Venting I want to die because I am afraid of losing control

[Nutmeg]

I have more than 5 reasons why I wanna ctb but the strongest one is the fear of losing control. I don't wanna end up an old vegetable in a nursing home waiting people to feed me the food they want and clean my body whenever they want. I wanna ctb as soon as possible cuz I still have the ability to make a plan and execute it because I am sure nobody will do it for me if I lose control and I am worried about that.
Does anybody feel the same way?

 

[Ghost2211]

I understand. Getting old sounds horrible and scary. I don't want to watch my health and mental capabilities decrease while people force me to live in a depleted state. I really don't understand why anyone wants to get old.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

yeah, i understand. i don't want to be treated like shit because i can't do everything on my own. not to mention that people most likely won't care about you once your needs increase.

 

[fat feet]

I have more than 5 reasons why I wanna ctb but the strongest one is the fear of losing control. I don't wanna end up an old vegetable in a nursing home waiting people to feed me the food they want and clean my body whenever they want. I wanna ctb as soon as possible cuz I still have the ability to make a plan and execute it because I am sure nobody will do it for me if I lose control and I am worried about that.
Does anybody feel the same way?

I am 57. I am living in a area where there are a lot of old folks homes. I have always been afraid of being old, and being alone. It seems I am going to be both.
I watch these people and I wonder why they want to stay around waiting to die. It seems like a waste of time and money I could give to my child that would be able to make a life out of it.

 

[SuicidalDream]

I feel that way too. It gets scarier as I see my grandmother's dementia get worse. Nothing terrifies me more than aging.

 

[Throwmyselfaway]

I get it. My grandmother had dementia for damn near 30 years. That would be about 3/4 of my life I watched that. For the last 5 years of her life I helped out with her when I could then was in the hospital and hospice every day til the end. I don't want to go that way. If for some reason I don't ctb soonish I wont stick around if I start showing systems to dementia.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

I experience suicidal thoughts when I think about my future. A blurry future. A worse scenario than the actual one. And that's why I prefer ctb because I don't want to see how things get worse. Prefer leaving like this and not see how my reality becomes worse.

 

[Superdeterminist]

This is a distant concern for me, but it's a very real one for all of us. Loss of function and faculties is inevitable, assuming you live long enough. It isn't a fun time for anyone, and so many are ready to go by then, hell I know I would be. Pro-lifers really need to consider this as yet another reason why we need to start seriously considering assisted suicide.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

I am definitely terrified of this and it's a huge reason for me wanting to CTB. Aside from the possibility of being old and living in a nursing home, there are so many other horrible things that could happen even while I am still young. I could get in an accident with a drunk driver on my way home from work one day and end up with severe physical disabilities that make it difficult or impossible to take care of myself if I get injured badly enough. I could end up getting cancer and having to go through a bunch of surgeries or chemo and being too sick to do anything (unless I am diagnosed early and can CTB before it gets bad enough that other people have to make these decisions for me). The worst outcome of all would be losing the ability to end my own life and having other people force me to stay alive because they can't let me go, regardless of how it happens.

It would be better for me to die young while I'm still somewhat healthy, before any of those terrible things can happen. The future with all of it's dark, hidden possibilities terrifies me so much that I have no desire to see it. Sometimes I wish I could be like everyone else and pretend that nothing bad is going to happen to me, but I can't. I can't live a happy life knowing that these things could happen at any time.