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Açucarzinho583

Açucarzinho583

com café!
Sep 14, 2023
85
She always had something. A seductive way about her. I remember one time, in computer class, when she kept tapping her feet on my leg. There were times when she'd brush her hands against me. And other times, she'd hug me.

There was a day when she pretended to trip and fell on me. It was obvious. It was theatrical. But it was perfect. She wanted to see my reaction, wanted to know how far I'd go. I've also never forgotten the day she drank from my water bottle. To me, it tasted like a kiss. An indirect kiss.

The problem was, I was shy. Very shy. I didn't do anything. I stood still, frozen. Today, so many years later, I realize: it wasn't just admiration, nor just desire. It was feeling. And only now, after so long, did I have the courage to face it head-on. The courage to say to myself: I liked her. I really liked her. And I regret never saying it. Never doing anything.

Recently, I gathered a group of people from that time to find her contact information.

That's when I discovered she's my best friend's sister. I had no idea. I started wondering if it would be worth talking to her… and, at the same time, I was afraid of ruining my friendship with him.

I spoke to him very carefully, being sincere. I told him I wanted to talk to her, that she was a nice person, and that I just wanted to exchange ideas. He reacted a little suspiciously at first—he said he wasn't close to her, that she "just followed her own path," and seemed a bit reserved about the subject. Even so, he didn't say I couldn't try.

So I gathered my courage. I waited for the right moment, prepared a respectful, light, no-pressure message. I sent it to her: "Hi, <her name>! How are you? I don't know if you remember me, I'm <my name>, we went to <school name> together, about four years ago."

She saw it… and didn't respond.
Then I realized that, on her business account (probably work), I could no longer see her photo, and I started to think I might have been blocked.
It really hurt. I wondered if I did something wrong. If I went too far. If I was unintentionally invasive.
I thought about giving up. I cried a lot and self-harmed. I had panic attacks. I confided in my psychologist. I said: I added a profile picture for her to see, I put on lip balm so my lips wouldn't get chapped for her to see, I bought new glasses because I thought she'd like them, and in the end, I felt a lock on my heart. I ended up drowning my sorrows in coffee and energy drinks. I drank about six cups and only stopped drinking because I ran out.

My psychologist said you should make all these changes for yourself and for yourself. Not for her, or for anyone else. I don't think it will be how I want or would like it. But now it's time to learn to develop yourself so you can relate. I told him I wanted to die, and he said that's not how life works. I need to learn to live. Now I have to stay calm and see new perspectives. I said it seems like everything in my life is destined to fail. My birth was a mistake in itself. I have absent parents who don't care. He replied that I'm not a product of my conception.

I started ruminating. Thoughts like: Did she really care about me, or was I just another one? She's probably already found the right person. I'll never be her friend. Everything will go wrong. All I could think about was cutting myself as deep as possible.

But after much thought, I talked to my friend again. I asked if he would mind talking to her for me. He accepted. He said he would talk to her. And that made me happy. All the negative thoughts disappeared.

I still don't know what will happen. But just the fact that he agreed to be this bridge gave me a hope I'd lost.

I don't know if she'll want to talk. I don't know if you still think of me. But I know I tried. I know I was truthful, respectful, and didn't hide behind fear. And sometimes, that alone is worth a lot.
 
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Bootleg Astolfo

Bootleg Astolfo

Glorious Bean Plushie
Oct 12, 2020
882
Behold, something very rare is going to happen; I, the site's lead jester and massive prick, will show empathy and encouragement :

I've done similiar and started talking to a friend who rejected me 7ish years ago, after having completly dissapeared for all that time, finally had the balls to talk to her again, she seems very about it, we planned that im gonna go visit her and bake her some of my legendary dessert once im back in our hometown ! If it works for me, i'm sure it'll for you, go on king, but maybe... don't go too hard on mental health stuff out of the bat with her, from personal experience that doesnt go great lol.
 
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Satori Komeiji

Satori Komeiji

Member
Jul 15, 2025
27
I'm sorry you had to go through that. I can understand why you're hurting so bad after something like that. I've been through similar things to a lesser extent. In my opinion, its easiest on your mental health to move on as soon as you can. I learned the hard way that not moving on just makes you completely and utterly miserable. Regardless though I'm glad he is going to talk to her. Maybe you'll get lucky and strike up something? If not though, it's best to move on...
 
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Wolf Girl

Wolf Girl

Your friendly neighborhood suicidal wolf girl
Jun 12, 2024
350
It's very hard to experience this grief of "the one that got away." It's also very common. I've been told that a broken heart, like any kind of grief, can only be eased with time.

