NSFW I want to CTB by slashing. I need help to build tolerance to blades.

[l1felover]

Even if I don't carry out with it, I still want advice on how I can get over my anxiety surrounding knives and blades, so I can more efficiently sh. I know I'm supposed to have an instinct to not hurt myself, but it's deeper than that because I can burn myself and hit myself hard. I think I have a deeper thing with blades that I want to get over. If I were to carry out CTB, it would be to slash myself vertically on both arms, and possibly my neck as well. At the very least I want to slit my wrists and bleed out in some way. I have a fear of blades. My sh isn't very bad right now, only cat scratches and I haven't done it in about a month or two, but I want some advice on how to get over my brain being afraid. It's important to me that the way I die is by bleeding out. I really don't want to take pills again. I also feel obligated to punish myself, and sh feels like the right way to do it. Any advice?

 

[vanibless]

Unpleasant way to go and even if you cut deep enough then you would have to hit the right spot. Idk about overcoming the fear of blades I mean you can see people on shtwt cutting to the beans or deeper but I think they're on drugs or something.

 

[needthebus]

Even if I don't carry out with it, I still want advice on how I can get over my anxiety surrounding knives and blades, so I can more efficiently sh. I know I'm supposed to have an instinct to not hurt myself, but it's deeper than that because I can burn myself and hit myself hard. I think I have a deeper thing with blades that I want to get over. If I were to carry out CTB, it would be to slash myself vertically on both arms, and possibly my neck as well. At the very least I want to slit my wrists and bleed out in some way. I have a fear of blades. My sh isn't very bad right now, only cat scratches and I haven't done it in about a month or two, but I want some advice on how to get over my brain being afraid. It's important to me that the way I die is by bleeding out. I really don't want to take pills again. I also feel obligated to punish myself, and sh feels like the right way to do it. Any advice?

do you have schizophrenia? it sounds sort of irrational and compulsive to want yourself to hurt this way. Are you in your right mind?

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Idk about overcoming the fear of blades I mean you can see people on shtwt cutting to the beans or deeper but I think they're on drugs or something.

You'll be amazed by how quickly some grow to become desensitized to cutting that deep. The first time I hit the bean, I was terrified. Not that long afterward, I found myself hitting the top of the bean layer several times, and at one point (while I was in the middle of continuously trying and failing to ctb via hanging) I ended up cutting into the fat layer. I still find myself wishing that I had cut deeper and longer (my cuts were usually small lengthwise. Examples:

Spoiler: Slight TW

). You also have to take into consideration the competitiveness of self-harm and how a lot of SHers feel like their SH isn't valid. I still find myself wishing that I had cut deeper and made my cuts longer because I still feel like my SH isn't valid. I can't do shit now because my parents know about it, which sucks. Plus, I'd probably end up causing my bf to become stressed out and he already has his own shit to deal with. It sucks. Anyway, shtwt is a competitive environment where a lot of invalidation goes on. People apart of that community usually feel pressured into cutting as deep as possible to keep up and to feel validated. SH is basically encouraged by members of that community. It's a mess. You don't need drugs to cut deep. You just need to be desensitized and have a high enough pain tolerance, along with enough motivation to do so.


@l1felover The method you are choosing is a pretty unreliable one. You are more likely to survive with permanent bodily damage than you are to succeed. Said damage might also end up increasing your suffering and make life even more unbearable. Most of the users on here do not recommend the method you want to use for a reason (and I'm saying this as someone who wishes they could die by slashing their arms).

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I'm not going to give advice on how to sh because, firstly, I don't know and, secondly, I don't want to give advice to people that causes them to harm themselves as I'm anti suffering. I just want to say that cutting isn't a good suicide method as you'd survive it. It's referred as a non method on this site