Help I was Born to be a loner, how can I be happy?

[lost_one]

I truly belive that, I have tried all my life to create conections tu people, and even as a kid I failed miserably (I don't know what is wrong with me, what makes me forgetable, or dislikable). I can't be sure what the future holds for me. But I want to embrace it, accept and embrace being a loner. It's fine to be alone. I am not trying to romaticize it or promote this or incentivise people to isolate. I will try to not isolate, but to accept that my relationships in life are doomed to be ephemeral, conditional and superficial.

I think the feeling is, if being surrounded by friends, and falling in love is beyind reach I want to at least be happy on my own. I want to "write" this story about the girl that was happy despite being alone. The story 12 year old me had always wanted to hear, the story that would have given her solace. if I can't hope for conection, I can at least hope for some peace, some happy.

I guess that is a purpose for my life, even if it's an abstract one.

I will be the loner, the wanderer.

If anyone has any advice on truly getting there, I will gladly appreciate. I know self-love is important, and I hate myself, and I want to work on that, I want to appreciate my own company, and accept, my flaws, my mistakes and my past.

 

[timf]

We are all born helpless, ignorant, and selfish. Depending on the quality of care we get from parents, we usually learn to take care of ourselves, and enough knowledge to be able to get a job and earn a living. The big problem is our intrinsic selfishness. The core problem with the human condition is that we need others and are drawn to them, but our selfishness drives us apart.

Up until 100 years ago people lived out their lives and died in the town where they were born. Large families with an extensive network of friends and relative created a social network that was both confining and reassuring.

Today it is much more difficult to make social connections. However, having few connections is much better than having toxic ones. If you can navigate a neutral state, you are much better off than those trapped in a toxic one. You have the freedom to dabble with social venues experimentally to see what opportunities may present themselves.

There are many ways in a big city to meet others through activities, athletics, church, hobbies, and volunteer work. Even in a small towns there are opportunities to forge friendships with others through whom other relationships might be formed. The key is to be truly interested to others. This is a bridge upon which relationships can be built.