trist
Student
- Mar 21, 2023
- 114
i can't do it because i don't have sn yet and i'm not home alone. i know there are other methods but i shouldn't act on impulse, even though it's difficult not to do so at the moment. my parents are the reason i am so sure of dying right now (they're the ones that tip me over the edge most of the time). i'm actually feeling sad to the point i almost cried and i haven't cried in ages + i'm constantly emotionally numb so sadness feels a little strange. i already knew today would suck because i was forced to go to church again, but it got worse than i expected. i feel so suffocated.
i actually have a lot more to say but i can't verbalize it. why is that so hard for me? i wish i could talk to someone in real life but i can't. i have a friend but i know she doesn't want to talk and i don't want to burden her with my useless complaints again. i also decided to stop reaching out to people to see if someone else makes the first move and so far no one has said anything to me in a week (except for unpersonal university stuff). i don't blame them though, i wouldn't want to talk to me either.
i'm not sure what i tried to achieve by posting this. i guess i just needed an outlet.
i actually have a lot more to say but i can't verbalize it. why is that so hard for me? i wish i could talk to someone in real life but i can't. i have a friend but i know she doesn't want to talk and i don't want to burden her with my useless complaints again. i also decided to stop reaching out to people to see if someone else makes the first move and so far no one has said anything to me in a week (except for unpersonal university stuff). i don't blame them though, i wouldn't want to talk to me either.
i'm not sure what i tried to achieve by posting this. i guess i just needed an outlet.