Discussion I want to talk about ctb IRL without getting 'help' w preventing ctb

[curiouscvnt]

An essential dilemma for someone who's decided rather firmly that they're going to end their life.
Thing is, i want to talk to as many loved ones as possible about wanting to ctb, because not doing so feels like living a huge fucking lie and i don't want to live like that. I want to have the chance while alive to communicate why i don't want to continue til a natural / later death. But i don't want people to take my talking as asking for help in preventing me from ending my life. That's why I'm on this site.

Has anyone here communicated their desire for ending their life with someone who they know personally, without 'asking for help' with suicide prevention? How'd that go?
If you haven't, do you have any thoughts on doing so?

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

I have and it doesn't go well. No one understands and they try to help you anyway. You could leave notes explaining things instead

 

[platypus77]

Yeah, that's definitely not easy to find.

I know therapists that would reject their patients right after their came out clean about it.

I was ready to CTB last month, in my last appointment with my psychiatrist I told her about my ideations. Not sure what is going to happen now, but I don't intend to go back to medication so soon, as they always only worsen my depression and the near CTB experience changed my way of seeing life.

During my teens I had this one friend which was also suicidal to talk about, we used to research and share methods but obviously we didn't managed to do it. I guess if I got that point once again I could reach out to him and he would say "I get it".

If you're really decided to CTB and want to have this last experience. I'd say, life has already taken so much of you, why not?

 

[LostLily]

Most people don't understand our desire, so it is hard to find someone who will do that

 

[cme-dme]

My friends know I struggle with mental health and sometimes feel suicidal but I think if I genuinely expressed that I was going to commit suicide they would try to contact my mom or somebody I know IRL. It's not easy to get people to understand being pro-choice. It goes against the most fundamental parts of human society and you have to be especially open minded to understand it. I don't blame people for being pro-life nor do I expect anybody to understand my feelings on the matter.

 

[curiouscvnt]

Yes; relatively few people 'understand' suicidality (hell, i doubt i understand even most of it...). I don't expect other people, even the most compassionate person, to understand it or me. What i really look for is respect and at least a lessening of the impulse to act on the notion that 'if someone wants to die, they're wrong somehow and that means that they must be helped to prevent their suicide.'
Using another topic as an example -- I don't understand completely why many people choose to be monogamous, but i will respectfully listen to and ask questions, if welcome, to a friend or family member who wishes to talk about their monogamous relationships / how they have chosen them. It's their choice, and i don't think i have to understand it fully to empathize and be a compassionate person toward them.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I've only ever expressed it to people who feel the same- a similar experience as here really. Or, people who were very empathetic. But, more along the lines of- I've had ideation for decades. So more that- to know me really well, you probably need to know that part of me also. Whether they truly believe I'll act on it one day is uncertain. Plus, one or two people who just seemed very pro-choice. In which case, it was a more general discussion around the right to die. No one's ever given the indication that they would try to stop me although, it's never been obvious it was an imminent actual possibility.

Sometimes, now even, I wonder just how long I can keep holding on (for my Dad.) So, there have been times I just wanted to tell him to warn him. I think that could be as upsetting for him as actually doing it though and I'm still not sure I can put him through it anyway so, seems kinder to try to keep it quiet.

I texted a friend the other day though that I did intend to cut my life short. They've had ideation themselves and even attempts in the past. They pretty much ignored it. Still, I thought it better to prepare them. They are one of the few people I keep in touch with semi- regularly. This gives them the chance to break that off if they prefer.

I think other people may try to help though and, that's not what I want. It very likely wouldn't help then, they might worry they didn't do enough. This way, they wouldn't have even known to reach out. Plus, I'll try to make it clear in notes that there's nothing anyone could have done.

Is it mainly friends or family you feel tempted to tell? Do you think they suspect anyway?

Sometimes, I feel like I've already said enough for my Dad to pick up on but, he hasn't. Maybe he just doesn't want to though. I think I would have twigged if I were him though.

 

[LigottiIsRight]

I've only talked about it with people that share a similar viewpoint. I'd like to be able to speak freely with my parents about my wordview and desire to end my life, but I cannot take the risk of them taking the preventionist way (which is the most likely to happen).

 

[Well_Its_Time]

I communicated with a friend of mine and she has been extremely supportive. She doesn't want me to die but she understands my situation and respects my wishes.

 

[curiouscvnt]

I've only ever expressed it to people who feel the same- a similar experience as here really. Or, people who were very empathetic. But, more along the lines of- I've had ideation for decades. So more that- to know me really well, you probably need to know that part of me also. Whether they truly believe I'll act on it one day is uncertain. Plus, one or two people who just seemed very pro-choice. In which case, it was a more general discussion around the right to die. No one's ever given the indication that they would try to stop me although, it's never been obvious it was an imminent actual possibility.

Sometimes, now even, I wonder just how long I can keep holding on (for my Dad.) So, there have been times I just wanted to tell him to warn him. I think that could be as upsetting for him as actually doing it though and I'm still not sure I can put him through it anyway so, seems kinder to try to keep it quiet.

I texted a friend the other day though that I did intend to cut my life short. They've had ideation themselves and even attempts in the past. They pretty much ignored it. Still, I thought it better to prepare them. They are one of the few people I keep in touch with semi- regularly. This gives them the chance to break that off if they prefer.

I think other people may try to help though and, that's not what I want. It very likely wouldn't help then, they might worry they didn't do enough. This way, they wouldn't have even known to reach out. Plus, I'll try to make it clear in notes that there's nothing anyone could have done.

Is it mainly friends or family you feel tempted to tell? Do you think they suspect anyway?

Sometimes, I feel like I've already said enough for my Dad to pick up on but, he hasn't. Maybe he just doesn't want to though. I think I would have twigged if I were him though.

i want to talk to my closest friends and family. I've told some friends of my suicidal thoughts but not about the plans I've made. I don't think anyone suspects that I've made plans, other than one person who knows what means I'll use. And that person is not someone who i regularly encounter or consider a close friend or family.

 

[Well_Its_Time]

I think those that love you will later say that they didn't think you were serious or overdramatic. This shit always happens

 

[Monique696]

I had a friend I could talk to about cbt and the methods etc. Sadly she died over a year ago. Well not sadly but it still is sad even if it was her own will and greatest wish.
I miss her and our friendship and it would be beautiful to find a relationship like ours again. No blame just two adults supporting each other.

 

[curiouscvnt]

I had a friend I could talk to about cbt and the methods etc. Sadly she died over a year ago. Well not sadly but it still is sad even if it was her own will and greatest wish.
I miss her and our friendship and it would be beautiful to find a relationship like ours again. No blame just two adults supporting each other.

That is a loss, and it sounds like you had a remarkable relationship. How'd you start talking about ctb?

 

[Monique696]

That is a loss, and it sounds like you had a remarkable relationship. How'd you start talking about ctb?

We met here on this forum. Became friends and then she left with pegasos (it's a swiss organization for assisted suicide) she also had n for a backup since it was shaky with the organization back in the day.

 

[SilentSadness]

I'm sorry but what you're asking for doesn't exist, most people are vehemently against suicide and fully willing to abuse and torture suicidal people for expressing their opinions. It's an exaggeration because I'm angry but it's pretty much accurate. I hope you find peace