Story I think I’m ready

[JustABitTired]

I think I'm finally ready.

Today my recent ex blocked me everywhere and the pain is unbearable.

I know I've struggled over the last week / year, but I've got the feeling now.

The only thing keeping me alive was work and I can't meet a very important deadline now because of how broken I am. I know I've posted about attempts before but I think I can follow through this time.

I genuinely can't see past this pain in my heart to the future. I hate being blocked, it makes me feel uncontrollably sad and worthless. I feel so ashamed to be doing this over heart break but I can't take it anymore.my body is tired and hurts from non-stop crying the last week. I just want it all to stop.

I haven't got anything in place and my will hasn't been witnessed. I don't care anymore, my chest hurts.

 

[FuneralCry]

There really is too much suffering in existing, to me it's certainly understandable wishing for true peace from it all, I hope you eventually find the freedom you search for, best wishes.

 

[_Alfarooq_]

I think I'm finally ready.

Today my recent ex blocked me everywhere and the pain is unbearable.

I know I've struggled over the last week / year, but I've got the feeling now.

The only thing keeping me alive was work and I can't meet a very important deadline now because of how broken I am. I know I've posted about attempts before but I think I can follow through this time.

I genuinely can't see past this pain in my heart to the future. I hate being blocked, it makes me feel uncontrollably sad and worthless. I feel so ashamed to be doing this over heart break but I can't take it anymore.my body is tired and hurts from non-stop crying the last week. I just want it all to stop.

I haven't got anything in place and my will hasn't been witnessed. I don't care anymore, my chest hurts.

I have been blocked on whatsapp countless times. This sucks so much. There is someone who was depressed last year and he eventually said that I was the one who made him happy. Now, he has gone to Istanbul for a holiday and dosent give a single shit about my existence.
Before you go, I'll need you to realize your not alone suffering in this cursed world. I am too.
Just remember this beautiful quote from Monty Python: "Life's a piece of shit, when you look at it, life's a laugh and death's a joke it's true."
Life REALLY IS a piece of shit, and is a joke, he's really right lol. It's really nice when you find a song lyric that exactly describes what your going through.
Here is the song: (go to 1:45)
at 1:45

 

[JustABitTired]

Guys, I've done it.

I managed around 80% of a glass of 25g sodium nitrite. It stinged my lips a bit. I chased it down with a bit of milk so I didn't throw up straight after.

What do I do now? I coudn't find any of the other drug in store, so I'm physically trying to keep it down.
20 - 25g - SN - 20:40
2 x gulps of milk (to keep it down)
Feel like throwing up but I'm holding it down. 20:46

 

[Huntfish34]

Oh damn, that all happened pretty fast. Thoughts and prayers sent to you in whatever may happen.
Godspeed ♥

You feel okay?

 

[Darkover]

 

[JustABitTired]

yeah, I think I feel better now. I'm just waiting now. I feel like I should reach out to someone but I don't know who and my ex doesn't want to talk to me

 

[username0]

yeah, I think I feel better now. I'm just waiting now. I feel like I should reach out to someone but I don't know who and my ex doesn't want to talk to me

Call 911 immediately if you have any doubts whatsoever about this

 

[JustABitTired]

Nothing is happening yet? I used Aquarium test strips and it showed the presence of Nitrite but also Nitrate. Have I fucked this up and just drank salt??

 

[glendaaa]

Nothing is happening yet? I used Aquarium test strips and it showed the presence of Nitrite but also Nitrate. Have I fucked this up and just drank salt??

Hi, I saw on your profile you were here Friday. I'm so sorry the sn didn't work, I'm sure that was really scary to go through. Do you know what happened? Was it actually nitrate?