I think love is not such a big deal

[Carrotcake]

I think it is understandable that people want to experience love. You could argue that both biologically and culturally we are programmed to find a mate/love.

For me personally, experiencing romantic love and having a partner has taught me many things. Mainly on the area of self worth and confidence.

However, love is not a cure-all. It is tempting to imagine it is, but I'm afraid I have to be the pessimist here. I'm still very much depressed. Love will not cure your mental illness.

And like someone else wrote on this thread, being with someone while you are depressed/suicidal brings a whole new set of problems. Feeling lonely when you are alone is one thing, but the loneliness of being around the ones who love you, but can't possibly understand you, is another awful experience.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Love will not cure your mental illness.

I should have this tattooed into my brain. Thank you.

 

[Deathbydemo]

 

[lofticries]

Honestly I'd rather learn to love myself than anyone else in a romantic way. Yes,I would be down with selfcest.*shot*

 

[WornOutLife]

Honestly I'd rather learn to love myself than anyone else in a romantic way. Yes,I would be down with selfcest.*shot*

LMAO this made my day! Thank you!

 

[Meditation guide]

I haven't experienced "true love" but maybe some day. It's not on my to do list though.

I'm not happy feeling locked in to anything in general.

 

[nopointofliving]

I think true love is really helpful and joyful, but what I realized even if you get the most perfect relation, suffer and pain are still inevitable. I see some people marrying to their lovers, but suddenly their partner died, or something bad happens. I don't understand life, even when your circumstances are great, life puts something in your way that brings you suffer and despair. As your said, it's temporary and never lasting. When I was with my ex, I was flying in high skies :D he left me, I'm dropped to the ground by speed of light. So you can imagine, I'm broken into pieces and this damage is irreversible. I just want to leave in peace.

 

[MG_39]

Those people who get married and live together until they're grey and old are just amazing. I don't know how they do it.

I think it started with a relationship where they really learned to know each other, and didn't just go into a relationship based on attraction. And when they found out they where a "good match" it started with being "in love" as we all know this feeling will fade over time, but they have made their decision to stay with each other, and with time they learn to know each other better and better, and the communication becomes better and better. And it grows into real love. I think if you would ask those old people they would tell you that there have been periods in their lives where it felt like they where just friends living together and no strong feelings. In todays society it's so common for people to go into relationships very quick, and when they don't fell "in love" anymore, then they leave/divorce each other, because they think they weren't meant for each other.

 

[Hurt]

I'm near 30 and never date a girl. I know it's not everything good in a relationship. My friends have troubles with their gfs from time to time. It's not easy. Sometimes I feel lucky because I'm single but being alone sucks. I think loneliness is not good and it contributes to my suicidality.

 

[FuneralCry]

If we love anything, we just have something to lose. Things can get taken away from us and we end up in more pain that we were originally in. So its better to have nothing at all. Love can save many people but it can also ruin us and send us into despair.

 

[BlankUser]

I think love is a part of a fulfilling life. But it doesn't solve all the problems.

 

[Hood of Bone]

It's such a stupid cliche to say that I need to love myself first because I know I will never, ever love myself until someone I love shows love to me first and proves me wrong.

This is exactly how I feel as a 24-year-old who has never had a relationship despite 8+ years of trying to get one. It's like a Catch 22: I can't get a girlfriend if I don't love myself, but I can't love myself unless I get a girlfriend. How can I possibly feel good about myself as a male virgin in my mid-twenties?

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

This is exactly how I feel as a 24-year-old who has never had a relationship despite 8+ years of trying to get one. It's like a Catch 22: I can't get a girlfriend if I don't love myself, but I can't love myself unless I get a girlfriend. How can I possibly feel good about myself as a male virgin in my mid-twenties?

Yup. Took the words right out of my mouth. I'm in my late 20s and it feels even worse trust me.

 

[ConfusedAndWeird]

I actually had a single partner for nine months, and if I'm being honest, at least in my opinion, romantic relationships are overrated. I used to be an incel who had constantly yearned for a loving, understanding partner, and I actually did end up finding one eventually, but the ultimate problem I ended up having was an extremely strong mental disconnect I had with them. You see, I'm suicidal for reasons other than not finding love so I still wanted to CTB, but my partner didn't feel the same way. Ultimately, though they were a good listener to me and were very nice about it, they would never truly understand me and there would never be a strong bond between us.

