I

[Mandyblack]

I've been trying to improve for so long. But I have no results. I may feel a little better, but I always end up falling again.
I can't live like this anymore. It's stressful, suffocating. It hurts, it's agonizing.
I really want to take my life, because I know that's what will end all suffering, but I'm very afraid. Fear of leaving the ones I love, fear of not knowing what happens next and most of all, fear of not getting it right the first time.
You who are here and have tried it, how do you deal with it?

 

[Living_Hurts_so_Much]

I've been trying to improve for so long. But I have no results. I may feel a little better, but I always end up falling again.
I can't live like this anymore. It's stressful, suffocating. It hurts, it's agonizing.
I really want to take my life, because I know that's what will end all suffering, but I'm very afraid. Fear of leaving the ones I love, fear of not knowing what happens next and most of all, fear of not getting it right the first time.
You who are here and have tried it, how do you deal with it?

The only time I did, I ended up in "voluntary" 7 day hold. life sucks here. I try but wish for peace. I took out my SN today to hold it again in my hands to try to get over whatever fear I have left of ctb