I wish people would help me commit suicide

[Dark-Knight]

I'm 26 years old and still live with my parents. I may still be young but I'm tired of this life, I suffer from mental ilness and it's very hard for me to function normally in this society and to connect with people. My parents care a lot about me and are supportive, although they don't really understand much about the subject of mental ilness. They also know that I'm suicidal. I've been to psychiatrists and psychologists before to see if they can give me a diagnosis but I'm not sure I can trust them especially psychiatrists. Psychiatry is subjective, one psychiatrist may give you a diagnosis while another psychiatrist may give you a different one, I've also heard that the medications they give can have side effects and they may not help you at all but make things even worse, so nothing is sure when dealing with psychiatrists.

I really want to die, I've thought about suicide for many years but I didn't have the courage to do it since many methods are brutal and painful and there's a risk of surviving and ending up in a much worse state. This life is a burden and I don't want to continue anymore but I don't know for sure which method to choose and I don't know if anyone would want to help me either. It feels like I'm stuck in this life and in this world.

I read the resources and methods threads and I also read about many methods on the internet but it's very complicated for me to get access to things like SN, N, fentanyl or helium and there's also a lot of planning regarding these substances, for example you have to know exactly how much of one of those substances you should take, the time you take them etc, all of this is very complicated for me. Getting a gun is very hard because it's illegal to have one in the country I live in, jumping is too brutal and you might survive so it's not worth the risk, there's also full suspension and partial hanging but both require practice and it's not sure whether you'll succeed in cbt or not, there's also the risk of surviving and having brain damage, then there's also carbon monoxide but I've never used a grill before so I have to learn how to use one. All I know is that I want a fast and possibly painless death, if it's not entirely painless then at least I want it to be fast and to be sure that I die.
I wish people would help me commit suicide or even my parents would help me. They have a decent amount of money and resources so theoretically they could help me but I don't think they would want that. This is all just a wish anyway, I know that probably neither other people nor my parents will help me with this so I'll have to take action on my own, even though it would have made things much easier if I were helped

 

[FuneralCry]

It's just so horrible and cruel to me how suicide is purposely made so inaccessible, I also feel so trapped here. I really wish we could just have the option to just easily die in peace, I will always find it unacceptable how people cannot just choose to cease existing in a guaranteed painless way whenever they wish to. But anyway I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for.

 

[sserafim]

Same, I know it sounds terrible but I wish I had a terminal illness so I could qualify for VAD. Unfortunately, my conditions (ASD, etc) don't qualify, and they make my life a living hell. It's not fair that we were brought into this world against our will and don't have any guaranteed ways to leave. I believe that suicide and assisted death should be a human right. People should have bodily autonomy, the right to die and the right to decide their death on their own terms. It's your own body and life anyways, not someone else's, so why does someone else have the right to restrict your right to die peacefully? It's just so unfair.

 

[lifewasawillowtv]

I understand where you're coming from, I wish someone would just shoot me in the head when I don't expect it, basically like a hitman but I know that's just a sick fantasy that won't ever come into fruition. It would make this entire ctb process easier though. Planning and then executing this stuff is both so physically and mentally exhausting, especially since many on here like myself already suffer from mental and or physical health issues. Then on top of that it's not like these methods are easy to obtain or easy to carry out properly and peacefully. It's so much work.

 

[mona_lisa]

I get where you're coming from. Ngl sometimes I just wish I'd get into some freak accident so I can skip the long, draining planning stage to ctb. I also don't have access to any firearms so that's not an option for me (at least for now). I wish I could just cease to exist at all. Anyone I've met that have even been hinted that I feel this way act all angry and entitled. They tell me it's the most selfish thing possible. I literally didn't even say I was suicidal out loud they just guessed. Why should they have a say in what I do with my own life or death? Of course they won't help so the most they can do is let me find my way out in peace. I hope you find the peace you're looking for, best of luck

 

[darkenmydoorstep]

I'm 26 years old and still live with my parents. I may still be young but I'm tired of this life, I suffer from mental ilness and it's very hard for me to function normally in this society and to connect with people. My parents care a lot about me and are supportive, although they don't really understand much about the subject of mental ilness. They also know that I'm suicidal. I've been to psychiatrists and psychologists before to see if they can give me a diagnosis but I'm not sure I can trust them especially psychiatrists. Psychiatry is subjective, one psychiatrist may give you a diagnosis while another psychiatrist may give you a different one, I've also heard that the medications they give can have side effects and they may not help you at all but make things even worse, so nothing is sure when dealing with psychiatrists.

