I think I may have too many problems to fix...

[DesperateOne]

When it comes to my thoughts, trauma, personality etc... there is just so much wrong and way too much to fix this late into the game. It goes super deep as well and I really have no energy to fix any of it, especially due to how I lived. Just don't have the energy anymore and I don't want to deal with the constant confusion, terror and having no identity anymore man.. Felt like I'm a shell of a human. Doesn't make life worth living. We are all in different situations, but does anyone else feel the same?

 

[dopaminedeath]

Same. Though less terror and more narcissism.
When you say late, what do you mean?
What is your plan?

 

[dogbreath]

So sorry the game of life hasn't been kind to you,,can totally relate,, i find it hard to change my behavior/thinking patterns/ personality because I've been like this for most of my life,,feel like it's too late to change cause I've missed out on all the milestones other young adults have achieved already,,too many problems to fix it will take years, but life isnt patient at alI. feel like as a child it's ok to make mistakes, but once you hit adulthood making mistakes is risky,, saw a post online of a guy saying he's 31, still lives with parents, doesn't have a car, uses a bike, and just got a job. Comments were tearing into him. everyday I feel like I'm playing pretend, pretending to be a human. This game sucks 1/10 stars,,

 

[DesperateOne]

Same. Though less terror and more narcissism.
When you say late, what do you mean?
What is your plan?

Well I'm 23 and have been pretty much disconnected from the real world for majority of my life with absolutely 0 friends (or at least I didn't make any since I completely closed myself off at like 12 + my shit asocial behavior drove everyone away). Have lived pretty much a hikikomori severely screen addicted lifestyle ever since then and it has gotten so bad over the past few years that I'm completely numb and derealized 100% of the time. When I try to reintegrate all of this repressed shit comes flooding back and I start realizing how deep the hole that I've dug myself really is which in turn makes me realize that CTB is the only way out. People obviously don't see that and just see me as this asocial weirdo freak.

Btw, I don't have a plan. I'm just living out my days on the PC, trading crypto here and there and playing games/watching streamers.

So sorry the game of life hasn't been kind to you,,can totally relate,, i find it hard to change my behavior/thinking patterns/ personality because I've been like this for most of my life,,feel like it's too late to change cause I've missed out on all the milestones other young adults have achieved already,,too many problems to fix it will take years, but life isnt patient at alI. feel like as a child it's ok to make mistakes, but once you hit adulthood making mistakes is risky,, saw a post online of a guy saying he's 31, still lives with parents, doesn't have a car, uses a bike, and just got a job. Comments were tearing into him. everyday I feel like I'm playing pretend, pretending to be a human. This game sucks 1/10 stars,,

Yeah, I can relate to you. Shits impossible. People are so ahead of you in terms of spiritual/personal growth that you can't really deeply connect with anyone. Majority of people and normies see you as beneath them anyways. They might talk to you, but nobody takes you seriously or truly wants to be your friend. It's a very disturbing feeling, like you are on an island and everyone around you is on the mainland hanging out.