I wish there was a painless way out

[sapped]

I am having a hard time accepting the life I cannot escape. Even painful methods have the possibility of leading nowhere — or to worse outcomes. I don't know how much longer I can go on pretending I'm fine and don't need help. I definitely need help. The sad truth is, the help that is available is not helpful to me. The help that is available is centered around the idea that I still have some hope for my future. What hope is there when I have no job prospects, my family is falling apart — and so is my sanity?

For as long as I can remember, survival has felt like wearing a mask someone else picked out for me.

 

[rokonie]

Please i want a painless way out so fucking bad. Ik how you feel about recovery not being possible because of the lack of jobs and unstable family. I don't want therapy because I simply don't wish to participate in this life. I'm not hoping for something better, i don't care about healing enough to find friends or to enjoy work and whatever the good parts life has to offer. Because while that stuff sounds nice, it's not worth sticking around for to me.

 

[FlufflesAway]

I think most people secretly want this. It would be the ultimate gift. I don't want to play anymore. I want out.

I think your body is pretty good at numbing yourself, it's just a matter of hyping yourself up to do it in whatever manner you chose. I've been physically hurt a lot. Electrocuted. Beaten. Concussions leading to temporary blindness. The hardest part is the emotions. Shock will make your body numb, but your mind never stops.

 

[FuneralCry]

I also just wish for a painless eternal escape from this existence, it's so cruel to me how suicide isn't as straightforward as never waking again, it's so sad and terrible how humans have to struggle so much to die and fear ending up in a situation of worse suffering from trying to die going wrong. But anyway, best wishes.