You'll probably never know what her motivation was for blocking you, so you must learn to make peace with the uncertainty. I think she probably did like you a lot sincerely back then, but people can change a lot in four years. Their circumstances change. The good news is that you can like someone again, just as much as you liked her.
 
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bankai

bankai

Visionary
Mar 16, 2025
2,049
The first half of your post was wonderful. . I mean it Sounded fun and romantic.

I hope your friend can talk to her and come back with some good news. Fingers crossed for you.

But if it doesn't workout, I hope you can get past this and move on.
 
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Worndown

Worndown

Illuminated
Mar 21, 2019
3,735
She had the flirt down. I understand about being shy.
Take a deep breath. See where this goes naturally. It has been a while since her flirting days. She may have another in her life, she may have changed her perspective or she may be open to the idea.
Don't push too hard.
This will be difficult since she is "perfect" but you need to be calm.
I hope all goes well.
 
Grog

Grog

Be good to yourself.
Jun 3, 2025
258
I'm going to be a bit forward and offer my honest opinion; and my intention is not to demean you, but hopefully help you. Sometimes, listening to alternative perspectives help.

I think it's a bit unhealthy for you to romanticize events that happened years ago, especially with a girl that you never had a relationship with. You are really putting her on a pedestal when she likely hasn't thought of you in the same way after you not reciprocating feelings.

It's quite possible that she might just not want to talk to someone who didn't really seem interested beforehand. A lot can happen in four years. You never reciprocated feelings, so she probably gave up on the idea of you two ever being a thing a long time ago; she most likely doesn't think about you as much as you think about her. She probably moved on.

I also personally feel that if you messaged her, and she decided not to talk to you, and she blocked you, that you probably shouldn't attempt again to reach out to her. I feel that's a pretty clear signal that she doesn't wish to speak, and I think you should respect that. It seems that you're really insistent on speaking to her, and if you try to force a conversation when she doesn't want it, it's only going to make you feel even worse. It's probably going to upset her too.

None of this means you're a bad person or anything like that. You're allowed to shoot your shot, too, of course. But since it's with a girl you haven't talked to in a long time, and it seems that she has most likely moved on, I think it would probably be more healthy for you to try to start moving on too. Ruminating over her, trying to force her to talk to you… it's not healthy. In my opinion, it's best to take this whole entire experience as a learning lesson for the future.

I mean no disrespect by any of this message at all. I truly do hope you can heal from this; you don't deserve pain and misery. You deserve happiness too. I wish you the best.
 
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Açucarzinho583

Açucarzinho583

com café!
Sep 14, 2023
85
I'm going to be a bit forward and offer my honest opinion; and my intention is not to demean you, but hopefully help you. Sometimes, listening to alternative perspectives help.

I think it's a bit unhealthy for you to romanticize events that happened years ago, especially with a girl that you never had a relationship with. You are really putting her on a pedestal when she likely hasn't thought of you in the same way after you not reciprocating feelings.

It's quite possible that she might just not want to talk to someone who didn't really seem interested beforehand. A lot can happen in four years. You never reciprocated feelings, so she probably gave up on the idea of you two ever being a thing a long time ago; she most likely doesn't think about you as much as you think about her. She probably moved on.

I also personally feel that if you messaged her, and she decided not to talk to you, and she blocked you, that you probably shouldn't attempt again to reach out to her. I feel that's a pretty clear signal that she doesn't wish to speak, and I think you should respect that. It seems that you're really insistent on speaking to her, and if you try to force a conversation when she doesn't want it, it's only going to make you feel even worse. It's probably going to upset her too.

None of this means you're a bad person or anything like that. You're allowed to shoot your shot, too, of course. But since it's with a girl you haven't talked to in a long time, and it seems that she has most likely moved on, I think it would probably be more healthy for you to try to start moving on too. Ruminating over her, trying to force her to talk to you… it's not healthy. In my opinion, it's best to take this whole entire experience as a learning lesson for the future.

I mean no disrespect by any of this message at all. I truly do hope you can heal from this; you don't deserve pain and misery. You deserve happiness too. I wish you the best.
I appreciate your sincerity and thoughtful words. I understand your point of view, and yes, it may seem like I'm romanticizing someone from the past. But for me, it's something that's been unresolved for a long time, and today, after growing up, I wanted to confront it. I'm not trying to force anyone to like me. I just wanted to express what was kept inside and give a real chance to see if there was still room for something. Yes, I thought about it. If she blocked me, she probably doesn't want to talk to me. And trying to insist may seem inconvenient. But even knowing that, it's hard to just move on, because I think about her every day. I think she has a right to know how I feel. And I needed to tell her, too. Maybe she really has moved on. But for me, worse than saying no is the regret of never trying. So, even if it hurts, I'd still rather have moved on than be stuck in the 'what if'.
 

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