T

Thatdude

Life is temporary, death is permanent
Sep 26, 2019
479
# Location:

USA NC

# Me:

Male, mid 30s, no debt and never taken out a loan, disabled

I have 4 stem degrees (aerospace, general computer, network, and a higher network with a focus of cyber security) but I've largely been unemployed for over a decade. Like I've done odd things and try to do 3D printing on Etsy and other things like that. I'm still trying some of that, but the amount I make is between $0 - $250 a year.

Note I don't have student loans. Pell Grant, VR, and scholarships paid for my schooling.

# Amount I have:

My income is near $0. But with all the stuff I have done throughout my life, investments, etc. I have somewhere around $5k in assets and stuff. Note I wasn't given money and I earn it mostly through investing since I was 18. Selling my assets makes it where I can't earn anymore money at all. My ROI is about 20% on average. 10% on bad years. While it seems good on the face of it. Keep in mind if say you only have $100. That's $10 to $20 per year. As I only have a few thousand, it is little to nothing in returns $ wise. But it is all I have.

Living situation: I live with my parents.



# Why do I have employment problems:

I can't drive most days, and sometimes I have a hard time functioning. My sense of danger goes out the window to the point it can be a danger to myself and others. For example, one time when it got really bad. As I was in the passenger side I seen the red lights behind cars and I couldn't figure out why they were red and there was 0 indication in my mind to even slow down. I've had problems where I would stand next to fire on a grill, it shooting up higher than me, and it even hurting me. And nothing in my mind at that time said move away from the fire and that was hurting me, turn down the grill, etc. While I recover, as you maybe able to tell the lapse can be extremely problematic.

And then there is memory problems to the extreme of I can't remember names of people I deal with daily, I can't remember how to do things, or even how to write the word "help". I legit had to google that one up. Then there is extreme sensitivities to light, sound, social problems due to autism, and so on. It should be noted that I have to reteach myself technical stuff once in a while. Like it isn't like starting from 0, but during high stress moments I lose a lot of info.


Remote isn't really an option as due to the lack of remote jobs. Like most places want hybrid but or for me to move. But I need to be near my support network or afford to buy support. And full remote isn't really a thing for entry level or even anyone higher up unless you get into customer service, and the above should tell you that shouldn't work that well.

I have to use tools to help me communicate on a daily bases. In extreme cases I can't communicate at all.

It should be noted that my abilities have decreased and keep decreasing over time. That started to sharply go down hill after 25 to noticeable dangerous levels.

# Situation:

Due to my life, I had no choice but to basically take things as they come. I am more than less used as slave labor by my folks. No in the they are abusing me way, but in the if I don't jump through hoops then there is a very real risk of being homeless. I don't mind helping out around the place, but like this weekend I have to fix a pipe in the wall my sister's kid broke, I have to fix my sister's truck with my dad, I have to help him install an AC system in a room, I have to do some events I don't want to be apart of, and so on. During the week it is no better, and often every day I have to jump through hoops fixing things, preparing to deal with stuff, doing yard work, etc. Like there is no day off and even when I was sick I was expected to jump. While on the face of it it seems abusive, keep in mind they don't have to allow me to live here. On top of this, my drug addict drunk sister who is a literal sociopath and can get violent can come and go at any moment. She starts wars often with my parents, and any problem she has I have to stop and fix. In fact, any problem anyone else has I am expected to stop and fix.


My needs are always last. Since I don't have really that much in income and a lot of it goes into investment or trying the next thing to make money to hopefully pull myself out of this and to earn basic independence. I don't have money for basics like clothes and what not and I have to watch every cent where it goes.



I've looked into gov help and it is possible I missed something. I've tried VR but they are a joke. This sadly is actually pretty common. They are great in getting you into a retail job and in school. But many across the USA have had similar experiences that it's more of a miss than hit when it comes to outside of that. I'm above the asset limit for SSI. I don't have the work credits for SSDI. My parents are too young for me to be on DAC, but even if they weren't or if they were dead. I talked to some lawyers and they said because I held a job in 2012 for a month, this will be used against me. I don't know of any other system out there to help or any grants.

The good news is my parents don't charge me rent or charge me for food.



What I know is my toxic environment is hurting me, but I have to play the lesser of 2 evils. And it appears from my end my choices is to live like this, go homeless/death, or start doing some illegal stuff and hope that works out. Obviously doing illegal stuff is off the table since IDK where to even start with that. And homeless to me = death since I'm not going through that after all the other BS I dealt with in my life.

Sometimes like right now I have moments of clarity and I try extremely hard to get out of the situation knowing these moments don't last. Like I always keep trying, but when my abilities allow me. I put in extreme effort in moments like this but I feel like I tried every method I can think of legally.

# Goal:

Honestly, I would love to be independent and worked way out of poverty while being away from my current support system.

Is this a realistic goal?

I worry this is the best it gets for me.
 
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