I wish that I could ctb right now

[Deleted member 23774]

I have the SN and tagamet, all that I am missing the prescribed antiemetic and not sure if I can get it. Any ideas of otc antiemetics that I could use? I've seen where people have passed without it.

I really want to do it right now, but I have to get some affairs done first. Part of me just wants to say f it and not wait, but I really need to do a will first. I think I will have everything done in a week or two. I just don't know if I can wait until then.

I used to be a bad person. I've made a lot of mistakes and I have changed. I treat people better and I am now kind. I just can't handle the guilt and the shame of the way that I used to be. I also can't handle my physical and emotional pain from past trauma.

Death seems like the only option for me, it's the only escape that I have. There is no hope or light at the end of the tunnel, there is just darkness and regret.

 

[I screwed up]

Death seems like the only option for me, it's the only escape that I have. There is no hope or light at the end of the tunnel, there is just darkness and regret.

Completely resonates with me ... Feel exactly the same

 

[HelloHell]

I have the SN and tagamet, all that I am missing the prescribed antiemetic and not sure if I can get it. Any ideas of otc antiemetics that I could use?

I read that OTC antiemetics will not help for SN. Do you have a prescription for anti-psychotics? those can work

Death seems like the only option for me, it's the only escape that I have. There is no hope or light at the end of the tunnel, there is just darkness and regret.

i can relate to that :)

 

[Deleted member 23774]

I read that OTC antiemetics will not help for SN. Do you have a prescription for anti-psychotics? those can work

i can relate to that :)

The only antipsychotic that I'm on is risperdone.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I used to be a bad person. I've made a lot of mistakes and I have changed. I treat people better and I am now kind. I just can't handle the guilt and the shame of the way that I used to be.

Sounds like they guided you. :) Personally, I think the world benefits when people make the effort to change for the better. But even if you can't go on or don't want to, thank you for becoming better for the time you had left here. I know it had to have far-reaching effects that you may not have been aware of as you were the negative effects of how you used to act.

I don't know if you're interested in reading it, totally cool if you're not, but I recently read this story about an Australian woman who became a Stasi spy, and then realized she was helping the bad guys. She talks about guilt and what she's done with it. I'm also reminded of former skinheads and gangbangers who now do outreach to try to reverse racism.

Redirect Notice

 

[HelloHell]

The only antipsychotic that I'm on is risperdone.

According to Stan's guide, risperidone can function as an antiemetic. You should be good to go with that!

 

[Deleted member 23774]

View attachment 51522

Sounds like they guided you. :) Personally, I think the world benefits when people make the effort to change for the better. But even if you can't go on or don't want to, thank you for becoming better for the time you had left here. I know it had to have far-reaching effects that you may not have been aware of as you were the negative effects of how you used to act.

I don't know if you're interested in reading it, totally cool if you're not, but I recently read this story about an Australian woman who became a Stasi spy, and then realized she was helping the bad guys. She talks about guilt and what she's done with it. I'm also reminded of former skinheads and gangbangers who now do outreach to try to reverse racism.

Redirect Notice

Thank you, I read it.

According to Stan's guide, risperidone can function as an antiemetic. You should be good to go with that!
[/QUOTE
Awesome, I'm glad that it will work.

 

[muffin222]

I'm so sorry. I can empathize with your guilt about past wrongs...I used to do a lot of bad things years ago, too. The guilt still haunts me from time to time, even though I rationally know that what's done is done and that all we can do is learn from our mistakes, find the lessons, and apply wisely them in our future actions. Easier said than done, especially when we're so far removed from our past that we can see our actions in a radically different light.

Whatever you decide to do in the end, we will support you. You're not alone in feeling this way

 

[Deleted member 23774]

Thank you, I feel like I need to do this. I'm working in changing, but I feel like it is too late and that there is no redemption. I just feel like it would be better that I'm gone. I can't handle the pain.

 

[Noriv159]

I used to be a bad person. I've made a lot of mistakes and I have changed.

I apologetically admit this too. At times I feel like I had this coming. I hope we can forgive ourselves.

 

[OblivionSeeker]

I don't think I can forgive myself for some things I did in my teens and 20s. and there are many things I can't forgive my parents for......can't forgive my country for....This existence has to be Hell.

 

[Noriv159]

I know what you are feeling. You don't have to be the martyr of your past because everyone makes mistakes to learn from them. Look at what compassion and humility it has brought to you. Doesn't it inspire you? Doesn't it inspire me? Others? Give yourself some credit for what you've gone through and, importantly, what you've made yourself into, because that's what really counts. You're not a victim of your past but the hero!

 

[Deleted member 23774]

I apologetically admit this too. At times I feel like I had this coming. I hope we can forgive ourselves.

Hopefully

 

[Deleted member 23774]

I know what you are feeling. You don't have to be the martyr of your past because everyone makes mistakes to learn from them. Look at what compassion and humility it has brought to you. Doesn't it inspire you? Doesn't it inspire me? Others? Give yourself some credit for what you've gone through and, importantly, what you've made yourself into, because that's what really counts. You're not a victim of your past but the hero!

Thank you