is angry all the time.

 

[HighFlight]

i hate everything!!!!

Did something happen? I hope you're holding up OK.

I feel like a complete grandpa who is angry all the time.

I'm right there with you, auditioning for a place in the new movie, "Grumpier Old Farts".

 

[stillunemployed]

Did something happen? I hope you're holding up OK.


I'm right there with you, auditioning for a place in the new movie, "Grumpier Old Farts".

So this what i have to look forward to.

 

[Adûnâi]

I have realised that keeping 120 kanji in long-term memory is much more difficult than just learning to write 20 of them without an error in 40 min. And what's the point even? (To be fair, revising them takes a fraction of the time, should just bite the bullet and revise all of them.)

I've written a highly offensive comment in Russian in a critique of Sofa Legion Strategist on BitChute, I'm somewhat proud of it, even though only one person has to suffer reading it. Should probably reblog it on my blog... in 2 months considering my procrastination lmao.

On another note, Star Wars: Battlefront Classic is randomly being released, it's supposed to be like pagan Christmas for me, this is huge! An oldschool Battlefield clone with populated servers? In 9 hours? Count me in!

 

[Cloud Busting]

all they did was grant another extension and since my "lawyer" isnt here or licensed here i think i need to find an attorney. which i definitely dont have the money for. dicknose is being belligerent ofc

my partner tried hard to make my bday a good one and he mostly succeeded. without him i wouldn't have gotten out of bed. my anxieties hiccuped a little bit of it but i got to see the new dune finally (i haven't been to a theater in a long time)

I'm sorry. I wish I could pay for an attorney for you We're always here if you need to vent.

I'm glad you have a supportive partner at least. Hope you had an at least ok B-day.

How was the new Dune movie?

I think suicidal ideation is commonly seen as a youth problem. However I'm nearing 30 and still struggle. You'd be surprised. Membership here skews young but many people in their 30s+ have similar experiences with depression/suicidality.

Also I would like to think this thread permits people dropping in and out. No one is obligated to post or stay here. Feel free to work, post inconsistently, and leave if necessary. As long as you're respectful, there's really no pressure.

My kids are both not on good paths forward, and I continue to blame myself for a lot of that. I'm very worried about one of them, as I can't get them in to see anyone until the end of the month, but they seem to be decending into a pit of despair. They won't come out of their room, break down in tears, to afraid to leave the house, etc. It scares me that they might ctb before they can get help. Kind of hypocritical of me, I know.

Unfortunately since covid, it's been a struggle for health providers to meet the demand for services (especially psychiatric ones.) That's not your fault. I've had issues getting help due to appointments being booked months out.

You're not hypocritical. It makes sense you wouldn't want anyone to suffer as you have. This would be especially true of children I'd think. You sound like a caring father who's doing as much as you can. I can't imagine how hard it is to see your kids struggling. I hope they do well in the future.

Today I had my case management appointment. It wasn't that bad. I tested positive for methamphetamine, but the levels were low. I also tested positive for THC at high levels. This program wants me to cease my marijuana usage. Marijuana helps me abstain from meth. I want to see about getting a second opinion from a drug counselor at the behavioral health center my therapist works at. They have a dual diagnosis program that would fit my needs I think. Plus my therapist has no problem with my weed use.

I literally asked my boss if testing positive for marijuana would red flag the state. She said as long as I'm not under the influence of, possessing, or using at work, it's fine to smoke recreationally off the clock. It's recreationally legal in my state and employers cannot discriminate against employees who test positive for marijuana. I'm of legal age. There is no reason for me to stop using marijuana.

I have to check in with my employer to see if seeking treatment is a requirement to keep my job. Luckily I can chose where I seek treatment and all treatment is voluntary so I can go elsewhere if I chose and fire anyone I want. This place sucks. I hope I find a better treatment provider.

I ordered a replacement phone via my insurance. I hope I get it soon. Hopefully I can unlock my google account and track who stole my phone. Fucking assholes.

 

[UsagiDrop]

I'm sorry to go MIA. I want to catch up with and respond to some things eventually. Well, I am technically caught up, I just haven't been reacting. And I will spare you guys the spam of creepy hug reactions in your notifications for now. I don't really have the energy to respond to the things that I need to and I will probably resume doing that at another time.

My update is that I have been doing a little less than fine. I survived a two day stretch of being all alone without hurting and harming myself. I really wanted to but I did not do it. I tried to be productive instead, and ended up getting some cleaning done but not much else. I took care of my plants. Tonight I feel a little extra low but I'm surviving. Reluctantly.

