etherealgoddess
perseverance is inevitable success
- Dec 8, 2022
- 196
My experience won't help everyone, but I know I can help at least one person. I used to be on here all the time. I wanted to end it. I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I was constantly suffering. It took me 7 years to finally end my depression permanently and for good, and I wanted to help people get on track to recovery.
I essentially had severe depression, anxiety, ADHD, OCD, OCPD, and severe migraines for seven years. I had no idea why I had migraines that only went away if I played video games or scrolled. I kept experimenting with different healing methods. I'd do lots of journaling to analyze my thought patterns. I would do affirmations. I would try to convince myself to feel a certain way. These didn't give me the results I needed. It was still hard to wake up every day and WANT to live, not survive. It took me 7 years of insane persistence to find something that actually worked PERMANENTLY.
Now I can say that I actually live my life in peace. I can feel my emotions. I am connected to myself. I have 0 interest in ending my life ever, even when it all goes bad. Relationship breakups don't hurt so bad anymore... it's a good cry, and I'm over it. When people do something irritating or disrespectful, I automatically walk away and don't bother to fight when it's unnecessary. I used to be very upset over people who didn't have good morals. I was super sensitive, and if I liked a guy, it could take me 4x longer than I knew him to get over him because it hurt so badly, or sometimes I'd have full-blown obsessions (not stalker but just mentally). I still feel negative emotions, but they don't control me, and they don't control the narrative of my life. I didn't even mention that it cured my insane migraines and 10/10 chronic fatigue. Before I was insanely persistent and knew there was light at the end of tunnel. Now I am bathing in the light.
This is what I did: somatic experiencing, EMDR, brainspotting, and neurofeedback. I essentially focused on doing inner child healing. Here's how it works:
Being a child is insanely traumatic. Emotions feel huge, and we are dependent. Emotional abandonment feels like you are going to risk your livelihood and die. The first five years of your life--if you feel very unloved or unsafe, that traumatizes you. This memory stores inside the body as not just as a memory but also stores as tension inside the nerves. It has two connections: the pain stuck in the nerves as well as your actual memory. Every time you were unloved or unsafe, that memory got stuck in your body like a thorn that never got taken out. You have severe depression because you have hundreds if not thousands of those thorns stuck inside. The key to get the thorn out is to essentially wrap the memory and yourself like a blanket with love. It is not about erasing the past or the memory. It is about wrapping yourself and the version of you who went through it with love and care. The memory isn't traumatic because you felt bad. Feeling bad isn't necessarily traumatic. It's because you felt unloved and/or unsafe. You essentially have to be the parent in all of those traumatic memories one-by-one. The key is to not fix the inner child's problem or convince them that they feel ok. The key is to comfort the inner child as if you found them after the feeling of being unloved or unsafe settled in. You make them feel loved and safe the way you needed it in that moment. The love actually heals your mind and nerves. This is not woowoo la la land. This is real. This changed my life. I am someone who was obsessed with psychology, and this is the only thing that worked for me. These changes were 100% permanent. I can actually enjoy my life now.
P.S. Something that was interesting is that feeling good and having a content life is way more chill than you think. It's not like highs and lows. It's just chillness almost all of the time.
I really hope this works for at least one person. I did do this on my own. Make sure to go slow with it because you don't want to exhaust your body and retraumatize yourself. It's better to get an expert, but I was too emotionally broken to do it with someone else because I had attachment issues.
I essentially had severe depression, anxiety, ADHD, OCD, OCPD, and severe migraines for seven years. I had no idea why I had migraines that only went away if I played video games or scrolled. I kept experimenting with different healing methods. I'd do lots of journaling to analyze my thought patterns. I would do affirmations. I would try to convince myself to feel a certain way. These didn't give me the results I needed. It was still hard to wake up every day and WANT to live, not survive. It took me 7 years of insane persistence to find something that actually worked PERMANENTLY.
Now I can say that I actually live my life in peace. I can feel my emotions. I am connected to myself. I have 0 interest in ending my life ever, even when it all goes bad. Relationship breakups don't hurt so bad anymore... it's a good cry, and I'm over it. When people do something irritating or disrespectful, I automatically walk away and don't bother to fight when it's unnecessary. I used to be very upset over people who didn't have good morals. I was super sensitive, and if I liked a guy, it could take me 4x longer than I knew him to get over him because it hurt so badly, or sometimes I'd have full-blown obsessions (not stalker but just mentally). I still feel negative emotions, but they don't control me, and they don't control the narrative of my life. I didn't even mention that it cured my insane migraines and 10/10 chronic fatigue. Before I was insanely persistent and knew there was light at the end of tunnel. Now I am bathing in the light.
This is what I did: somatic experiencing, EMDR, brainspotting, and neurofeedback. I essentially focused on doing inner child healing. Here's how it works:
Being a child is insanely traumatic. Emotions feel huge, and we are dependent. Emotional abandonment feels like you are going to risk your livelihood and die. The first five years of your life--if you feel very unloved or unsafe, that traumatizes you. This memory stores inside the body as not just as a memory but also stores as tension inside the nerves. It has two connections: the pain stuck in the nerves as well as your actual memory. Every time you were unloved or unsafe, that memory got stuck in your body like a thorn that never got taken out. You have severe depression because you have hundreds if not thousands of those thorns stuck inside. The key to get the thorn out is to essentially wrap the memory and yourself like a blanket with love. It is not about erasing the past or the memory. It is about wrapping yourself and the version of you who went through it with love and care. The memory isn't traumatic because you felt bad. Feeling bad isn't necessarily traumatic. It's because you felt unloved and/or unsafe. You essentially have to be the parent in all of those traumatic memories one-by-one. The key is to not fix the inner child's problem or convince them that they feel ok. The key is to comfort the inner child as if you found them after the feeling of being unloved or unsafe settled in. You make them feel loved and safe the way you needed it in that moment. The love actually heals your mind and nerves. This is not woowoo la la land. This is real. This changed my life. I am someone who was obsessed with psychology, and this is the only thing that worked for me. These changes were 100% permanent. I can actually enjoy my life now.
P.S. Something that was interesting is that feeling good and having a content life is way more chill than you think. It's not like highs and lows. It's just chillness almost all of the time.
I really hope this works for at least one person. I did do this on my own. Make sure to go slow with it because you don't want to exhaust your body and retraumatize yourself. It's better to get an expert, but I was too emotionally broken to do it with someone else because I had attachment issues.