I really want to die, I've thought about suicide for many years but I didn't have the courage to do it since many methods are brutal and painful and there's a risk of surviving and ending up in a much worse state. This life is a burden and I don't want to continue anymore but I don't know for sure which method to choose and I don't know if anyone would want to help me either. It feels like I'm stuck in this life and in this world.

I read the resources and methods threads and I also read about many methods on the internet but it's very complicated for me to get access to things like SN, N, fentanyl or helium and there's also a lot of planning regarding these substances, for example you have to know exactly how much of one of those substances you should take, the time you take them etc, all of this is very complicated for me. Getting a gun is very hard because it's illegal to have one in the country I live in, jumping is too brutal and you might survive so it's not worth the risk, there's also full suspension and partial hanging but both require practice and it's not sure whether you'll succeed in cbt or not, there's also the risk of surviving and having brain damage, then there's also carbon monoxide but I've never used a grill before so I have to learn how to use one. All I know is that I want a fast and possibly painless death, if it's not entirely painless then at least I want it to be fast and to be sure that I die.
I wish people would help me commit suicide or even my parents would help me. They have a decent amount of money and resources so theoretically they could help me but I don't think they would want that. This is all just a wish anyway, I know that probably neither other people nor my parents will help me with this so I'll have to take action on my own, even though it would have made things much easier if I were helped

I feel the same but people who want to stay living have to think of the implications of helping. As for others in same position on the internet, sadly it's hard to trust people. There are many people who don't want your peace, only your suffering and it's very difficult to find separate people with kind intentions from those with mean ones.

 

[Heartaches]

I feel the same way as you. I have the financial means to attempt suicide, but it's mentally exhausting to research all the stuff I need for the certain methods and the effects, buy stuff, check everything's ok, test it and get on a regimen to guarantee success (plus getting life things sorted out before the attempt and other considerations to be made); so I haven't been able to advance outside step 1 (research). I wish it was all just simpler and less risky. I wish people respected our decisions instead of stigmatizing us. I wish it didn't put us in a vulnerable position to get taken advantage of and abused. It sucks so much.​

 

[Dark-Knight]

I feel the same but people who want to stay living have to think of the implications of helping. As for others in same position on the internet, sadly it's hard to trust people. There are many people who don't want your peace, only your suffering and it's very difficult to find separate people with kind intentions from those with mean ones.

What implications would there be if someone helped me?

 

[VidFlumina]

What implications would there be if someone helped me?

In most countries it's a criminal offense to assist or encourage someone to commit suicide

 

[Dark-Knight]

In most countries it's a criminal offense to assist or encourage someone to commit suicide

Only if other people find out that someone helped me and they report it to the police, but I was thinking that I could be helped in secretly, that wouldn't lead to a criminal offense

 

[Forever Sleep]

What implications would there be if someone helped me?

Up to 14 years in prison (in the UK.)

 

[BrainShower]

Only if other people find out that someone helped me and they report it to the police, but I was thinking that I could be helped in secretly, that wouldn't lead to a criminal offense

Who would be willing to risk 14 years for this? I mean, there are other ways of getting implicated than just being ratted out or caught in the act .
Imagine a neighbor sees the person who is helping come to the residence, then all of a sudden there's a death?
What if finger prints or DNA are left at the scene?
It's a risky proposition.

 

[sserafim]

Only if other people find out that someone helped me and they report it to the police, but I was thinking that I could be helped in secretly, that wouldn't lead to a criminal offense

Where would you find people to help you ctb? How would you convince them to? I assume most people would be against it…

 

[Dark-Knight]

Who would be willing to risk 14 years for this? I mean, there are other ways of getting implicated than just being ratted out or caught in the act .
Imagine a neighbor sees the person who is helping come to the residence, then all of a sudden there's a death?
What if finger prints or DNA are left at the scene?
It's a risky proposition.