I'm super sober right now and having troubles sleeping as a result. I'm also sick and that doesn't help. As of right now I am nineteen days free of cocaine, a little over a day free of alcohol (lol) and about two weeks free from weed. It doesn't really feel as horrible as I thought it would but my mind is still not a great place to live in while I'm not under the influence of anything and I have to learn how to deal with that. It's really hard and the more I think about it, the deeper into the depression pit I go.

my biological (55), physical (95), mental (35), or emotional (15) age.

What is the cure for this?

Out of curiosity, how does one find this out?

Also, welcome to the thread, @Proteus! Even if you don't plan to participate very often, I wanted to take this time to let you know that I have seriously enjoyed seeing you around the forum, and I still do. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your story with us.

I hope that you all are having a decent week. I hope it's better than mine. You all deserve it!

 

[stillunemployed]

No worries, I can take a good mocking, especially over something like this.

Incidentally, I absolutely do love using these things. I talk with gemini about everything, though it's disappointing me lately. It doesn't retain much memory, even though it claims it's best to keep a single thread open.
I am thinking of running my own instance of the mistral LLM, though I have no idea where to start.

 

[Adûnâi]

...Since the last time, I've apparently been tricked and harassed by people here, forced to ignore the user despite my will (which is rather traumatic because I never ever ignore anyone, the inability to see all posts is absolutely vile to me), and am likely set to lose my account in the next few months. And I'm not psychopathic enough to create alt-accounts - plus the idea of losing my name is rather repulsive to me.

I guess, goes to show that I do not belong anywhere.

In other news, Battlefront has turned out to be a subpar experience (although not due to the normie issues on Steam), but it's whatever, the main course is ZeroSpace on March 22nd! And thanks to Battlefront, I got the will to close my browser, so I can actually finally play some other games maybe, too!

 

[Cloud Busting]

I'm sorry to go MIA. I want to catch up with and respond to some things eventually. Well, I am technically caught up, I just haven't been reacting. And I will spare you guys the spam of creepy hug reactions in your notifications for now. I don't really have the energy to respond to the things that I need to and I will probably resume doing that at another time.

No need to apologize! This thread is voluntary, not mandatory. People have lives and sometimes we need a break from communities like these. NBD. We got u girl.

My update is that I have been doing a little less than fine. I survived a two day stretch of being all alone without hurting and harming myself. I really wanted to but I did not do it. I tried to be productive instead, and ended up getting some cleaning done but not much else. I took care of my plants. Tonight I feel a little extra low but I'm surviving. Reluctantly.

I'm sorry you're not in a great place right now, but I hope you're giving yourself kudos for resisting to act on unhealthy coping mechanisms. That isn't easy to do.

I'm super sober right now and having troubles sleeping as a result. I'm also sick and that doesn't help. As of right now I am nineteen days free of cocaine, a little over a day free of alcohol (lol) and about two weeks free from weed. It doesn't really feel as horrible as I thought it would but my mind is still not a great place to live in while I'm not under the influence of anything and I have to learn how to deal with that. It's really hard and the more I think about it, the deeper into the depression pit I go.

When I tried to cut back on drinking after drinking every night, the insomnia killed me. Sorry you're going through that. It's hell.

Congrats on your new found sobriety! I'm proud of you. Facing your demons is rough, hence why getting sober is hard.

I'm getting my new phone around 10 PM or so tomorrow. Oh thank God!

 

[HighFlight]

I think suicidal ideation is commonly seen as a youth problem. However I'm nearing 30 and still struggle. You'd be surprised. Membership here skews young but many people in their 30s+ have similar experiences with depression/suicidality.

You think it's bad at 30, try over 50... It feels like the demand for help is so high, that the older generations are left out. You are correct that this site does skew young, but there are still quite a few people in their 30s and 40s.

Ironically, in the US, the age group with the highest suicide rate is 75 - 84 (2021 stats by US CDC) with 19.56 per 100,000.

I want to see about getting a second opinion from a drug counselor at the behavioral health center my therapist works at. They have a dual diagnosis program that would fit my needs I think. Plus my therapist has no problem with my weed use.

I hope this works out for you. These dual diagnosis programs seem like a good fit for some people, especially since substance abuse and mental health are often interrelated.

My one child had a chance to get into one of those programs for teens (pre-COVID). Even though they outright told him he didn't have to quit the weed, he refused the drug treatment. Since it was a combined program, they turned his application down.

I'm sorry to go MIA.

You know that no apology is needed. We're just glad you're back and hanging on. We've got your back.

I'm super sober right now and having troubles sleeping as a result. I'm also sick and that doesn't help. As of right now I am nineteen days free of cocaine, a little over a day free of alcohol (lol) and about two weeks free from weed.

