Venting I was put in the mental hospital in October and I don’t think I’ll recover

[tapewormsinthestool]

I know this is not a new experience but I'm going to bitch anyway. I got flashed multiple times at my stay and I wouldn't be surprised if I got taken advantage of in my sleep. the group of people there I got lumped in with were probably the only good thing about it. I never got the chance to keep their contact information though because the staff looked through your shit all the time and jumped at any chance to skin search me. They berated anyone who cried. They sedated anyone who panicked.

I was put in obs or ''silent time'', which was their sugarcoated way of saying that I got to be locked in a barren room with nothing but a bed as soon as I got in and was never let out up until my release despite being obedient like they wanted me to be and not saying anything remotely incriminating to the shitty therapists. said therapists told me to come up with solutions to my problems myself and then go to them when I did. Our clothes were considered a privilege that the staff would just take away any time they felt like it.I don't like to think about the rest and my brain wouldn't let me even if I did. I'm grateful my experience wasn't as bad as a lot of peoples probably were but I still can't sleep at night because my room resembles the placd too much.

The people around still me insist they did the right thing. They still think they did nothing wrong after ruining my life even more.

 

[PapaYeehaw]

That experience sounds extra traumatizing though because what do you mean they saw clothes as a privilege?! That's so wrong on so many levels I'm so sorry.

I was unfairly Baker Acted in September and I have so much trauma from it. I'm much angrier than I was before. Most people are worse off after their stay. I was at a 1 star shit hole and also was sexually harrassed, which the staff didn't give a shit about.

Is there anything you can do to make your room resemble it less? For me, I have to keep my room very warm or else I get triggered because the place i got sent to was miserably cold constantly and we only had paper clothes or something donated if you're lucky enough.

Then to add insult to injury, these awful places proceed to bill you thousands of dollars like you chose to be there. Great system we have..

 

[tapewormsinthestool]

That experience sounds extra traumatizing though because what do you mean they saw clothes as a privilege?! That's so wrong on so many levels I'm so sorry.

I was unfairly Baker Acted in September and I have so much trauma from it. I'm much angrier than I was before. Most people are worse off after their stay. I was at a 1 star shit hole and also was sexually harrassed, which the staff didn't give a shit about.

Is there anything you can do to make your room resemble it less? For me, I have to keep my room very warm or else I get triggered because the place i got sent to was miserably cold constantly and we only had paper clothes or something donated if you're lucky enough.

Then to add insult to injury, these awful places proceed to bill you thousands of dollars like you chose to be there. Great system we have..

I think what scares me the most about it is that they applied everything to the kids staying there too, honestly.

my stay really made me hate mental health professionals more, they never care about anything but getting their sweet paycheck out of the people they fuck over. Everything is way worse than before and if it weren't for the fact that everyone in my life is breathing over my shoulder I'd be dead by now.

I've tried painting and writing on my walls, I've tried different blankets, I've tried getting a warmer light, I've tried having music play all the time, it really does nothing for me and i don't know why. I was lucky enough that at the place I stayed your family could bring you a small amount of your clothes but that didn't really matter when they were taking away our clothes and replacing them with gowns that were borderline transparent and. Didn't cover anything at all. because our clothes were a privilege that everyone but me could have.

I don't know what i paid those thousands for, really. I got nothing out of it but some shitty Zoloft that hasn't even come yet despite supposedly being meant to be shipped at most a few weeks after my discharge. That I'm still supposed to pay for anyways somehow even though i don't have it.

 

[MyLifeisHell]

The Betrayal of Professionals with Lived Experience

I know that being “out” at work could help challenge stereotypes and reduce stigma but I hide. I have that luxury.

www.madinamerica.com

This is a good article. They don't bother to hide their judgment and contempt from patients. One can only imagine what one gets to observe behind the scenes.

Frankly I have thought about returning to one such place as some kind of employee just to be a force of good but I know I would 1) feel similarly conflicted and 2) not be able to handle the retraumatization and endless ignorance and bad behavior that is futile to do anything about.

In America the financial incentives ruin everything. No one should be forced to pay for something they didn't consent to especially of dubious to zero utility.

I'm sorry you went through that. A lot of us can attest to the psychological impact. Finding solace with other people who went through something similar can be helpful but can't also foster anger too. I guess the best way to cope is to fully empower your life the best way your can and in a way that you eliminate the prospect of returning.