What other ways to get implicated do you think there are?
I was thinking that someone or maybe my parents could help me with a method I choose, for example they could help me get a gun, get fentanyl or heroin, show me how to use grills and charcoals in order to produce carbon monoxide etc, depending on what method I would choose. This is all just a theory, I'm not saying that someone or my parents will help me but it's still a possibility. As for the legal implications, I don't have a big social circle in the sense that only a few people would care about me, my parents and sister are the only ones who care about me so I don't think there would be anyone who would call the police if they saw anything suspicious or if I was dead, they wouldn't care about this. My parents have money and resources so I think they could help me without getting into trouble with the law, the problem is that they probably won't help me. They know that I'm suicidal and I told them that I wish they would help me commit suicide so I could have a fast and more peaceful death but they refuse, they think they would commit a murder if they help me with this even though I consent to this, they also know my struggles, they know that I suffer in this world yet they wouldn't do it. Without their help I don't know anyone else who would want to help me with this

Where would you find people to help you ctb? How would you convince them to? I assume most people would be against it…

That's one of the biggest challenges, convincing someone to help you. If you somehow convince them then the rest isn't very hard. Also if someone helps you it doesn't mean they'll get caught or anything like that, this is just what some people say to spread fear so that no one helps you or because they themselves are too afraid to help or they simply don't care and it's easier for them to say that. I don't know exactly how it can be done but I know that it's a possibility

 

[rozeske]

There are professionals that can help you kill yourself. The process is called MAID (Medical Assistance in Dying). There are a few places that provide it legally. Other than that people especially parents and loved ones won't ever assist you in killing yourself due to the whole moral and legal aspect of it. Yes it would be nice and easy for us if that was the case but it is unrealistic in the current world we live in.

 

[Dark-Knight]

There are professionals that can help you kill yourself. The process is called MAID (Medical Assistance in Dying). There are a few places that provide it legally. Other than that people especially parents and loved ones won't ever assist you in killing yourself due to the whole moral and legal aspect of it. Yes it would be nice and easy for us if that was the case but it is unrealistic in the current world we live in.

I heard about MAID but it's only for people with physical ilnesses if I'm not mistaken, I'm not sure if they would accept me and also I don't know if young people are allowed there or if it's only for older people. Also I don't know the price for it, how long it would take to get accepted there, what kind of documents you would need and if you have to be a citizen of the country the program is in

 

[rozeske]

I heard about MAID but it's only for people with physical ilnesses if I'm not mistaken, I'm not sure if they would accept me and also I don't know if young people are allowed there or if it's only for older people. Also I don't know the price for it, how long it would take to get accepted there, what kind of documents you would need and if you have to be a citizen of the country the program is in

You are right it's very expensive, for elderly people and terminally ill so very slim chance of many people getting the benefits of MAID. But my point is people assisting you in killing yourself only comes from MAID.

 

[ipunp]

What implications would there be if someone helped me?

Some people may have feelings attached to the act of helping you that may be harmful or disturbing to them. Others won't. Those who do may be stigmatized (canceled) for helping you in any way as well, penalized at work or even lose their job or standing in various circles (social/family/community/work/etc.). Nevertheless, humans do currently overdose and sedate people who are in severe pain or clearly at the end of their lives. Some of those people beg outright to die rather than experience what they experience. How are we so different?

 

[Dark-Knight]

You are right it's very expensive, for elderly people and terminally ill so very slim chance of many people getting the benefits of MAID. But my point is people assisting you in killing yourself only comes from MAID

If my parents or someone else's parents really care about their child and don't want to see them suffer then theoretically they could help them kill themselves, for example my parents could try to find some substance or drug like fentanyl or heroin for me to have a fast and peaceful death, and not just parents but anyone close to someone who really cares about that person and doesn't want to see them suffer either from physical or mental ilnesses. Some people think about these legal stuff too much, the police and other people who aren't close to me wouldn't care if I died and if someone helped me kill myself, they wouldn't even know if no one told them about this. So yes it's possible for someone to help you kill yourself without legal problems, at least that's my opinion

Some people may have feelings attached to the act of helping you that may be harmful or disturbing to them. Others won't. Those who do may be stigmatized (canceled) for helping you in any way as well, penalized at work or even lose their job or standing in various circles (social/family/community/work/etc.). Nevertheless, humans do currently overdose and sedate people who are in severe pain or clearly at the end of their lives. Some of those people beg outright to die rather than experience what they experience. How are we so different?

