I thought december 1st was gonna be the day. i can't wait that long.

[freon]

On September 9th, I made a failed attempt and was sent to the hospital. I made a promise to myself that day that if things don't get any better, I will be leaving everything behind on December 1st, my birthday. So far, it's only gotten worse. So bad, that I don't even want to wait a whole month anymore.

I sort of just realized that with December 1st being so close to Thanksgiving I will only be magnifying the pain caused to my entire family. I don't want to care about this, but as a caring human being I have no choice.

I'm done deciding on a solid date. It could happen anytime next month. I could jump out of my 17th floor window right now. Or tomorrow. Anytime I want. It's easy, it's free, the only problem is my guts will be splattered all over the sidewalk and road and that will definitely traumatize some people. I wish there was a better way that I could afford.

 

[Retched]

On September 9th, I made a failed attempt and was sent to the hospital. I made a promise to myself that day that if things don't get any better, I will be leaving everything behind on December 1st, my birthday. So far, it's only gotten worse. So bad, that I don't even want to wait a whole month anymore.

I sort of just realized that with December 1st being so close to Thanksgiving I will only be magnifying the pain caused to my entire family. I don't want to care about this, but as a caring human being I have no choice.

I'm done deciding on a solid date. It could happen anytime next month. I could jump out of my 17th floor window right now. Or tomorrow. Anytime I want. It's easy, it's free, the only problem is my guts will be splattered all over the sidewalk and road and that will definitely traumatize some people. I wish there was a better way that I could afford.

17th floor? Oh... I'd be long gone by now. Drunk & off I'd go. The biggest building I can get access to is 7 storeys... parking garage, which has had success for others but I'd hate to survive... 17 on the other hand...