I was never meant to be

[dancinglights]

I was never meant to be. That's it. Really.
I don't think I was supposed to be born. Life doesn't seem to mesh well with me, my sentience. And the most pitiful chance that I was the one that came to be, formed and made from conception feels like a cruel joke that was played.
I've tried. I really have tried to work myself - really, to burrow myself into life and society and to grasp onto the many desperate thoughts and sayings of, "You're meant to be here," and, "You're here for a reason."
But, really, as much as I've tried to fool myself in believing that this is for me, I've come to realise that deep down, I know that being here does not resonate with who I am.
I think I was born just to realise this and die.

 

[bipolar22]

none of us are meant to be here. life is a random mess where anything happens for no reason whatsoever and then everyone dies. life is a joke. just waiting for my turn to finally join death and never come back to this shithole.

wishing you the best

 

[SadjDuck]

These really resonated with me. I've always felt this but never really able to put it into words. I've felt like I'm not part really part of this world and I don't even feel like im able to enjoy the most mundane things. Life is always against me and all left for me now is just self-hatred.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I relate. I feel like I'm not meant to be here either. My neurotype and personality is such that it makes me very incompatible with life. I think that life is meant to be for those who can experience happiness and have things that they want to do in it. Ever since I was born, I never really wanted to do anything. I never had any dreams or aspirations or interests or hobbies etc. All of the things that makes a human, well, a human... I didn't have any of them. Honestly, it actually feels like I'm highly compatible with death as I see pure beauty and perfection in the idea of permanently ceasing to have thoughts, feelings, emotions, responsibilities, suffering and so on for all eternity

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand, I never should have existed as well and more than anything I wish I never existed. Being conscious and aware is an abomination to me, I'm not meant to suffer in this repulsive world that is filled with endless suffering.

 

[LaughingGoat]

none of us are meant to be here. life is a random mess where anything happens for no reason whatsoever and then everyone dies. life is a joke. just waiting for my turn to finally join death and never come back to this shithole.

wishing you the best

To build on this, the sperm of the same person are different genetic sequences; so life is so random that if a different one of your dad's sperm had won the race, you would be a different person. It's mind-blowing how unlikely it is for each of us to exist.