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I

IHadEnough

Member
Mar 27, 2023
5
So basically i want to cbt because i lost meaning of life. I don't have friends. My ex hates me. I just want to end my suffering.
The problem is I can't overdose.
I thought about jumping because I'm afraid of hanging and I don't have a gun or a car.
I will leave a note to my parents so they know it's not their fault or smth.
I don't know if I should jump of bridge but there's river underneath, I am also thinking about jumping in front of a car, but then I don't want someone to have trauma.
Why can't i just disappear...
 
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rorowanttogetout👍🏽

rorowanttogetout👍🏽

Member
Mar 27, 2023
18
That's really really sucks my heart goes out for you ، for me , for us all
 
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PrettyKitty

PrettyKitty

Angel
Mar 27, 2023
180
I'm really sorry for you I'm also currently trying to figure out my method and plan for myself too. I hope you can find peace but if you don't I wish a peaceful way out. Best wishes <3
 
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I

IHadEnough

Member
Mar 27, 2023
5
I think i will just jump of the bridge i guess it's high enough. I will do it in couple days because i need some mental prep. I will do it at evening when will be dark so it would be harder to find my body or see me when i jump and I will tell my parents that I'm with friends or waiting for the bus.
I made some notes for family and friends on my phone and do I send it to them before I jump or just let them find my phone and they'll find it on their own?
 
Viranamari

Viranamari

A Future Corpse
Feb 22, 2023
293
Jumping will have a lot of survival instincts. You'd also have to jump from a certain height to guarantee death. There are other factors like your weight or where you landed from the jump so I don't find it too reliable. Failing the attempt is obviously undesirable. It requires a lot of mental strength so you need to prepare yourself. Nembutal would be the best method but unfortunately, it's not accessible. In the end, the method is completely up to you and I hope that you find your desired method soon.
 
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I

IHadEnough

Member
Mar 27, 2023
5
Jumping will have a lot of survival instincts. You'd also have to jump from a certain height to guarantee death. There are other factors like your weight or where you landed from the jump so I don't find it too reliable. Failing the attempt is obviously undesirable. It requires a lot of mental strength so you need to prepare yourself. Nembutal would be the best method but unfortunately, it's not accessible. In the end, the method is completely up to you and I hope that you find your desired method soon.
I mean i would jump of the bridge to water so if I did survive I would drown. It'll be dark outside so no-one would be able to see me and to try to "help".

Worst scenario that I would drown but still I will die not painless but there'll be no way to go back.
 
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jdog2498

jdog2498

Member
Dec 8, 2022
60
probably sn and meto, most peaceful/accessible. rope is quick though very demanding of willpower. i'd say if your mad at all these people, you should probably find other ways to vent anger, than to attempt CTB. if you can't express your violence on others, you'll have no where to put it but yourself
 
I

IHadEnough

Member
Mar 27, 2023
5
probably sn and meto, most peaceful/accessible. rope is quick though very demanding of willpower. i'd say if your mad at all these people, you should probably find other ways to vent anger, than to attempt CTB. if you can't express your violence on others, you'll have no where to put it but yourself
I'm not mad at them I just lost them and my will to live. I'm from Poland I'm afraid I can't get sn and meto. And I'm scared of hanging myself I know that I won't be able to do it. Day after day I'm getting more and more suicidal and miserable, I tried therapy but it didn't help me.
 
Lavander 230

Lavander 230

Student
Mar 3, 2023
109
So basically i want to cbt because i lost meaning of life. I don't have friends. My ex hates me. I just want to end my suffering.
The problem is I can't overdose.
I thought about jumping because I'm afraid of hanging and I don't have a gun or a car.
I will leave a note to my parents so they know it's not their fault or smth.
I don't know if I should jump of bridge but there's river underneath, I am also thinking about jumping in front of a car, but then I don't want someone to have trauma.
Why can't i just disappear...
I'm sorry, what? I don't have friends either, but it's not like I can't find friends, it's just I'm more of a lone wolf type of person. Are friends and ex all that important to you?
 
jdog2498

jdog2498

Member
Dec 8, 2022
60
throat numbing spray can cause methemoglobinemia, i think there are some other chemicals/nitrites on ebay that can cause it too. jumping could work, in San Francisco the golden gate bridge is commonly used to CTB. I think it has to be about 6~ stories high, maybe you could meditate beforehand to calm your nerves/SI. alcohol also is good to dull SI. i think hanging could work too. it is a bit scary but if you had a private location you could work on it for a few hours. at that point it would be more about managing survival instinct than method. for me the idea of being conscious before the neck snaps is what really scares me. there is also partial which is a bit more cozy and has a higher success rate. it is really hard to lose consciousness! anything short of pure anesthesia and the brain is quite good at staying awake. illicit drugs and trains are more ideas, drowning is another. you could also try mixing drugs, like alcohol, lithium, etc. not many options. you could tell your pharmacist that you are going on a trip to Africa or the Mediterranean soon, and ask for something like hydroxychloroquine for mosquitos. I honestly would say that SN is your best bet though, and I've heard of people getting in Germany or similar countries.
 
I

IHadEnough

Member
Mar 27, 2023
5
I'm sorry, what? I don't have friends either, but it's not like I can't find friends, it's just I'm more of a lone wolf type of person. Are friends and ex all that important to you?
My ex was basically the only one that i lived for but now we don't even talk. I rarely spoke with my friends I think they just talked to me out of pity. I have social anxiety and tried to find friends but it didn't work.
throat numbing spray can cause methemoglobinemia, i think there are some other chemicals/nitrites on ebay that can cause it too. jumping could work, in San Francisco the golden gate bridge is commonly used to CTB. I think it has to be about 6~ stories high, maybe you could meditate beforehand to calm your nerves/SI. alcohol also is good to dull SI. i think hanging could work too. it is a bit scary but if you had a private location you could work on it for a few hours. at that point it would be more about managing survival instinct than method. for me the idea of being conscious before the neck snaps is what really scares me. there is also partial which is a bit more cozy and has a higher success rate. it is really hard to lose consciousness! anything short of pure anesthesia and the brain is quite good at staying awake. illicit drugs and trains are more ideas, drowning is another. you could also try mixing drugs, like alcohol, lithium, etc. not many options. you could tell your pharmacist that you are going on a trip to Africa or the Mediterranean soon, and ask for something like hydroxychloroquine for mosquitos. I honestly would say that SN is your best bet though, and I've heard of people getting in Germany or similar countries.
I will look into sn but I don't think that I'll be able to get it. I guess I will stick to jumping thanks for your help. I hope that when I jump it will all be over and I won't wake up ever again.
 
Last edited:
Lavander 230

Lavander 230

Student
Mar 3, 2023
109
You don't have to live for anyone but yourself. I have social anxiety too but I'm much happier being alone. Even if I was to play an online game, I'd much rather play alone than with friends. Thing is, when a friend wants to play with me, you can't leave whenever you want otherwise he/she could think that I'm being rude, so basically I'm forced to stay in the game with them unless there's some kind of emergency happening or I'd have to lie/make an excuse. It's not that I don't dislike having friends/significant other but when you're alone you have much more freedom. Think about this, many people would be jealous of the life that I'm having.
 
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