Considering most people are prolifers, who cling to life by any means necessary, and who regurgitate positivity slogans as a knee jerk response to any unsolvable negativity, I could never really care too strongly about any potential partner I could realistically have. Not because I don't care in general but I don't feel truly in sync with their feelings. It feels more like I'm having a relationship to check something off a list of stereotypical life goals but it's more of a burden than a benefit because you have to constantly try to be someone you're not, a happy human being, in order to not spread your misery to them. It's painful to put on the façade and it was too painful for me to want to continue it for life so I broke off the relationship.

I would only ever want a partner that struggles with the exact same... mental illnesses that I have, and that has the same attitudes towards them that I have, so I don't have to constantly lie to them to keep them happy, but instead we could both be honest to each other without fear. Ideally we would also both want to CTB at the same time. But considering that the vast majority of people that exist don't fulfill my steep requirements, I prefer being single for the rest of my life to having a perpetually bad relationship. Besides, if you're sure you want to CTB soon like I am, getting a partner that doesn't share the same goals is the pinnacle of irresponsibility in my opinion, because you'd be using them for emotional fulfillment but then leaving them broken and miserable in the end.

 

[AintNoWayOut]

having almost no taste of it is bad though. its not all sunshine and flowers of course but to miss out on it completely will do psychological damage to an extent. definitely hasnt helped me to be alone through all of this.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

If there is one thing my DNA won't let me get rid of it's the desire for the first stages of reproduction. It works by leading you with small steps, manipulative garbage. I found one good idea that is able to reduce the mental/emotional effects of a lack of intimacy, but the physical and direct effects I think just have to be dealt with as it comes. It's a sensation in the chest and head, and it's almost always there when I look for it. It often goes away with exercise. Cooming seems to reduce the intensity, also.

 

[logan]

I think there are many kinds of love.
Love for one's children, partner, pets ...
And when it comes to love as a partner, you still have to distinguish between being in love and real love.
And since it is the strongest feeling of all, it can quickly bring us to our limits - especially when something goes wrong.
I think real love is one of the things that makes life really alive and worth living.

 

[Bullit]

I think love is a part of a fulfilling life. But it doesn't solve all the problems.

There's only one thing that solves ALL the problems...

 

[arslongavitabrevis]

I REALLY wish I didnt have a partner and the strength to just break up with my current one. Because I WANT TO CTB WITHOUT HURTING ANYONE BUT OF COURSE IM UNFORTUNATELY IN A RELATIONSHIP!!!! FUCK

Like my partner is by no means a bad person or abusive etc like almost everyone else in my life. They're just clueless.

This could be me writing this. I'm such a fucking coward and it's only hurting and prolonging pain on both sides. Want an Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind situation please. FML.

 

[heretogethelp]

Jim Morrison Quotes

"Love cannot save you from your own fate." - Jim Morrison quotes from BrainyQuote.com

www.brainyquote.com

'Love cannot save you from your own fate' Jim Morrison (1943-1971)

 

[BloodyNobody]

I'm engaged to be married, when I can put my thoughts behind me and be in a good mood our relationship is great, but when I'm at the lowest and need her the most she seems to hate me. I'm very open about how I feel and how I do not want to exist in this world, probably too open. I'm just so guilty that one day I'm going to hurt her and make her feel the worst pain she's ever experienced we are together 24/7 we even work together so I'm going to flip her whole life upside down :( when she's sleeping I always hold her and tell her how sorry I am for my inevitable death. Fuck I wish everything wasn't so painful. But yeah love can be tricky, you gotta be careful, at any point it could lead to disaster. If she ever left me the pain would be unbearable especially with my bpd. I'm scared but the feeling of being loved by someone so beautiful is worth the risk for me.

 

[Seiba]

Jim Morrison Quotes

"Love cannot save you from your own fate." - Jim Morrison quotes from BrainyQuote.com

www.brainyquote.com

'Love cannot save you from your own fate' Jim Morrison (1943-1971)

Fate doesn't exist.