Venting I want a future

[water bunny]

When i think of my future i imagine laughing together with my loved ones and just enjoying each others' company. But i then remember how much of a burden i am to all of them. I rarely vent about my feelings anymore because it gives them another problem to deal with. They'd be happy to comfort me, but it makes me feel guilty because i have no right to take away their precious time for my own problems. I wish i could have a future. In another way it feels like they won't be here anymore because i'm such an annoyance. What is the point of living when you trouble others with your very existence? It hurts to wake up to another morning. I wish i could choose to be invisible. I wish SN wasn't controlled in my country. If only i could release myself from disrupting the lives of my close ones so they could be happier. I recently developed new insecurities regarding my appearance so i often feel my friends are humiliated to be around someone so ugly. I can't be truly loved in this life. I want a future that is simple yet impossible to attain. I wish my family and partner could love me whole. Then i'd have meant something in this life.

 

[deadbody]

I rarely vent about my feelings anymore because it gives them another problem to deal with. They'd be happy to comfort me, but it makes me feel guilty because i have no right to take away their precious time for my own problems.

I can relate to it. Very often we want to wear the mask of a normal person so as not to give others a reason to worry.

I wish my family and partner could love me whole. Then i'd have meant something in this life.

It pains me to read such words. I wish you really had people with whom you can share anything and they would not dismiss your words as an exaggeration. Send you a virtual hug, dude. I want you to feel my support.

 

[Arcitect]

Sorry to hear you feel that way. From one burden to another I understand how you feel. I hope you can find someone who cares about you as much as you deserve.
I've always had this saying, I hope it'll help you. "If I don't have [INSERT HERE], then I'll claw, crawl, and force my way there". I like to think it means that as long as you put effort in and persist then you'll achieve your goal.

 

[Enlighten]

When i think of my future i imagine laughing together with my loved ones and just enjoying each others' company. But i then remember how much of a burden i am to all of them. I rarely vent about my feelings anymore because it gives them another problem to deal with. They'd be happy to comfort me, but it makes me feel guilty because i have no right to take away their precious time for my own problems. I wish i could have a future. In another way it feels like they won't be here anymore because i'm such an annoyance. What is the point of living when you trouble others with your very existence? It hurts to wake up to another morning. I wish i could choose to be invisible. I wish SN wasn't controlled in my country. If only i could release myself from disrupting the lives of my close ones so they could be happier. I recently developed new insecurities regarding my appearance so i often feel my friends are humiliated to be around someone so ugly. I can't be truly loved in this life. I want a future that is simple yet impossible to attain. I wish my family and partner could love me whole. Then i'd have meant something in this life.

It really hurts me to keep reading these sad posts... You should not suffer like this. Do you want to talk about it?

 

[water bunny]

@deadbody I wish for that too. I was once asked to be grateful for a roof over my head and for food. I get that they're right but it didn't help me at all. It made me feel like i was overexaggerating my experiences (could be because i'm naturally an emotional person so i feel the smallest of things on a deeper level)

@Arcitect thank you for the quote! It made me feel a little better :D i'll try to have your energy when i'm downn

@Enlighten i'm okay with talking about it
It's comforting to know that someone here bothers with me so i really want to thank you for caring about me and responding to my vents