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Glazed_Orange

Glazed_Orange

Member
Aug 27, 2024
52
I can't really think of too many reasons to live, the only reason I've carried on is because of Ace. Ace is my dog and is sweet as can be, and has always been there for me. Even though I was never the best, I've had outburst and have even been violent with him. I regret it all, and even if it's hard to understand, I never meant to hurt him. It was almost like a switch, but I love him with all my heart and I'm sorry

All I remember from life is very little, there was nothing but violence and disrespect, and every year that passes, I've forgotten most of it. I've never wanted anything except love and a place to belong. But I can't have that, and the world we live in, is a selfish. I keep thinking, even if I find love, what then? Life is just a series of patterns, and nothing really important can ever come from it. you're happy, and then you die is the best case scenario. Then there's the horrible route of suffering and pain, which is what most about everyone get's nowadays. You work, have some fun, and sleep. But mostly it's just struggling, and I don't think there's a single person who looks forward to that. I'd prefer to just dream forever if I could, I'd play games, watch games, even learn and help everyone I could. I don't like to be forced to survive, as I was never given the choice. Everyone owns something, and there's nowhere in the world to be free.

I really don't know what to do, and for a long time I've wondered if suicide would be a good option. At that point, there's not a whole lot to worry about. I can't find the reason to keep living, and would prefer to go to a desert and see those beautiful stars and just kill me and my dog. I know that's fucked up, and given what I said earlier may have really offended some people. I just want to be honest, something I was never given a chance to do. I want to die, but at the same time, I find myself wanting to live. I don't even know why, when suicide is the easier option.
 
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