Im a very logical person. In my own opinion. Some people would say that if your even considering CTB, that makes you mentally unhealthy and you need treatment, help, etc.
Two things about that. First, I tried all of that already. Second, this decision comes down to me. Out of anyone in my life, I know my life and my thoughts the best, and of course, I want the most for myself to be happy. So this isn't really a matter of me giving up or not trying, I really want it - whether or not it's possible is what I need to decide.
So I think I need to sit down about this. Very logically write down the pros and cons of my situation. And truly decide whether or not my life will be satisfactory to me. And my situation is a bit unique because I have to cope with a permanent physical issue.
I don't think it's a matter of being super positive about the whole thing - because the reality is my situation kind of sucks. Nor should I be super negative about everything- because I know there is still good things in my life, good friends family and even a budding relationship.
But whether or not I myself can be happy or satisfied, is what I'm trying to realistically figure out. The big worry right now is that even if I decide to CTB, that's going to be a difficult thing to do regardless that honestly still scares the shit out of me in a million ways
Two things about that. First, I tried all of that already. Second, this decision comes down to me. Out of anyone in my life, I know my life and my thoughts the best, and of course, I want the most for myself to be happy. So this isn't really a matter of me giving up or not trying, I really want it - whether or not it's possible is what I need to decide.
So I think I need to sit down about this. Very logically write down the pros and cons of my situation. And truly decide whether or not my life will be satisfactory to me. And my situation is a bit unique because I have to cope with a permanent physical issue.
I don't think it's a matter of being super positive about the whole thing - because the reality is my situation kind of sucks. Nor should I be super negative about everything- because I know there is still good things in my life, good friends family and even a budding relationship.
But whether or not I myself can be happy or satisfied, is what I'm trying to realistically figure out. The big worry right now is that even if I decide to CTB, that's going to be a difficult thing to do regardless that honestly still scares the shit out of me in a million ways
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