Venting I want to die but i dont but i cant live like this

[sickgirlzis]

i wish i could just restart as a normal person with a good life. ive always wanted to just get on with it and fix my life and have a nice life happy family and whatnot but I don't know if things will work out that way. especially hard since i have autism adhd and probably depression and some sort of anxiety (not to mention im a neet hikikomori w no plans of changing lifestyle.) i don't even know the point of anything anymore. yeah, I've always considered the point of life to be happy, but im sure as hell not happy, and I don't know if I ever will be? it's so so easy yet so hard to just decide to ctb, but I can't. how long can I just ask "what if?" at what point is it really over for me? I haven't even been on here because it made me feel negative (despite getting to have interaction with other humans) but at the end of the day I'm still a bedrotting loser so nothing has really changed. I'm so scared of living another day and yet I'm scared of never waking up again. this doesn't even make any sense ffs
I just need to go to bed

 

[illuposolitarioita]

non è mai tardi per cambiare le cose, devi trovare una motivazione per cambiare la tua vita e vivere brother