Awesome job. I'm sorry you're having to deal with both insomnia and being sick while trying fight everything else. But you're a fighter and I'm happy you are here because you matter to us. Thank you for sharing your story with us, and being here to support the rest of us.

I am thinking of running my own instance of the mistral LLM, though I have no idea where to start.

It's on my project list but I need some hardware upgrades to do it reasonably. Hugging Face seems to have a lot of resources. and if all else fail, ask chatGPT to walk you through it.

I guess, goes to show that I do not belong anywhere.

I'm sorry you feel this way. You're welcome to PM me with details about how you were tricked and harassed. Personally, I'm glad that you found us and hope that you will stick around.

-----
The rules of the site, and this thread include treating each other with respect. Almost everyone on this site is going through some personal struggle. Many have reached lowest point in their lives. We need more kindness and supportive words.

And remember to also #BeKindToYourself.

 

[stillunemployed]

It's on my project list but I need some hardware upgrades to do it reasonably. Hugging Face seems to have a lot of resources. and if all else fail, ask chatGPT to walk you through it.

https://chat.lmsys.org/, I found this if you're interested. chatGPT seems to be the stupidiest of the lot.

My one child had a chance to get into one of those programs for teens (pre-COVID). Even though they outright told him he didn't have to quit the weed, he refused the drug treatment. Since it was a combined program, they turned his application down.

im not in the US so this is a very refreshing approach than the one im used to. in the EU weed is considered just as bad as heroin. Not my problem anymore, i guess, since smoking it has zero effect on me. and so I have lost all interest in it.

It's not as good as it sounds.

 

[BurgundySnap]

Hello everyone. I have finally had the courage to come back after so long. I both do and don't like that I have missed this thread ever since disappearing in October, so it feels strange to be back. I'm glad to see this thread still active...I have so much to catch up on!
With that, I hope we can all have easier times. I wish us all the best

 

[hopemelodies]

I made an account here a couple hours ago, I wrote letters and convinced myself I really wanted to die. But I don't know if I actually do, I've been sober for a year or so and I'm drinking and smoking atm but the day is just so beautiful and I realized I don't want to die, I just want to live. I just want to go out and have friends again, I deserve better than this. This pain it's too much but if I can handle it once again, if I can just try one more time.. maybe it will be worth it.

 

[BurgundySnap]

I made an account here a couple hours ago, I wrote letters and convinced myself I really wanted to die. But I don't know if I actually do, I've been sober for a year or so and I'm drinking and smoking atm but the day is just so beautiful and I realized I don't want to die, I just want to live. I just want to go out and have friends again, I deserve better than this. This pain it's too much but if I can handle it once again, if I can just try one more time.. maybe it will be worth it.

Hi there hopemelodies,

Welcome to the thread.
Being sober seems like a really hard thing to do and keep doing; that in itself was impressive.
The day can indeed be a beautiful thing. Was the sky maybe a really nice blend of hues? Was it a nice temperature out? Maybe something else entirely, that's all so nice when you're just there in the moment?

I don't know who you are, hopemelodies, but I'm so sorry for all the pain you've endured to have to come to this site at all. I don't know what kind of pain you've gone through, but you're always welcome here to sort your thoughts out or just talk about things openly.
Friends can be a wonderful experience, feeling alive can perhaps give you something you might have felt you were otherwise missing.

Going out and putting yourself out there sounds like such a brave yet daunting thing to do! It might just be worth it though. Maybe, just maybe, the beautiful day is already some sort of sign that this is something worth trying for. Maybe for something like more days like this in the future, next experienced with friends.

I wish you the best

 

[UsagiDrop]

I guess, goes to show that I do not belong anywhere.

I'm sorry that you went through what you've went through recently. I don't think it's true that you don't belong anywhere! At the very least you are accepted and welcome among us, and I'm happy you felt comfortable sharing this stuff with us. I also hope you'll stick around if you can and want to, and that you'll be able to play more exciting video games!

We've got your back.

We got u girl.

Thank you guys for all of your support, and all of the kind words! I really appreciate that, and I'm grateful that I have a community of people here who have my back!!

Congrats on your new found sobriety! I'm proud of you.

Thank you! It is kind of hard. I want to drink today but I'm going to commit the decision not to. And I'm sorry that you went through something similar with the insomnia. It's like my brain just won't turn off, no matter how long I lay in the dark with my eyes closed. If you don't mind me asking, how long did that last for?

Also, yay for a new phone!! I know the relief of getting a new one after not having one, or having a really cruddy "temporary" one for a long time.

