Venting i want to date a guy like me

[sanctionedusage]

i saw a picture of a guy i thought was cute and read a few relatable captions that were sad but made me more attracted to him because it was pretty real. then, opened the comments and realized it's an edit of a fucking mass shooter.

the content/the backstories in all of these are never impressive either. it's always 'oh im alone, anxious, alienated, suicidal, abused, awkward, a little bit sexist/racist, a virgin, and a NEET,' just like me and millions of others. it's not that crazy or concerning. this is the kind of guy I'd develop a crush on and date because he's relatable to my exact struggles; so what's with the random temper tantrum, ar15 edition? why is it consistently young men as well, dealing with what i classify as moderate first-world problems with the most extreme public freakouts?

i just wanna date a guy who'd match me without feeling like one of those dumb hoes that thinks, "i know him; he wouldn't do that to me."

and if i did date one even for suicidal purposes, post-mortem id just be ridiculed by my family for dating someone like that and lolcowd by incels as another bitch choosing a monster over a niceguy.

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

a little bit sexist/racist, a virgin, and a NEET,' just like me and millions of others.

Might wanna rephrase this

 

[martyrdom]

why is it consistently young men as well, dealing with what i classify as moderate first-world problems with the most extreme public freakouts?

Because they, due to their socialization as men, have a sense of entitlement and react vengefully when they're not handed what they believe they are owed by life. I'm a man and it's very obvious to me that we are socialized in a way that creates this kind of entitlement + plus male glorification of violence

 

[sanctionedusage]

Might wanna rephrase this

not to be ultra woke on sasu but everyone has preconceived biases they have to identify and try to manage, whether you wanna admit it or not





and i am a virgin neet

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

not to be ultra woke on sasu but everyone has preconceived biases they have to identify and try to manage, whether you wanna admit it or not





and i am a virgin neet

Yeah, but there's a difference between biases and using slurs like many of those people have. A lot did it when they were young, sure, but whenever people call themselves "a little bit sexist/racist due to bias," it comes off as a bit virtue-signally. Those people were on average a bit more than "slightly" bigoted.

Also, I'm a NEET too.

 

[sanctionedusage]

Yeah, but there's a difference between biases and using slurs like many of those people have. A lot did it when they were young, sure, but whenever people call themselves "a little bit sexist/racist due to bias," it comes off as a bit virtue-signally. Those people were on average a bit more than "slightly" bigoted.

Also, I'm a NEET too.

i feel like its equally sexist to assume most men would pose a threat to me because they're male as it would be racist to assume an asian wouldn't compared to another race— both based on statistics and not derogatory, but still biases. racism and sexism ARE bias, not 'due to bias.' if you want to nitpick and say "its only an -ism if you discriminate," i mean.. i can't imagine how thinking something sexist/racist isn't discrimination or a discriminatory thought. pretty funny to think of calling myself sexist/racist as virtue signaling just because i'm not calling people slurs or flaunting my shittier opinions to prove it on an irrelevant post.

you're still proving the entire point of my post— someone making an edgy comment like I just did in the original post can mean something as minimal as someone with just 'biases' they're aware of, or someone who'd actually target poc's in a shooting. the whole point of what i wrote is that it's annoying to not be able to tell the extent of how someone deals with the exact same thought/feeling, largely because of their gender and social conditioning.

 

[Pluto]

 

[Dinorun]

first thing sorry im an ESL

That post made me a bit sad. Its one of those loud minority situations.
yeah i (admittedly ashamedly) fall for most of those tags like - (alone, anxious, alienated, suicidal, abused, awkward, a virgin, although id never label myself as such).

we just live our life quietly, doing our thing going literally unnoticed. invisible.
like you said yourself there's millions like us, it can be the guy on the bus looking from the window.
the guy running outside, the one sitting on a bench pondering, those who lark in those forums.

I and im sure most people my situation do not hold any feelings of hate or resentment towards anyone i understand that if i was someone more adjusted I probably wouldnt really interact with myself either. i still try. try to communicate, volunteer, go outside.

its saddens me to see that when ever a group of people similar to me are talked about
they are always orchestrated and grouped with the most despicable kinds like the "hateful incels" or "mass shooters" which are such a zero precentile of the people, like cman.
the 99.999% of people who just live their life.

you wrote -
so what's with the random temper tantrum, ar15 edition? why is it consistently young men as well, dealing with what i classify as moderate first-world problems with the most extreme public freakouts?

its like going to a racial group of hard working people and asking why 0.01% are involved in crime or why 0.01% of you commit suicide


i dont know why im even writing this, i think i had enough internet for today

 

[Dejected 55]

For any group of people, they are typically identified and labeled by the behaviors of the minority of that group. That's how people seem to be wired. Stereotypes exist for a reason. Not because all people are stereotypical OR because those who are label themselves... but because most everyone else likes to describe people by the lowest common denominator.

XXX people are lazy... YYY people are good at math... ZZZ people are more apt to assault you... I could go on and on, and with specific examples... but then I'd be labeled into a group of people too. I have been... multiple times... on this forum even. You step just a little bit outside the neat lines into nuance territory and along will come the people who feel compelled to label you as the worst thing they can imagine.

Most people seem to be wired to make these connections. It doesn't matter that the literal worst of humanity is always a minority of the larger group... we only tend to notice the worst, loudest ones and then just assume everyone else is like them.

People will say "but you don't know so it's good to be careful just in case". except they do not apply that to all situations. A bad apple can spoil the bunch, but have people stopped eating apples because they don't know if halfway down the barrel there might be a bad apple that is already spoiling things? Nope. They eat apples until they find a bad one... then chuck it... then carefully check all the ones around the bad one before going back to eating apples again.

But with people... we tend to want to just cut off entire genders or races if we ever have one or two bad experiences... or maybe we've known other people who also have had bad experiences, so that feeds the fire and we just decide all such people are "that way" and treat them all as if they personally harmed us already.

It's really kind of fucked up... and, oh by the way, many of us are here because we feel disconnected and discarded and that no one listens or understands us... because, you know, they have lumped us into the "crazies" group and treat us all as if we were the same... but then within our little group where you think you have like-minded people who know what its like to be marginalized... what happens? Cliques form here too and you will be judged here too.

People are wired to do this shit... and it helps no one. It also discourages open communication and seeking help when you are afraid you will say a "wrong" word and be forever thrown into one of the bad groups of people and ignored and pre-judged because of it.