I think im hanging myself Sat night. Over 2 years of beddridden crippling depression.

[claracatchingthebus]

I hope she's okay but she's probably gone. She tried so hard to get better. I wish she had kept trying, but she certainly did not succumb to depression (if she did die) due to a lack of effort. She really fought depression with all her might and she was still sad.

Being suicidal is normally such a lonely and oppressive road and sasu makes things, at least for me slightly less painful, and lonely., but this is the hard part of being on here. Some of us get better, many of don't. I wish I could happier about her having peace but it was so frustrating because her life seemed fine, it was just severe depression, and no one knew how to make it better.. She was one of my favorite people on here. I hope she lets us know in a few weeks she ended up hospitalizing herself or did something other than suicide.

 

[rustcohle4life]

I hope she's okay but she's probably gone. She tried so hard to get better. I wish she had kept trying, but she certainly did not succumb to depression (if she did die) due to a lack of effort. She really fought depression with all her might and she was still sad.

Being suicidal is normally such a lonely and oppressive road and sasu makes things, at least for me slightly less painful, and lonely., but this is the hard part of being on here. Some of us get better, many of don't. I wish I could happier about her having peace but it was so frustrating because her life seemed fine, it was just severe depression, and no one knew how to make it better.. She was one of my favorite people on here. I hope she lets us know in a few weeks she ended up hospitalizing herself or did something other than suicide.

Yeah, it may sound selfish but hopefully she's just in a psych ward right now. She honestly seemed like the most gentle soul ever. Life is so unfair.

Goddamn, why does this forum even exist.

 

[CatLvr]

Dammit. Why did I just now see this?!? I am so sorry. I always enjoyed our interactions but haven't been around much lately. I hope you are at peace now, sweetie.

 

[TBONTB]

Yeah, it may sound selfish but hopefully she's just in a psych ward right now. She honestly seemed like the most gentle soul ever. Life is so unfair.

Goddamn, why does this forum even exist.

It's funnier we think this way isn't it? I'm there too, she was great and we want her to be here.

But she was super clear about her misery. I'm pretty sure she would not prefer to be in a hospital now.

It's just interesting how our minds work. The call to life is strong.

 

[rustcohle4life]

It's funnier we think this way isn't it? I'm there too, she was great and we want her to be here.

But she was super clear about her misery. I'm pretty sure she would not prefer to be in a hospital now.

It's just interesting how our minds work. The call to life is strong.

Yeah, that's why it's selfish. I completely support her right to do as she did though. I think if you truly love someone, you will let them go.

 

[TBONTB]

Yeah, that's why it's selfish. I completely support her right to do as she did though. I think if you truly love someone, you will let them go.

And she's just let us know she's alive

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

And she's just let us know she's alive

Unfortunately:(

Yeah, it may sound selfish but hopefully she's just in a psych ward right now. She honestly seemed like the most gentle soul ever. Life is so unfair.

Goddamn, why does this forum even exist.

I was in the psych ward twice last year. It was useless. That's how I got roped in ECT 17 times that did not work. Only memory loss. Never again. They have nothing to help me or I would go.

 

[TBONTB]

Unfortunately:(

I was in the psych ward twice last year. It was useless. That's how I got roped in ECT 17 times that did not work. Only memory loss. Never again. They have nothing to help me or I would go.

I'll send you the warmest wishes

 

[gottacheckout]

Unfortunately:(

I was in the psych ward twice last year. It was useless. That's how I got roped in ECT 17 times that did not work. Only memory loss. Never again. They have nothing to help me or I would go.

I am so sorry things didn't work out like you wanted.

 

[sanction]

Unfortunately:(

I was in the psych ward twice last year. It was useless. That's how I got roped in ECT 17 times that did not work. Only memory loss. Never again. They have nothing to help me or I would go.

Wishing you nothing but the best

I really really wanted to leave this world as well recently. But I'm also still here. Just know you're not alone

 

[sanctions]

I didn't because I cpuld never get out of bed every day to commit to it. I've read a lot of reviews and wasn't impressed. Plus if ECt didn't work TMs is very doubtful

there's a 5-day TMS called SAINT:

 

[claracatchingthebus]

Unfortunately:(

I was in the psych ward twice last year. It was useless. That's how I got roped in ECT 17 times that did not work. Only memory loss. Never again. They have nothing to help me or I would go.

hope you are doing alright

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

there's a 5-day TMS called SAINT:

Yes thank you for sharing. They are offering this at a local psych hospital for 10k. Insurance does not cover it. It's something I may consider. What the hell I already blew 3.5k on ketamine treatments. I've just read a lot of mixed reviews on TMS in general mostly not working, even some scary side effects.
ECT was supposed to the holy grail and after 17 treatments...zero improvement and memory loss.

hope you are doing alright

Ty

 

[Xiaojiu]

I'm sorry you have been going through all this pain. :( I see that you have been trying your best too! Whatever you decide, we're here for you and wish you just peace from pain and suffering You're also very lucky and blessed to have a bf that is understanding :(

 

[sanctions]

Yes thank you for sharing. They are offering this at a local psych hospital for 10k. Insurance does not cover it. It's something I may consider. What the hell I already blew 3.5k on ketamine treatments. I've just read a lot of mixed reviews on TMS in general mostly not working, even some scary side effects.
ECT was supposed to the holy grail and after 17 treatments...zero improvement and memory loss.

ChatGPT says TMS works differently than ECT and is safer. But I have no experience with depression and you might know better :( I just remember watching the video a few weeks ago and thought I'd pass it on. If there's a local treatment center and you can afford it, it might be worth a shot. I'm just so sorry you're going through this and wish I could help

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

ChatGPT says TMS works differently than ECT and is safer. But I have no experience with depression and you might know better :( I just remember watching the video a few weeks ago and thought I'd pass it on. If there's a local treatment center and you can afford it, it might be worth a shot. I'm just so sorry you're going through this and wish I could help

Thank you

 

[sanctions]

Have you tried scheduling 5-day SAINT program yet? I understand you're actively suicidal, and I do not blame you. However, if you decide to try SAINT, there might be a wait and it's better to schedule sooner rather than later. If you've had years of remission in the past, it seems possible that SAINT could help.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

Have you tried scheduling 5-day SAINT program yet? I understand you're actively suicidal, and I do not blame you. However, if you decide to try SAINT, there might be a wait and it's better to schedule sooner rather than later. If you've had years of remission in the past, it seems possible that SAINT could help.

Ty. Yes I have heard of this. Insurance doesn't cover it is 10,k..I'm stinking about it. I already spenf 3.5k on ketamine infusions.