I think I'm gonna need all the support from you guys when the day comes

[Freakazette]

I don't know yet which day it will be because I don't have any meds yet ( just the SN ); I'm even concerned if I'm not going to wait that long... I want this week that comes... However, with the meds, without the meds, I'm still scared.

Dunno how much time is going to take with SN, how my body is going to react... The level of pain... And I don't want to puke it - even though I'm going to have 2 more glasses, I can fast easily as well!

I'm concerned if it's going to "work" or not, and how much pain you'll have to endure but mostly if it's going to work but still afraid...of the pain as well. Going round and round in circles, everything concerns me! I will have to close my eyes and just do it... BUT I need, I guess, support from you, CTB is what I need and want, my salvation! There's nothing else here but pain. Even a last pain ( with SN ), even more painful than the present one, will be worth it if that's leading to *going back home*.

Peace,

 

[WornOutLife]

You can always talk to me whenever you want to, sis.
I'll be right here!

Hugs and love,

Matt

 

[FuneralCry]

I see ctb as my salvation too. Permanent peace is what I want. I wish you well.