They would only get stigmatized if other people found out about this, but like I said in one of my previous replies, I think that it can be done secretly, for example someone close to you, like your parents or friends gives you fentanyl, you take it and you die, it's simple. It's just a theory, I don't know how many people would be willing to help someone but it's certainly possible

 

[rozeske]

If my parents or someone else's parents really care about their child and don't want to see them suffer then theoretically they could help them kill themselves, for example my parents could try to find some substance or drug like fentanyl or heroin for me to have a fast and peaceful death, and not just parents but anyone close to someone who really cares about that person and doesn't want to see them suffer either from physical or mental ilnesses. Some people think about these legal stuff too much, the police and other people who aren't close to me wouldn't care if I died and if someone helped me kill myself, they wouldn't even know if no one told them about this. So yes it's possible for someone to help you kill yourself without legal problems, at least that's my opinion

Yes theoretically it's a nice thing to imagine and fantasize about. But in reality, in the world we currently live in, it's not practical. Not only for the legal aspect of it. It's unheard of a parent handing their own child a method to kill themselves, no matter the reason. There are cases in which people have murdered their child but it's not for the intentions you mentioned. The reality of the world we currently live in is suicide is a lonely act. We are fortunate enough to even have found this site.

 

[drezteck83]

I really would there to be a program like make a wish for people who want to ctb. They'd help you with financial and resources and you'd be able to get the ticket and turn it in and be in your way. It's a dream for someone to help me in that way.

 

[grahf]

What about sacro pods assited suicide in Switzerland?

 

[hopeless08]

I understand where you're coming from, I wish someone would just shoot me in the head when I don't expect it, basically like a hitman but I know that's just a sick fantasy that won't ever come into fruition. It would make this entire ctb process easier though. Planning and then executing this stuff is both so physically and mentally exhausting, especially since many on here like myself already suffer from mental and or physical health issues. Then on top of that it's not like these methods are easy to obtain or easy to carry out properly and peacefully. It's so much work.

I can relate when you're in such emotional agony and can't even get out of bed it is extremely hard to have to look into methods, find resources knowing exactly what it takes to ctb successfully, worry that it's going to go wrong, is just mentally exhausting when we are already exhausted by having to perform the simplest of tasks. I wish there would just be an off switch just like turning the lights off to go to sleep but never waking up.

 

[Dark-Knight]

What about sacro pods assited suicide in Switzerland?

I heard about them but I don't know if they're legal or not. Also who would be allowed to use them, people with only physical ilnesses or other people as well? What age do people need to have in order to be accepted, how much does it cost, how do you apply for it? I have many questions because I don't have a lot of information about this

 

[tuey32]

I can relate so much as someone in a similar situation. This is such a hard thing to carry out on my own even though I really don't want be here. I even asked my mom how she would feel about me committing suicide after explaining to her how much pain I was in. She obviously was not ok with this and I don't know why I thought she might be

 

[JezebelDuLioncourt]

@Dark-Knight Question for you: If your sister were to ask you to help her ctb, would you do it? Suppose that you're the normie, and your sister is the one suffering from mental illness and she implored you to find her Fentanyl and give her instructions on how to use it, how much would you go out of your way to make it happen?

 

[strangelife]

I think that loved ones will never agree to help, only in case of severe physical suffering, perhaps they will be able to understand.

 

[Dark-Knight]

@Dark-Knight Question for you: If your sister were to ask you to help her ctb, would you do it? Suppose that you're the normie, and your sister is the one suffering from mental illness and she implored you to find her Fentanyl and give her instructions on how to use it, how much would you go out of your way to make it happen?

If I knew how to get fentanyl I would help her, if that's what she really wanted

 

[grahf]

I heard about them but I don't know if they're legal or not. Also who would be allowed to use them, people with only physical ilnesses or other people as well? What age do people need to have in order to be accepted, how much does it cost, how do you apply for it? I have many questions because I don't have a lot of information about this

Yeah you are right, if I'm not wrong you need ~10.000 usd for sacro

 

[Dark-Knight]

Yeah you are right, if I'm not wrong you need ~10.000 usd for sacro

And who can be accepted there, only elderly people with physical ilnesses or other people as well?