Venting I want to ctb so fucking badly but I can’t any time soon.

[アホペンギン]

I want to ctb so much, I'm so close to perfecting my plan but i can't get the SN and antiemetics because my stupid family will be watching me from now on after i attempted ctb a week or two ago. They completely disregard and deny the fact that they are the sole reason as to why i feel this way yet they're still forcing me to stay alive, as if anything will ever get better. They destroyed my mental health, took away all hope and now i can't do anything. I have no motivation to do anything, all i think about is ctb.

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

i read a lot of your posts. i think this was the most personal.. forgive me if i forgot some. so sorry you are in that position. i just don't know what to say.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

It's so awful what you have to go through and it's so incredibly inhumane how people are treated who only want to leave this world. I hope you find a a suitable way and peace!

 

[FuneralCry]

I certainly understand that it's so dreadful feeling trapped here, it's just so cruel forcing someone to suffer when they wish to leave this existence they aren't obligated to endure. I see it as being so horrible how we cannot just leave this world in peace in a guaranteed way, but anyway best wishes.

 

[CW36]

They'll surely let down their guard at some point right? Families often suck. Too many egos or too many conflicting views and interests. I hope you don't have to wait long.

 

[bluebus]

I am so sorry that you are going through this. I don't have any advice but I want you to know that I understand your pain. I hope you can find peace soon <3

 

[moggedtodeath]

Do they look at the mail that you receive? If so, you can order some clothing or something to mask the fact that you ordered SN. Try getting the prescription through your doctor as well so you can just pick it up at a pharmacy instead. That's what I did.