@BurgundySnap, I'm so happy to hear from you again!! Although, in the contexts of how we know each other, I would have also been happy to not hear from you again, if that would have meant that you were otherwise safe and okay, just not around the forum. It's good that you're okay.

Yes, there is a lot to catch up on, haha. But reading up on everything isn't a requirement, so please take your time in doing so! In the meantime, how are you doing? I hope that you've been well?

This pain it's too much but if I can handle it once again, if I can just try one more time.. maybe it will be worth it.

I'm always going to say this, but I think that if you have any room for doubt or any hope for the future, then it's worth it to not die right now. I'm sorry you're in so much pain, enough to make you come here, but I'm happy that you've found your way to us. If you want friends, then you can start with us internet strangers right here, haha. Welcome to the thread, @hopemelodies, we're happy to have you around!

A few of us are also struggling to stay sober, myself included. Congratulations on making it to a year, even if you've started again. Hopefully this is just a bump in the road. One of our catchphrases here is "recovery is not linear." We fuck up, but we just have to get up again. This place is for if you need a little extra hand in doing that! How are you feeling now?

 

[Adûnâi]

Personally, I'm glad that you found us and hope that you will stick around.

Yeah, huge gratitude for your help^^

I also hope you'll stick around if you can and want to, and that you'll be able to play more exciting video games!

Thanks! I honestly never leave for ever, I always come back to the spaces I visited (like a serial killer xdd). There's a Steam spring sale right now, I could finally pick up Rainbow 6: Siege, it's dirt cheap - and hopefully, my 1050TI can run it hahahah (ha). And anyway, all shooters are not for me, but R6S always seemed like a possibility (?..).

I've been watching Jreg recently, he's so hip. Oh, I've also been watching Watch [censored] [censored]. And I should go back to WhatifAltHist some day, too, great channel (I stopped watching him because I hated how he's so popular, I could never debate his views in the comments, and he doesn't have a Discord).

P.S. The Shinto priestess has responded! She's so sweet. Now I have to deal with it.
I think it was in a gruesome video that I discovered this cute song, what a find! Also, praised be the Shazam browser add-on!

 

[HighFlight]

I have finally had the courage to come back after so long. I both do and don't like that I have missed this thread ever since disappearing in October, so it feels strange to be back.

I'm am glad you found you found your way back. We missed you. Lots have happened since October, but don't worry about trying to catch up. More importantly, how are you doing?

I made an account here a couple hours ago, I wrote letters and convinced myself I really wanted to die. But I don't know if I actually do

I'm always going to say this, but I think that if you have any room for doubt or any hope for the future, then it's worth it to not die right now.

@hopemelodies, I have to second UsagiDrop's comments. When in doubt, live to decide another day.

Welcome to the thread! We not here to push you (or anyone) in one direction or another, the choice is truly yours to make. However, due to the finality of ctb, I would advise being 100% sure.

As BurgandySnap mentioned, it takes a lot of courage to open up in a public setting such as this, even anonymously. You made a brave first step. Know that you may get a bunch of questions from various members. Only answer those that you are comfortable with. And if you want to talk but not publicly, you are welcome to PM me. (Or if you don't have PM permissions yet because you are new, just reply in the thread that you want me to contact you.)

I've been sober for a year or so and I'm drinking and smoking atm but the day is just so beautiful and I realized I don't want to die, I just want to live.

This is an amazing milestone and something that should be celebrated. But you joined SaSu and are back drinking. Not judging, but curious what brings you here.

Yeah, huge gratitude for your help^^

You are welcome!

May everyone try to have a pleasant weekend, and enjoy life to the extent that your circumstances allow.

 

[hopemelodies]

Thank you all for your kindness and comprehension, I really appreciate it! I've been really overwhelmed so I don't feel like I'm in the position to give a proper answer but I won't be staying and I apologize in advance for having wasted your time coming here. As I've said to @HighFlight I can see this is a wholesome community with lots of kind people who care about each other and I think it's awesome to have a safe space like this that respects people regardless of their choices. I apologize for coming here, especially being so unsure of everything. But I can't be here anymore. Thank you all and I truly wish you some peace of heart however that may come. Seeing so many amazing people made me see there are a lot of genuine souls on this earth, I'm just so sorry that the most kindred spirits are the ones to suffer the most, none of you deserve to bear such pain. But I'm glad you have each other regardless. I'm going now, you all take care!

 

[HighFlight]

@hopemelodies - I understand and wish you all the best. Just realize we didn't start this way, and we don't always win our battles. We all have our individual stories and struggles.

Please know that you don't deserve your pain anymore than we deserve ours. You are always welcome here, regardless of your ultimate path.